Wedding Guests, wedding guests are a strange breed. When Ro and I originally wrote our guest list, about eight months ago, we double checked it and felt that other than a couple of mates who live abroad, travel extensively for work, etc., that we wouldn't have many cancellations. How foolish we were!
Due to the nature of the wedding (two nights away) we had to invite people in two tiers, it was a small nightmare trying to get people to commit, but it pretty much worked out, with 90% agreeing to stay on site. We have since filled the remaining 10%, just about, however...we had two friends who were unsure financially and unable to say whether they would definitely stay. At times we both got a little fraught about the matter, but we were adamant that we hold out. Just before Christmas they said they hoped to pay in the New Year, we understood and were grateful for the update.
Come the New Year and I had to push for money from six sets of guests. Ro and I texted accordingly and the aforementioned guests confirmed that they couldn't make it due to a job loss...very sad. Ro and I considered whether they could drive down for the day, however it really isn't for us to decide how they spend their time and money, and it is fair enough if they can not justify attending. It's a huge shame as they are good friends but needs must and we've all been that person who has had to make difficult decisions. My only wish is that we were in a better financial situation and able to offer help.
After we received this cancellation Ro text one mate asking if he wanted to stay on site. I was terribly sexist and assumed that because he was a bloke, he probably wouldn't have arranged anything yet. I was right, to a point. Ro also text another mate asking for him to come to our wedding, we had previously been restricted by numbers.
The latter confirmed that he'd love to attend. However, the first guy came back explaining that he was skint and wouldn't be attending the stag or wedding and had meant to let Ro know... Ro accepted this fate but with a small sting in the tail, as this particular friend had spoken about never attending a wedding or stag do before, and being excited about it all. Once again, we understood and started to laugh, it was becoming a little ridiculous!
The following day, Ro received another text stating that a friend's partner couldn't make the meal but would attend the evening. This was met with a chuckle and appreciative reply.
"Fine" we thought, that is the final list of those not attending and we can now settle our numbers and pay the caterers the final bill...FOOLS!
During my hen, Ro's sister told me that one of their cousins would most likely pull out as she had confessed to not arranging travel or accommodation. A week later, during the Stag, Ro receives a text saying that she was unable to get leave arranged at work, once again we laughed...what is it with some people?
Additionally, we are yet to have final confirmation from another cousin, who said they'd probably come just for the ceremony (we kept a bed and meal for him, just in case) but at this time, it is all just stupid and we have given up caring.
The first cancellation was really sad, we'll miss not having them present; the second one was rather 'ce le vie'; the third can at least come to the evening and allowed us to save some cash...and as for the cousins - oh my days, some people you just can't help, no matter what you do.
My advise about this part of wedding planning is:
- 'don't assume', just accept that some people can not commit or make things work and they some times have more important things at hand; and
- make sure you enjoy the company of those who do attend, and don't you dare pine over the ones who can't.