Thursday, May 28, 2009

Easy come, easy go?

It appears to me that I have a pretty rubbish selection of male friends who find it impossible to keep female friends, once they get girlfriends. Some of these guys know they do this, so give little disclaimers about the situation and others have no idea and just choose to ignore all general communication and forget who we ladies are.

I can always tell when this is happening to such friends, as they start to not message off their own backs, don't respond to messages sent and when they do respond, most communication is curt to say the least.
This is in itself frustrating but to have to do the maths yourself is even more irritating. Being a stupid girl, I some times think that when people don't respond to messages, it might be something to do with me (why this is my second thought, is beyond me, stupid girly brain), alas when they do eventually reply, it's short and needless of response, I instantly know there is a girl present in their life. At which point I lessen most communication and await their acknowledgement of being a shit friend. This normally happens the first time a fight happens or if they break up. If there is no such thing, I await the news that a baby/wedding is on the way and I wave goodbye to my friendship.

I know this isn't always the case, I've many male friends who have managed to keep me in their life but a lot of them seem to think you're not allowed friends or freedom, when in a relationship.
I normally don't expect to hear from my friends (female or male) for at least 3 months when they start out in a new relationship. It's only fair to expect nothing from them during the beginning. If they are totally in love with the new person in their lives, I give them another 3 months, after which I hope they'll remember us lot and get in touch. Most do and then we all carry on our merry way.

I just will never get people who think that being in a relationship, means you've no need to friends anymore. It's bollocks!
I will always need my friends. Regardless of how amazing the person who I date is. Maybe I'm backwards but I expect most of my partners to appreciate what my friends have done for me in the past and not mind when I've got to go running to them for whatever reason. Maybe this is why I'm currently single but I'd rather be this way and end up with someone who knows what I'm like from the offset, than make out that I can be 100% committed to a relationship and that my friends don't mean that much.

In other news, the new Ford KA is horrid! For some reason, they've cut and shut a Renault Megane and an old KA together - it's ugly as sin! Why they insist on taking sleak lines and making them all bulked up and steroid shaped is beyond me! Go back to design school!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bottom sinks!

I want a set of these sinks! How cool?

From US of A to the UK

I'm really up for someone to do the following artwork with our cabinet.

Some of my favourites:
Our favourite, Palin

I adore this one, as he looks like Tobias from Arrested Development

Looking good McCain

Surely it's only a matter of time...

P.S. I wish they'd done some of the Democratic's too. Especially John Edwards, who is a smug git, mainly for getting away scot free for cheating on his wife and getting the "other women" pregnant and walking away. And who does his wife blame? Obviously the silly bitch who tempted her husband!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Someone pass me a gun!

I was made to watch American Idol last night. I didn't want too but was eating dinner at a friends and she's a fan.
The shows starts, misty screens, orange skin and whiter than white teeth.

Then my friends favourite comes on. He's the childish emo looking dickhead, with a face that needs a large dent in it, to be improved.
Everyone screams, everyone loves it, the judges (two of whom, I've no idea who they are), Paula and Simon, plus the host come in to view and they start to discuss the songs the three contestants will be singing.

Simon Cowell with his awful hair and whiter than white teeth announces that he's selected a U2 song for this irritating kid. Boasts about some personal confirmation from Bono (Please let's try and remove this hypocritical wanker from the face of the earth. Old U2 good, modern U2 - irritating!), and off the shows goes with an awful rendition of one of my favourite songs, One.

In typical American television fashion, they make the song theatrical, epic and generally destroyed it in 2 easy minutes!!!
A once beautiful, calm, serene, emotional song has now been adapted to a horrid, screechy, cretinous rendition!

I now want to really punch this kid in the face. And the fact that the judges spend the next 1000 seconds gushing about how amazing it was, I'm sorry, you what?

This is why I hate most American TV "talent" shows - where's the remote?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The love of a Jackass

Ok, ok, so I know that the guy I'm going to link too is a complete and utter arse!
He's a egotistical, big headed, nasty, horrid little man but I think I'm in love with him.

Most of his stories start with:
Stage 1: a repulsive air, full of big headed, attention grabbing bullshit, with the occasional hysterical and also, horrendous one liners which floor people with such disbelief, it's pretty incredible.
Stage 2: he and his friends attempt to pull several "hotties", normally succeeding to a certain level but also failing to a comical standard. I've read numerous stories of his now and am amazed he's ploughed any tail at all.
Stage 3: Final admittance to failure. Continuing the party somewhere else.
Stage 4: They all end with either the "inevitable" (in his world only) puking or shitting his pants.

The guys is a genius! I don't, necessarily, condone his behaviour but also the fact that he writes most of his stories in the future, with a hindsight view. The ability to quip himself and his friends. The fact he can see that some of his past actions, weren't big or clever, are cruel but are inevitably rather funny, means that at least he's grown up some what.
But most of his one liners (once the cruel blast at unassuming passerbys have pasted and he actually applies himself), floor me! Some are old classics, some are new, quick witted and intelligence. God knows, if he actually said them there and then or added them to the story afterwards for affect but his story telling is at least entertaining, even if for all the wrong reasons.

Anyhow, I think my favourite of his stories so far, is the one about trying anal sex for the first time. Too too funny!

I guess it's time for you to decide, if you choose too. He's a dick but his stories make me cringe, feel queasy, horrified and also laugh, normally out loud.


My boss got sent a clip of a guy trying to drive on Salvia. For those of you who do not know, I didn't until yesterday, Salvia is a psychedelic drug in the States. It's legal, and generally the trips only last for a few minutes or so...

More info here.

Anyhoo, this video is quite funny...

But I think my favourite of his attempts to get work done on Salvia, has to be his writing a letter to congress. If he actually mailed it, I'd have loved to see the senators face upon opening it.

Remember kids, it's not big and it's not clever but it is quite funny.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Abe Lincoln and The Queen get it on...

Oh my god, this is so gross and yet so funny...

Thursday, May 07, 2009

No entry

This paragraph of an article about people who have been banned from entering the UK tickled me some what.

Although, we now can't say that Passport Control and Immigration don't have a sense of humour, I mean, who knew?!

"In January last year, a foreigner who wanted to visit the north east was refused entry to Britain because visa officials ruled it "not credible" that anyone would want to spend a week in Gateshead".

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Big Fish

I am loving this photo! There are numerous things but mainly, I love how the guy on the left looks like he's failing to even hold it!