Friday, January 25, 2008

Anyone for squash?

Now I generally find Victoria Beckham rather repulsive, but of late, I find her even grotesque and one of the main points of disgust are her breasts, they're so horrid.
At which point did people think that two flatten balls of flesh pressed against the torso was a good look?
I like breasts, of course not like a man, but they are very attractive and can look incredible but when someone has fake boobs, not much can be done to make them look better, or attractive in my eyes.

When a breast is lifted (by bra or whatever method) it should slope and look pert, not be squashed and flattened.

I think that one of the sexiest things about a ladies cleavage is the natural slope from the top to the tip. And the slight cleavage spacing, not tightly squashed together but loosely pushed together - it looks amazing!

I know it's not just Ms Beckham's breasts which are repulsive (look at her face?! Nah, that wasn't quite what I meant), I'm implying that I know loads of people have boob jobs and some of theirs look fine (not constantly squashed and horrid) but her's are just awful and if girls are growing up, thinking they want to be like her and see her breasts as nice, they are seriously misguided.

I do wish she'd put them away to be fair, well in fact, I wish someone would put her away full stop and loose the key. I mean seriously, what does she do?! And how can someone live without smiling constantly?! And what sort of materialistic screwed up view on the world will her kids have?!

Monday, January 21, 2008

My CD player extraordinaire!

The CD player in my car has been having issues of late. He has started to believe he is anything other than a CD player.
I'm not sure what he thinks he is but it's definitely not a CD player, other wise he'd play the CD's I put him in, regardless of what they were or maybe he is fed up with my taste in music and decided to take it upon himself to stop playing anything he dislikes?!

It used to be that he would play anything but occasional home burnt CD's. But over the last few months, he's got pickier and pickier. It started with him refusing to play some pop (Kylie was most put out), then he decided that he'd refuse perfectly good classic music (The Mac and Mamas & Papas weren't overly impressed to say the least), now I have to confess around this time I was also listening to a lot of Queen and I mean a lot!!! So maybe he got fed up with me singing along to all 3 greatest hits albums?!
But since then, the beginning of December to be precise, he's become so temperamental that the only CD's I can guarantee he'll play are: Barry White, Tina Turner, Radiohead's In Rainbows and occasionally Arcade Fire's Neon Bible and that is it, from my collection of about 20 CD's in my car!

So when I've a craving for something special, as long as it's one of four CD's, it's fine or if I've got my iPod, it's fine, although it really isn't, as the iPod trip I've got occasionally buzzes and also is a lot quieter than the CD's are, so there is no chance my eardrums will start bleeding due to excess noise.

I'm definitely thinking that my CD player thinks it's a cassette player or something similar. He just doesn't quite understand the media of the digital age anymore...bloody thing!

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Dips and Waves of 2007

Isn't life a strange thing. 2007 was a pretty awful year. I had originally resigned to think 2008 was a repeat of 2007 but decided after seeing some friends and just ranting about crapness to change my outlook to sunny side up!

2007 was a strange year, it was a limbo year of crap. Nothing really happened but everything actually happened, it was a strange affair.
January came in with a load of new friends, singledom lingering and a horrendous bust up with a good friend for the sake of saving him later pain. It was generally full of loads of arguments and hostility. And my resolution was to stop biting my nails.
February was wank, still full of hostility, was still shagging an ex who decided when and where and came and went as he felt fit, nothing really happened, although my friends life were generally frantic at this time and I spent a lot of time walking on egg shells to offer ears to people.
March was a non-starter really, although it was mainly full of organising my party.
April had the best birthday party of my life, it was definitely a high point of my year or even maybe my life?! Having one of my best friends fly half way round the world for me was incredible and also, finding most of my bedroom upside down with fantastic! Also stayed with the Chapman-Pinchers in Pershore and went to Weymouth - Both incredible times!!!
May if i remember it was sunny and lovely. May Day was loads of fun. It also involved lots of bike rides and sitting in the garden reading books.
June and July came and went. Not much happened, other than a trip to Longleat (so much fun), more bike rides, BBQ's and generally great nights out. Also started working in the ahoy!
Aug and Sept came and I started to date a new guy who was adorable. Moved house and finally got rid of people who had to linger in my life. Also realised I love living with guys, compared to girls...more even in the house, bit more like the family home.
Oct and Nov were weird months, loads of work and sickness. Became single. Went on a couple of dates with a strange guy who just stopped calling one day? Got death threats from someone I've never met and who is supposed to be in love with a very good friend of mine - extremely odd!
And finally Dec which was a strange month, didn't last very long and was full of lots of official clear ups. I ate a lot of Sushi during the month and I got to stand on stage in front of 700-800 people and attended one of the best parties I've been too! And I've near enough managed to stop biting my nails, only took a year!

So, 2008 started...the first week was dreadful. I saw the new year in with such an anti climax, started to dread 2008 but it's all change now. Am seeing/not seeing a fabulous guy who I adore, god knows why I do but I do. Have been informed I'm getting some cash from various areas, which is all to pay off my credit cards, as my new years resolution is to clear my debts. And am off to Kiwiland in February for a wedding of two good friends. One of my best friends is out there and am hoping to collect a hug from her aswell, and I just found the shoes I've been searching for since November for £12 - bargain!!! Rock and Roll on 2008!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Tumble Me

Before I start this story, I'm just going to quote that yes I had been drinking but:
a) I was not drunk, or tipsy, had just had a beer and 2 gin and tonics.
b) I was wearing heels, which allows me to have been a little more off kilter than usual.
and c) I know you shouldn't play ball games indoors, unless it's those sorts of ball games (sorry couldn't resist).

So, the story starts like thus:
On Sunday, I went down to London to see a friend and yes, I suppose you could call him a "friend"! We hung out for a bit, got hungry, went out for dinner, drank said beer. Popped to the pub on the way home, had the two gin and tonics that I mentioned, or Gin and bollocks as my friends and I refer to them as, but like I previously stated one was not drunk or even tipsy.

We got back to his front door and inside his hallway, now let me set up the scene. He lives in a very nice first floor flat, the stairs are inside, carpeted and outside of his flat door, it's all very well lit.
Once inside the hallway, said friend decides to start playing with a football, kicking it up the stairs, I get bored and due to having worn heels all day, just want to sit down, so take his keys and start up the stairs. On the way up, I happen to stop the ball from rolling back down the stairs. At which point, he states "look what you've done", I'm now at the top of the stairs, turn and go to kick the ball back to him. Unfortunately, one has never been good at sports or hand eye/foot eye co-ordination...Instead of kicking the ball down, I end up throwing myself down the stairs, head over heels, while falling I smack my head and left knee against a very hard brick wall, I also slam my thigh and shin against the stairs.

It's amazing how slowly you fall and how quickly your brains thinks. My thoughts during my fall, which felt as though it lasted for at least a minute or two, was firstly:
Gosh, I was only thinking the other day, it's been yonks since I fell down the stairs.
How long are these stairs?
Am I about to knock said "Friend" over like human skittles or will he somehow be able to stop me?
Thank god, I've finally stopped and I'm not damaged.

What transpires is that, my friend stopped me and then remarked "Bloody hell, are you ok? You could have broken your neck?!", to which my reply was hysterical laughter, while sitting on his feet two thirds of the way down the stairs.

I now have a huge growth on my forehead that isn't very visible but bloody hurts. I hugely swollen left knee with impressive bruise to suit. A lump on my right shin with mild bruising and a deep purple bruise on my right thigh - I never was very dainty.

But I suppose that is what happens when you misunderstand and fall head over heels at someone, instead of for them.