Wednesday, April 29, 2009

This could be a new excuse for Jeremy Kyle's guests!

It might be possible that this is the best sentence I've read in a long time:

Lastly, Bering explains how a woman can get pregnant by a man she never had sex with:

If "Josh" were to have sex with "Kate" who recently had sex with "Mike," in the process of thrusting his penis back and forth in her vagina, some of Mike's semen would be forced under Josh's frenulum… Were Josh to then have sex with "Amy" several hours later, it is possible that some of the displaced semen from Mike would still be present under his foreskin and thus may be unwittingly transmitted to Amy who, in turn, could then be impregnated by Mike's sperm. Of course, all of these people would need to be obsessed with dick".

I might try this one day, just because I can.

It was taken from a report on 'Scientific American', obviously I wasn't reading that, it was brought to my attention by Jezebel, like all the good stories I write about. If you'd like to read the whole article click here.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Garfunkel and Oates

Am currently loving these two girls, singing how they see it.

Pure genius!

This is one of my favourites -

This is pretty good to -

Friday, April 24, 2009

Reunion with a difference...

If I'd gone to school in America, I totally would have done this at my reunion.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Brain so full...

....yet I'm finding it so hard to empty any of it, it's constant noise and chatter and I can't clear it no matter how I try.

And everytime I think about writing a blog, I think of funny, witty things and then my fingers start typing and nothing....

I'm in love with this photo above. It's not funny and is pretty awful. I do not condone or believe the KKK are right in anyway, I just love how unhappy the kid looks about being dressed up in a mental outfit!!! It looks as though his actual thoughts are "You have to be having a laugh, you stupid bitch".

Also, in another world of scary children. There is a current American show about Children Beauty Pageants which is beyond scary. The blog I read regularly linked to some of the girl's websites and oh my god, I mean, there is airbrushing and then there is AIRBRUSHING.
I believe the photo to the left is the perfect example of the latter - argh! She looks like she belongs to The Corn!!!
Everything about her makes me scared shitless...if I woke up in the middle of the night and found this staring back at me, I'd shit my pants!!! "Run for your lives".

In other news, not much is going on. I spent a lovely weekend in Polzeath Cornwall. For a hen do. It was incredibly charming and lovely but I can't share any stories here, it would be uncouth. One doesn't hen do and tell. Needless to say it was fun times all round!!!

When I can make sense of the remaining brain sick in my head, I shall puked it up here but right now - it's a huge jumbled mess of crazy!

If only the below was a skit!!!

And once you hear it, you'll be humming it all day long:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lost vs Heroes

So in Lost, what is done in the future, can't be changed by adapting pasted actions.

In Heroes, you can change the future by adapting past actions.

If the writers of each show had a massive fight, who would win? And if time travel is possible, who is right?

I'm so confused!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Confusing Sex Ed

Let's hope this guy never teached Sexual Education to children.
Aren't the kids already confused enough...

If only his dad had flushed this "potential" offspring down the toilet!

Watch more confused bigoted uneducated ramblings by this guy.

Monday, April 06, 2009

The second post of my 28th year!

I've been thinking about the inevitable speeding ticket and decided instead of the kind smile and nod, to ensure I knew I'd been busted. I'd have preferred him to have done a commando roll and then propped himself up on one knee with gun in hand for full effect but alas, it was not to be.

I'm pretty sure I was ranting about a film a while ago called Wristcutters: A Love Story. Well, if not, I'm foolish and if so, it's going to happen all over again. As I finally got it on dvd. It is now available to purchase. And I love it so. It's such a charming concept and with the Gogol Bordelloesque soundtrack and washed out filming style, works exceedingly well for the feeling it's trying to get across. You should watch it, very soon. I adore it and everyone I've recommended it too, has loved it also.

It was my 27th birthday the other day. I turned 27 years old. Most people don't think it's possible, due to the Oil of Olay doing it's job. Alas, it is possible. Maybe this means I should go to Hollywood and play a kid at highschool?
The evening was a major success! I went for a sedate affair, where I located myself in a pub and awaited friends to show up. In fact, I turned up late and had friends waiting for me, which is nice.
Loads of people showed up and I had a fantastic night. Funniest being that my friends took all the photos and then returned my camera at the end of the night. Looking through them the next morning was rather entertaining.

The guys at the pub made me drink the entire layered shooters board. There are 15 in total and they are all 35ml sized glasses, I think someone worked out that I basically had 20 standard shots (not recommended and to any old punter, wouldn't be allowed), plus the long drinks of choice. Oh deary me. Luckily I'd been training all week for it and also had eaten everything I could find that day, so I was well prepared. The night ended at a very quiet Cellar with dancing fun times. I also stood in dog poo - yay me!

My 28th year is off to a good start!

Plus, my housemates obviously like me too much (probably for all the cleaning I do), as they gave me a sturdy steed to race around town on. And she is a cool rider! So, as of this week, it is RIP Flo and a nice warm welcome to Slaaag aka Trusty Steed!
And I had numerous lovely presents and cakes made for me. I truly have some amazing friends.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Spinsterville Next Stop

I've just finished off half a cake...but it's cool. As it's my birthday!

I'm 27! Woop!
I like getting older, every year gets better and better and brings more opportunities and people to meet. I hate the idea of the day when it's worse to get older and things seem to go in the opposite direction.

In other news. I got caught speeding for the first time the other day, gutted! 9 years and finally got busted. I keep on spacing out while driving, which isn't good. I think it's due to being so tired. This week, I've failed at getting a regular amount of sleep. On about average I've had 5 hours a night but...alas it's not so evenly spaced out. Next week I'll get back on to normality, I'm a little worried about the spacing out personally.

I'd be officially classified as a spinster in Jane Austen's time - bring it on! The old maid in the corner with a bonnet and a ramshackled home.

Right, onwards and upwards. Just thought I should drop by.