Friday, October 27, 2006

Knick Knack Paddy Whack

I actually don't really have much to say, I just wanted to name a blog by the above title.

Once again, the only brain sick I truly has involves people who can't park to save their lives. When entering a car park, you should be given two options: Car Park or Car Abandonment.
To enter Car Park, you should have previously passed numerous car parking exercises and been given a gold star and a little certificate to say that your allowed to park there.
For Car Abandonment, you should be allowed in if you never passed the Car Parking Test, or if you passed but have had 3 suits brought against you at the Car Parking Retrieval of Certificate Centre, in which photos were taken of your bad parking and a little trial goes ahead to work out whether you deserve to have the certificate or not. Or if your just a shit parker!
I've had to endure my fair share of car abandonment of late, one being the only space left in the car park, my car being pathetically small in size and therefore being able to squeeze between these two abandoned cars, but only realising once in that I had minus centimetres to exit my vehicle. When returning from work most nights, I am continuously finding spaces that even smart cars would find challenging, now I know that a lot of the spaces on my street are from where the hard earning population leave their homes to fill their bank accounts and then return to find a car has moved all of nowhere and have to park around it, but for some reason, over a week a car won't move (normally a students from where they only ever use them to drive to Oxford to drop all their stuff from Mummy and Daddy's off and then normally home again at the end of term and occasionally to Tesco' to pick up the alcohol stock or to Penelope's for this awesome house party, as her parents are away but for the other 50 million hours a year, it will hardly move), taking up precious space and then you'll get a complete twat you can't park to safe their life who insists of parking 5 foot away from the car in front and then will leave it their for a week....So yes I vote for two styles of parking one side of each street should be this also...depending on what percentage of the street passed the tests and which didn't. I shouldn't be punished because some people are fucking hopeless at manoeuvring a vehicle, they insist of keeping and rarely use, should I? I use mine, a lot...and there for am killing the planet but earning the right for 2 styles of car parks!
Or maybe it should be that everyone has to take parking tests each year, while your cars in for an MOT, we'll also test your parking ability...

Now names and titles will be changed to be more memorable and easy to say, as this is an idea and ideas are the starting block to the future things of marvel!

1 comment:

Peter said...

Word to the Pippa.

I have a simple solution to your brain sick. Following your recent moval, surely you can afford to cycle to work?

Failing that, maybe print flyers to put under screen-wipers saying: "your parking is shit, f*ck off"?