Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Taking a time out

Life is such a funny thing. I find it so easy to get wrapped up in my life, that I get annoyed and fed up by the simplest of things, like the below post - pointless and futile but still the instant reaction is at least true, real and nothing more.

When these moments happen, I get to a point when I get so self involved, I start to fret about the most stupid of things, about people and their perceptions of me, worrying about the state of cupboards or obsessing about that noise in my car, which I swear wasn't there before - very selfish, stupid little things which get in your brain and start to whirl like the waltzers.
Once I reach this height, somehow something takes hold of me and I stop the ride and get off, this is easier said than done, after getting so wound up and in a state, it's hard to stop thinking in the manner I did before, but for sanities state I have to learn. If only I could realise I was in the state before it gets really bad, now that would be a trick.

This can be done in many ways: having a long hard talk to yourself (mine always end in conflict).
Walking about observing the smallest, most minute things, like blades of grass and realising how incredible and beautiful this world is (does work well but when you're in such a state, this is a long process of constant relapses).
But I find that reading one of Paulo Coelho's books normally does the trick. A lot of his books are based on faith in God and the bigger picture, etc. I believe in the bigger picture but am always unsure about the God issue. I was raised as a Catholic and I think religion is a good idea to a point, because it's given people a guide to trying to be a better person. I also think it's bad, (one example, not all) as there are to many people who take what it says literally (no pinch of salt required) and there should always be a pinch of salt, it's also in some retrospects rather dated.

But regardless of that, Mr Coelho's books always make me feel that my worrying and chaos in my head is so pointless, life will continue after I'm gone, so as long as I try to life it the best I can, be good to others, repent the bad and try and spend as much time enjoying it, what's to worry about. Things will happen without my influence and sometimes with it, so let it get on with it and I shall get on with having fun and trying to make sure my friends and family do also.

So I thank Paulo for always pulling me out of my self-obsessed moods of hepped up craziness.

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