Monday, April 30, 2007

Hopefully, Gabrielle was wrong and not all dreams do come true!!!

Recently, say the last month, I've been having the most random dreams.

Some were pretty tame - I was in the local pub of Drayton (the village I grew up in) with Jo and Jd is working behind the bar, the pub looks nothing like it does and was in the middle of no where but we all know it's supposed to be The Red Lion. I pop to the bar and realise that there was a wedding reception in the garden, which a beautiful river runs past, which is the only way of getting back to Drayton from here, you have to river wad (don't ask?!). After a chatting with JD and buying drinks, I return to Jo to find her talking with an ex of mine and one of his housemates (what was weird about this, was that they hadn't met at the time and they were getting on really well). My dad comes to give me a lift home and half way home, I say that my ex had offered to walk me home (through the river, which is quite dangerous but we've all done it so many times, we know where the dangerous parts are, etc. Plus this ex has offered to do anything with me in public for fucking ages, so it was quite a gesture.) and my dad turns the car around (this would never ever happen) and drops me off at the pub to walk home with the ex. This was the start of my random dreams...

In another one, I married a 40-50 year old millionaire with a ginger comb over, just for the divorce and his money. We were at the reception, which was held in a marquee that was based in the valley and stretched up 3 hills. What concerned me was that no one was asking me why I'd married him or was trying to talk me out of it, plus my dad spend the entire time complaining about the marquee being all wrong. The weirdest part was realising at the end of my dream that I might love this man but knowing deep down that I was in love with someone else.

The jumpiest of them all came a few nights ago, I was being wooed by my next door neighbour (and no not the attractive rock climber, damn shame.) the one with 3 wives and 13 kids. I was at the beach with a group of friends and we all had to climb these massive hills and twirling pathways to get to the beach and my neighbour turned up asking me for a date and then wooing me, the whole time I was thinking, I'm never going to be your 4th wife, so don't bother and then all of a sudden feeling like i was in a trance and thinking, actually your rather swoonsome...and as I thought maybe, he turned in to a Vampire and disappeared off in to the woods, at which I ran away to rejoin my friends - Lucky escape if you ask me.

The funniest one, I had this on Saturday night was that I was Nicholas Lyndhurst (yeah, Rodney!!!) and Sir David Jason (from such classics as Dangermouse, Wind in the Willows and The BFG) was making a documentary about how Only Fools and Horses became so big...all very odd. The oddest part was when my two teeth fell out (I used to get teeth falling out dreams all the time, they represent anxiety and stress), and no one seemed bothered but I went to the Dentist and he said due to my over crowding they'd fill in without any hassle, which was nice.
Once I'd sorted the teeth problem, I appeared to morph in to Sir David Jason and was chatting to Steven Fry, who was playing Compo from Last of the Summer Wine and we were discussing an up and coming project and he was trying to crack on to me, and me being Sir David Jason didn't mind at all, I was rather flattered.

Yeah, I think I'm screwed! Thankfullly last night i had no dreams, so got some proper rest, the best thing about these dreams is that they've not been to stressful, so have slept well throughout them, the worst thing is how random they've all been!

Saturday, April 28, 2007


Golly, slightly drunken blogging is a little wrong, not only are the spelling mistakes a pain in the arse but also the lack of anything to say other than crap, it's a slight problem, which is never normally a problem, as when I'm sober, I'm more tolerant of my normal crap and once a little twatted, i get impaitent and bored of myself, I become restless and fed up and have no time for bull shit or the usual crap that I'll tolerate.
It's quite funny, I keep on correcting my spelling mistakes and keep on thinking, when I do so so, that I should leave them, as you'd all still understand. The next paragraph I shall leave badly written and typed and ignore it, even though it shall haunt my dreams and cause me many a bad nights sleep (being a perfectionist is a pain in itself), I'm slightly pissed, what do I care?
tonightm, was the first night I've gone out drinking sociailly for ages and it gelt great, so wonderful. howard left me early on as she had to attend her partner with feod anf drink, so I caried on to tthe duke for drinkies, i ended up chatting to a wonderfuyl girl called Sam, she was marvelllous and jollly good fun, i fuck,ing love new people - ph so mucj, i forgot how mych i do love new peopel - sje and i had a certain uynderstanind of wach other, which was fucking ace and really nice.
OK, I'm sorry but I can not take not correcting these spelling mistakes anymore, my skin is starting to itch and my fingers starting to twitch and my iTunes has run out of tracks, which I will
Anyhow, I had a small amount of money to my name but when Shot O'Clock pops by 5 minutes after you walk in the door, you know you won't need more than £20. Oh dear, Shot O'Clock did actually pop by pretty quickly, which explains me right will never explain my randomness, only my family can explain that and if you don't know them, you'll never truly understand...I am a marvellous individual clone - I am my mother and my father of equal proportions, as well as own self and I can recgonise their mistakes and my own and know when to curve them and how others will react, before they've done so.
If you know my family, you'll know that we are all so different, we spend forever screaming at each other but we are all so similar that we understand the screaming and know that it's so short lived and represents our love for each other, that you may as well accept what the other is saying and scream your love back - yes I'm rambling but I love my family and how very different and how exactly the same we all are. It's as simple as you can't choose your family, so you may as well try to understand them. It'll save a lot of time and annoyance in the long run. Maybe I'm just lucky, as my family are all pretty simple and straight forward, even the complicated ones...there never has been and never will be bull shit in my family, as none of us would abide it. Which I respect and love whole heartidly.

Basically, I love being me and appreciate all of the greatness and shitness through my past, as it's all applied to make me me.

I originally had a point to make about drunken blogging, I think some how I made it but failed to make it in one, jolly good. No more drunken blogging from me!!! Promise!

Here's to the Four Tops! Yeah, they are so fucking awesome!!!!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Bi-cycling around Oxford.

If someone had said to me 4 years ago that I'd be a bi-cycling around Oxford and loving it, I would have told them to go fuck themselves, as it turns out, they would have been right.
Since I moved to East Oxford, I discovered how truly awful driving around the city is (I already knew it but thought it might be ok-ish), also walking is fantastic fun but sometimes takes up to much time. So after discussing this very matter with my friend Emily, she offered me her old bike. One afternoon a few weeks later, a bike arrived for me, thanks to her uncle for dropping it off and so my love for bi-cycling and for Flo (full name being "The Fluorescent Wonder") began.
After a few cycle rides, I took to it like a duck to water...remembering how to use the gears and to up my ante when on a hill. I would do as I used to on hills by standing up and swaying side to side but that isn't Oxford bi-cycling etiquette, not at all. From what I can understand when approaching a hill, drop down a gear, then one should stay seated and make it look as easy as possible...which of course it is and I do all the time.
It's amazing how much of Oxford is designated to bi-cyclists. I'd never noticed being a driver, so it was a pleasant surprise to discover. There is parking and lanes for bi-cycles everywhere and it's hella good fun to bi-cycle around, especially when plugged in to a good album.
One of my favourite routes when bi-cycling, involves Longwall Street and then up Holywell Street, as Holywell is a slight relaxing pace and very pretty, I take this route everytime I cycle in to town. One of the others is the traffic lights at the High St./Longwall St. junction, over Madgelene Bridge and down to The Plain, I love racing the other bikes and the it!!! Also bi-cycling up to Summertown is beautiful and lovely to potter on around. Generally i'm well in to the bi-cycling and love being one of those annoying bastards in the way of all the traffic.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

007 Driving school

Now the title may startle some of you but don't let it. Basically, while driving in to Oxford earlier today, I found myself behind the car in the below image, let's forget that it's a Clio and that he had no idea about indicating or roundabouts....have a look at the name of the teaching company - 007. They've even seeked special permission to use the entire logo, including the gun but am I not mistaken, did not James Bond have a license to kill? Plus, we've all seen what he does to cars! Not the best name if you ask me.


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Top 5's

If/when you visit my house, you'll discover some neatly stuck up pieces of A5 paper attached to the sitting room wall, these are our 'Top 5's', one night while bored in front of the TV we decided to do so.

It started with your "Top 5 roast dinners by accompanying condiment", mine reads -

There are other topics: Top 5 roast by meat, Top 5 Veg, Top 5 Fruit, Top 5 smells, Top 5 Famous Men (this isn't who you fancy, it could be but it's more who you admire/like), Top 5 Famous Women (same as the men), Top 5 things to do with your hands, Top 5 crisps. That's about it, we did have a list of about 20 other topics on which we were going to survey but never got round to.

My Top Famous Men reads:
John Cusack - I love him and his voice.
Anthony Hopkins - He's just so cool.
Bill Bailey - He's fucking brilliant, I love him.
Gabriel Byrne - Just look at him and he's Irish.
Frank Sinatra - Well, he just has to have been there, he's amazing, even if he was an alcoholic pill popping wife beater who had no respect for women - Have you seen the original Ocean 11's?!

The one I'd love to do, but it wouldn't be met so well with some of my housemates, as some of them do not appreciate the glory of a good swearing (weirdos!), would be 'Top 5 Swear words'. Amazingly enough, number one would not be Cunt, it would be in there but number one, above all other swearwords has to be Fuck. Was there any doubt? I do hope not, as if so, I must try harder to spread the word - literally!

I think it would read something like this:
Cockmunch (it's a hybrid but counts)

The top four are for sure, without doubt but the bottom one will probably change and morph in to other words (bugger, bloody, twat and prick, for example), variety is the spice of life. Thinking about it now, Twat may have to feature as number five, as I love saying it and calling people it and it's never meant as an insult (it's meant as a pregnant fish, lol, sorry a small in joke, in joke of our house, isn't it Miss Hamilton).

So here's to Fuck, I fucking love the word and it causes a glorious, glorious release of annoyance and when irritated over the next few days, have a swear, you know you want to.

Please feel free to add your Top 5 swear words in the comments.

Monday, April 02, 2007

The Grannymobile, but you can call her Nan.

The grannymobile is coming along nicely, oh so nicely. I think I'm likely to pull some nice young chap from Oxford with it.
It's a beautiful Vintage (you know 'vintage' as in old and second hand but let's make it sound way cooler than it is) car, with only 38,000 miles on the clock, some lovely fake flowers on the dash and no power steering - I collect envious looks from others, as I tootle past them at 60mph, but what's a girl to do?!
My father has informed me, that it's such a nice car that a family of mice moved in during the winter, they've made a cute little home in the boot, tucked nicely away by the spare wheel. I mean, who else can claim that they've had inhabitants during the colder months in their cars..I think no one.

It's my birthday today and I couldn't care less, as this week is all about Friday and Friday alone...roll on Thursday night! Although saying that, I am now the proud owner of a very pretty new handbag, thanks Garbs and Vikki and one of the greatest classic rock albums ever, AC/DC - Back in Black, cheers Howard.