Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My Left Foot

Whenever my boss can't remember the name of the band in the studio, he'll call them 'My Left Foot'. For ages, this confused me, I had no idea why when he could call them 'Thingmajig' or 'Thatracket', he'd call them that. So I asked him, and he simply said "When bands have a stupid name I can't remember, I'll use the title of a great film, it always makes them sound better".
I added 'My Left Foot' to my lovefilm list, I'd never heard of it but want to see every great, average and shite film in the world ever.

It finally came through and I watched it, and oh my god!!! It's incredible! When nearing the end, I stated "if Daniel Day Lewis didn't get an award for this, it's a fucked up world", he did and he deserved it. I suppose acknowledging that he's a method actor, makes it's even more incredible (although that isn't why he should win things) and I think you'd have to have lived with such a disabling disorder to truly be able to portray it in it's correct sense.

I laughed out loud and uncontrollably, and cried within 5 minutes of each other. It's really good.

P.S. If you do want to watch it and can't find it in any video shops, it's up on YouTube but I didn't say that.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Simon & The Witch

I'm watching Hollyoaks Later, well I've nothing better to do. And saw an actress, who reminded me of one of the greatest children's tv shows of my childhood.
Welcome to reminiscing alley!

Plus, due to a video a friend made of his world trip, I've fallen in love with a new band and a particular song, thanks Matt.
The Envy Corps - Rhinemaidens

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Kindness leaves me flustered

When people perform random acts of kindness towards me, it completely throws me. I get extremely flattered, flustered and embarrassed. On Wednesday, due to Lou's leaving shindig the night before, I felt like death (I guess partying until 5am isn't a good idea on a school night), it took me an hour to convince myself to get out of bed. Realistically, I shouldn't have come to work, I failed. Was an hour late and generally hopeless!
Lunchtime came, I failed at eating, I was a failure, a BIG FAT FAILURE!!! Then the post arrived!
In the post was a jiffy envelope, I dreaded opening it, I assumed it was a demo, I hate demos. I eventually opened it and had a lovely surprise. It was the new album of a band I like. It was sent to me by a guy who I met 3 weeks ago. He lives with some of my friends in London and works for the band's record company and we spent the night getting hammered.
This lone kind considerate act has made me so flattered and flustered. It's odd, I'm normally the one who tries to give, so to received is a strange new experience.

Last Thursday, I had dinner with 19 bulti-billionaires. All whom could have donated £1000 each to the "Pipsywoo Charity Fund" and not even notice it missing. I mean, one of them owns an island, a fucking island!!!
After dinner, we went back to the hotel bar for some drinks. I was talking to the younger of the group and he was asking me if Tiffany earrings would be an adequate Christmas present for a new girlfriend. I said yes (well duh!) but asked if it was not a little cliche. He said he didn't think so but wanted a female's perspective, he said he was also treating her to a weekend in Paris and some other little items.
I said it all sounded charming but personally I'd rather my favourite chocolate bar and a thoughtful personal message or something like that, which then made me sound like I was basically calling him unthoughtful. It just went from wronger to worse and I ended up apologising for being small time and countryfied.
But seriously, if he buys all this for their first Christmas together, what on earth is he going to get her next Christmas or for her birthday?

Had a thought the other day. I'm guessing Lady GaGa must spend her entire free time at the beauticians getting her bikini line waxed.

Late Monday night our kitchen sink blocked. Come Tuesday evening, we set about sorting it out. We plunged, we tried pipe unblockers, we poked things down it but to no avail.
After waiting 30 minutes for the industrial sink unblocker to budge the blockage and it still not working, I took to taking the pipes apart. One twist of the U bend and the water gushed horizontally everywhere. One bucket in hand catching very little water, unable to fetch another I had one option, hurry the hell up with undoing the pipe, all the while Dave and Sheri were running around looking for vessels and cloths.
Two buckets later, the sink is emptied and cleaner than I'd ever seen it. I smell like stagnant water and the cupboards and kitchen floor are sodden! On the upside the pipe is clear of said blockage. Sheri assists with the clearing up and my skin is burning due to all of the drain unblocker.
One sink unblocked, one indoor swimming pool created and one smelly being off to wash and change outfits.
I think my major mistake was not putting the plug in the sink, while undoing the pipe. It would have probably made our new swimming pool, more of a paddling pool.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

New Housie Required

I need a new housemate, sorry, we need a new housemate.
When searching for a new housie, a lot of things have to be researched, it's hard.
Firstly, you all have to get along with the person, it's better for it to be someone you know of or occasionally see but aren't good good friends with, as most good friendships can be broken by the simplicity of living together.
Secondly, they have to be respectable people but you can't tell this until they've lived with you for a short while, by which point it's too late and you can't kick them out.
Thirdly, all the shit that comes afterwards is just learning curves but we will find someone, I'm sure we will. At least this time round, it's about the time people are looking for new digs, instead of over Christmas.

Whatever, it's all about selling yourself and justifying how your choice in home.

I've posted a little advert in my status on Facebook. I've been rather straight forward and quirky:
New Housie required. £300 a month, plus bills for a charming single bedroom in one of the greatest houses in East Oxford. Fabulous Roomies and a rather fantastic location. Available from November 5th. All enquires contact: Me, Mr Food aka Dave Chicken, The Aussie aka Nina or Chips Mahomeo aka Tom Reynolds! See I told you we were fun!

What I'd love to write is more of an essay but totally impractical and probably far too honest:
One single room near to the Cowley Road, with storage on the landing. £300 a month with bills exclusive. Privately rented direct from Landlord, who is rather marvellous, he's great!
Morning sunlight to wake you from slumber, with the calming sound of the whale song.
Kitchen/sitting room in one, no more requirement to open doors between rooms, we've the uni-room. We're also expecting a new set of kitchen cabinets to be fitted soon - how swanky can we get?
Washing machine, fridges and even a cooker - how far out are we?! No microwave though, as we are protecting you against crazy cancer causing rays, which will rot your brain. Quaint raised garden with washing line for your every drying desires.
Internet available with digital TV for your personal entertainment, as long as you like bad American reality TV or shit shows about vampires. Wrestling and Hollyoaks fan appreciated.
If all else fails, you'll get a private DVD hire from me, as long as you respect them and return when necessary, what more could you want than a free DVD hire and occasional late fees!
Bathroom to be shared with two ladies and it's newly tiled for easy slip sliding.
Ironing board and iron available to flatten out all of the creases in your life. If you've no idea how to clean, I can always teach you. We enjoy recycling and by that I mean, I supply all of the necessary items to do so effortlessly and easily, with the weekly complaint from me about getting it wrong, this is for your entertainment also.
We are a smoking household but could keep it to our bedrooms if need be. Friends of Gary, are friends of ours.
If you're lucky, you'll inevitably end up on the Wall of Fame - Come and live with us!
P.S. I'm the uncoolest member of my house so it you find this funny, you probably don't fit in. Bad luck! Although, I totally think you're grand!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Uncle Buck

I finally got the new tyres for my car today, which now makes me 100% street legal. £85 later and I now have a lighter car to drive, it's more responsive and feels like it drives much easier, which is all pretty cool. Who'd have thought two new tyres would change so much.

I've been getting my knit on to a dramatic effect lately. I've been going to sleep with achy hands and waking craving the desire to knit, knit away. I've also spent far too much time in the local wool shop and if I can't knit it, sew it, melt and mould it or paint it, my friends and family won't be getting it for Christmas. When you make everything for your Christmas presents, it means you have to get extremely organised. I've so far made numerous scarves and one hat.

Talking of melting and moulding, I've been asked if I'd like to have a stall at the weekly farmers market off Cowley Road, I never even knew it existed. I'm now in the world of buying Charity Shop cups and saucers and making them in to candles, I'm so very excited at the prospect of it all. I'm thinking about making some brooches for it also.

I'm off work this week, both of them and so far it feels like I've not had a holiday at all. It just feels like a weekend. I aimed to not book myself up or offer my time to others, but I appear to have failed without meaning too. It's all cool though, I've a couple of evenings free and also a dinner with my boss and 20 other middle aged men who will have been playing golf all day. Last years golf dinner was a lot of fun, I'm hoping this years will be better; better food, better drink and more cheer. Just need to memorise a couple of horrendously dirty jokes and I'm quids in!

I had loads of funny anicdotes and stories but they all ran out of my head as soon as I started the computer, nevermind, they'll return one day.

The weekend before last, while talking with a friend I discovered she had never seen Uncle Buck, god knows how?! I guess she's been living under a rock, she is from Nottingham, so this is possible. I will be rectifying this asap, do not worry!

Also, the other night, Sheri and I had a random girly night in and ended up watching a chick flim, we chose "Confessions of a Shopaholic", now I've issues with it due to to loving the books but chose to watch it as though the books had never existed. It's watchable and has it's moments. Joan Cusack and John Goodmen plays Isla Fisher's parents and they are great in this role, very entertaining to watch. The funniest moment was as the credits rolled, which probably sums up the film pretty well for you.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Sequins on Bedding, Nice!

I happened to be in Debenham's home department the other day. I was looking at bedding and I came across Kylie's home range. Her bedding range comes with sequins, yep, I said sequins.
My original thought was "sequins on a duvet, how uncomfortable and itchy and impractical" and then I found out that there was a sequin trim on the pillow cases too?! What the ?!
Who would think that sequins on a pillow would be comfortable? Plus, have you ever tried to wash sequins? They generally loose their colouring and the stitching fails miserably after a couple of washes. You have to handwash and as most of us know, you have to boil wash your bedding after a week or two, due to it's soiled useage (this term makes me chuckle).
I've just no idea what she was thinking or should I say her design team was thinking...

I love seeing people walking while reading, it always makes me smile. It's up there with seeing men who are rubbish at laundry, there was a chap in the lunch queue in front of me earlier, who had shrunk his jumper in the wash, or at least it looked like it, so sweet.

Saturday night, my friends, 22-20s, performed live for the first time in 4 years. They've been in the studio recording new songs over the last months or so and it was truly great finally seeing them perform live. They were amazing. I was so nervous before hand on their behalf but they were absolutely brilliant, even though there was some technical faults.
We all ended up heading back to the studio to drink and be merry. 6.30am bed time, woo!
Although Dan did expose me to this, utter fabulousness!

All 14 episodes are up and apparently, it's great! I love that they opened with One Vision. Oh so good!!!

Dead Snow is awesome!!! I finally got to watch it on Sunday and haven't shut up about it since. Watch it!!!

Saw this online and was thinking that I may well have to get something similar sprayed on mine.

Glitz Up Your Crabs

I'm currently watching a TV show about Surrogate mothers and it is very odd. The surrogate mothers seem to know what it's all about, as they either have children or have been through it before but the new mothers are mental. I guess they are full of fear, worry, emotions, etc. I guess it must be an extremely hard situation to be in, impossibly hard. It's an extremely odd TV show. The people you assume you'd sympathise with, aren't the ones you care for.
I think the hardest thing is to work out, why the surrogates do it? Is it to fill a hole they feel from within or are they 100% level headed and emotionally stable and wanted to give people the gift they've longed for for the longest time.

I often read Postsecrets, recently I've found one of my all time favourite cards. It's what I'm personally looking for. I always state when people ask me why I'm single "That I haven't found anyone who doesn't make me want to smother them in their sleep", which isn't far off the mark. No matter what people tell me, he's out there somewhere, he's just lost and refusing to ask for directions, like a typical bloke.

While on my weekly trawl through Jezebel I always stop to read Toddlers & Tiaras, it's your typical garish tv show about crazy women forcing their poor children to dress up like Vegas showgirls to perform bizarre routines.
But it's better than all of the ones you've seen before, except maybe Painted Babies from the mid 90s, which was pretty good. I just love the Jezebel ladies comments and also the little .gif files.
The image on the left is a screen grab from one of the shows, it just makes me chuckle so so much! I'm off, I've got to glitz up my crabs!

I finally received my copy of 'Dead Snow' and I've had no chance to see it! I had a 20 minute window to watch it since buying it but it was at 2am and I had work the next morning, plus zombie nazi's at 2am just before sleep, I don't think so! Oh tomorrow, why won't you come sooner.

Apparently 4000 people are on death row in America? They need to get Pierrepoint over there, he'd sort it out and save them loads of money...although he's dead, so maybe Timothy Spall should go on his behalf. He seemed to sort out the Belsen 11 rather quickly.

I'm not going to leave you with Nazis and death row, that would be horrendously cruel, instead I'm leaving you with Elton John "hell yeah!".