Thursday, April 21, 2011

Suicide by Rock n Roll

David Bowie - Rock n Roll Suicide

Every time I hear this song, I see it used in a film, where the main loveable character sings it at karaoke and looses their head by the end of the film. Here's hoping that one day, Hollywood reads my blog!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Get a Handle Pipsywoo

I'm currently hoping someone will employ me to be their assistant in London. Tom and I are heading that way in June. I'm overly excited, a little anxious and generally pissed off, but I'm only pissed off right now, in 30 minutes I'll be fine.

The reason I'm peed off is: I've signed up with a creative industry agency in London, whom everyone recommended. They seem extremely professional and nice. The lady who called me was so, so lovely and she organised me an interview at their offices on Monday, when Tom and I are hoping to get irritated and pissed off at the lack of flats in our chosen area.

To save time, they've sent me through an online prove it test, to ensure that I can use a computer (mainly, I think it's to prove I've at least a whole brain and can switch a computer on), I tried to take the test the evening I got it, but I decided I'd drink beer and watch bad TV instead, as I got nervous. Then I thought about it last night but I watched a sad film and cried instead. Today, I finally bit the bullet and I found that my Mac isn't eligible for the programme required, luckily my work Mac has a PC on it too, I'm still unsure why?!

I got it running and had a go. I thought I'd try Excel first, as I can use it to a relatively competent level, although my main usage for it is to make guest lists, calendars and touring budgets, nothing more exciting, like pie charts but maybe one day. I fucked up the test big and royally! Firstly, the user system she sent over was PC based Office 2007 (I knew it would be but I didn't realise how different it is to Mac's Office setup). We use Mac based Office 2011, and were on 2010 until a month a go (this transition alone took me two weeks to master). I spent most of the test trying to find where everything was and then I fucked it anyway, as I didn't realise that the first few questions were actually supposed to change things, instead of you click on the correct area, get no response and then move on. I'm a dick, I've never done one of these tests before, I only wrote my first CV, ever, last month.
I'm guessing I've got about 50% right, when in fact it should be at least 90%.

Secondly, after nerves and annoyance, I settled for a typing test but I freaked and started looking at what I was writing, instead of what I was supposed to be writing, then my hands started to shake so I kept on hitting the wrong keys and then, bang, just like that, the test was over. I got about two paragraphs just finished, if that, and they were tiny paragraphs.

I've got left Word (I feel mildly confident but am crapping my pants, due to feeling relatively confident about Excel. I'll end up searching for the right list, option, key, etc for most of it, again) and Powerpoint (which I've already explained I've never used, so that could be fun?!).

The thing is, I don't want to blame it on the different user faces, as that is bollocks and I've got to remember that most office in London use PC's. I've got to reacclimatise to the grey, non-sensicle, awkward world that is Microsoft. Whether I like it or not. Which won't be that hard, it's only been 10 years since I was using one actively. But I'm a quick learner and once I'm dealing with a PC everyday, I'll pick it up in no time, no time at all but throwing myself into a test which is wholly PC based and having never seen Excel or Word in PC Office 2007 format before, has made me feel crappy about the whole thing.

I just pray to god that my interviewer likes me, otherwise I'm screwed!

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Man V. Food

I exposed my housemate to this TV show at the weekend, and she loved it. It's perfect weekend TV and it never fails to make me hungry!
I think he's great, what could be better than watching a guy devour shit loads of food?! Yum!
Some people wonder why you'd want to watch a guy eat copious amounts of food, my question is "why wouldn't you?", it's a feat of human accomplishment, I stupid accomplishment but one, none the less! I could never do it and why isn't he the size of the house?!
I wonder how often he films the epic eating? I'm assuming one a week, maybe?! One a day in a row would be crazy talk!

Just watch him eat 5 Fat sandwiches, god I'm starving now!

Friday, April 01, 2011

Gertrude Jeannette

What an awesome woman Gertrude is!

And I'm loving the tagline on the right "Woman: I had no clue my lover's dead granny was in the bedroom closet", it's so Jerry Springer! I can almost imagine Jerry saying "And here is the ex-lover's dead granny to have her say..".