A short conversation

Rowan to me: "Do you still have those scummy old trainers?"
Me in reply: "Which ones?"

Happy Go...

The beautician who gave me a massage on Saturday kept on saying "Happy Go Larry"; I didn't have the heart to correct her but also I didn't want too, as I really liked it. I now like to think there was a massively optimistic guy which is where the saying "Happy Go Lucky" came from and he was called Larry. Maybe he lived next to Riley?!

Sir Robin Arryn

Every time Game of Thrones heads to 'The Eyrie' and the little bitch that is Sir Robin, all I see is Spleen from 'Mystery Men' walking around the screen!

 

Pregnant Emails

This week saw the greatest email from a good friend of mine arrive in my inbox, it was about her recent scan of her baby. It had me in so many stitches that I cried with laughter:

"Ok so we had the 3d scan on Saturday, which I didn’t enjoy one bit, in fact I totally disliked it, it made the baby look really odd, like an old man.  Benjamin Button came to mind!

One thing that you can tell from the piccies is that it basically looks the same as the husband, there is none of me in there at all! I would normally have to concede and admit that this was a good thing, however we have all seen the nieces that have “that” nose, I think history is repeating itself!  Oh well at least this time it will be mine and I'll be immune to how unattractive it is……….."

My only response was this:

"Firstly, please remember that all babies are generally born with the same squishy nose so you need to calm down.

Secondly, it/they/he/she will be the most beautiful baby to ever exist, or at least that is what you will both think and we will all agree accordingly, because we will also love and adore the little blighter.

Thirdly, you are the funniest person I know. This email reduced tears in my eyes and for that you rule like a mo fo!"


Roll on every scan from here to delivery...

Tonsils Go Bye Bye

I'm very pleased to announce that my referral to ENT was a positive one and I was approved for a tonsillectomy, this is a huge relief to my good self and will bring me, hopefully, a painless future (other than the initial couple of weeks post the operation). To be honest, I'm a little apprehensive, I've never been to hospital and stayed on a ward, I've never gone under general or local anaesthetic but they are all trained specialists and they do it daily so I'm sure it will be fine.

I do feel a little sorry for the nurse who took my bloods today though, as I was hot and dehydrated and passed out on her - one moment I was telling her that my hearing had gone and the next thing I'm being carried by two men (I think they were men, there was definitely one guy involved) to the couch. As I came round, it had gone from being just me and the nurse, to us and an additional 6 people - apparently they were my fan club, I didn't realise it was so close to home, I feel rather blessed.

I know the NHS get a battering at times and of course they aren't perfect but they have always treated me right and I think they do a fine job, a difficult job but a fine one none the less.

Introducing Mr & Mrs Bent

These two lovely people got married today, it was a rather bloody lovely day all in all!

Battersea Park

I went to Battersea Park today, I recommend it whole heartily. It was very pretty, has a large pond, children's play area, water fountains, band stand, yadda yadda yadda, you get the drift but seriously it is a pretty cool park, if you ignore all the idiots on the hire bikes...

I tried to take a multiple of one photo using the iPhones panaromic setting but it kind of failing, resulting in Rowan being normal to one armed to fatter to half a person.

When it works, it's awesome, when it fails, it's entertaining!

The Gower

Over Easter weekend, Rowan dragged me kicking and screaming to his homeland of The Gower Peninsula, Wales. I got to meet his Mother also, the big 'Meet and Greet', luckily his Mum is bloody lovely, as is her dog, Phoebe, who constantly wees on Rowan, much to my delight!

We had a very nice chilled evening on the Friday night hanging with Sue and Phoebe. I unfortunately wasn't able to get a photo of Phoebe, but she does this adorable pose which makes it look like she's smiling - I will get a photo next time, without fail!

Saturday saw us heading out to Tenby, we got rather near it and hit loads of traffic, just at this time Rowan's friend "Jim Tones" suggested we park at Saundersfoot and walk along the coastal path for 20 minutes to Tenby...so off we set. 20 minutes into the coastal path we realised something wasn't quite right and carried on, 40 minutes later we met some other walkers who asked us about the length of time to Saundersfoot, we had to let them down that it was about 45 minutes, they broke the news that it was another hour to Tenby.

Halfway to Tenby

Castle Sands, Tenby

One hour later we finally reach beautiful Tenby and it is really very nice...I highly recommend a day trip to the pretty sea side town. We purchased some Rock, ate some delicious Mussels, walked along the Castle Sands, looked at Caldey Island. I was ill prepared and not wearing enough layers, so due to the wind being fierce I requested that we didn't climb St Catherine's Fort at least this will leave us with something to do next time. Rowan bought some Caldey Island chocolate: made by Monks don't you know.

We headed back to Gorseinon and went to join "Jim Tones" for a Cider/Ale Festival on Wine St, Swansea. I'd heard a lot about Wine St but due to it being a Bank Holiday weekend, Wine St was pretty quiet and no fights were witnessed, much to my relief - no valley boys, kebabs, fights, etc!

Sunday witnessed us heading out to the Gower to see the life of Rowan's younger years. It's extremely pretty, I was shown a Giant's grave, a man made lake, a huge hill, the view (below), a trip down to Three Cliffs Bay and in through the valley past Pennard Castle.

Mumbles Pier in the distance

Three Cliffs Bay

Pennard Castle from a distance

That evening saw our trip end with a rather heavier than I had expected trip to the pub to meet the infamous Sam & Jess, our walk to the pub included this pretty little dance from Rowan along the way...

Babies Babies Everywhere...

Everyone I know is having a baby, therefore I've spent the last month or two crocheting away in baby blanket world...here are a couple of them that I have completed/started:

Above is one which I completed with a scallop edge for Rowan's sister, who is due in June.

Below is one which I've started in a rainbow effect for one of my best friends who is due in August.

I've also spent three days cutting up all of my remnants into quilting squares; I now have a large tin of quilting squares that I shall make an oval quilt for her new crib. I'm all rather excited all in all. Roll on more babies.

Such Views of London

Rowan was asked to house sit in Swiss Cottage on the 21st floor in a high rise for a week, I of course accompanied him and boy am I glad I did. Not only was it a lovely home, the views were spectacular!

Krakow, Poland

Over the weekend I went to Krakow on a hen do, it was a rather fun weekend all in all and I'm now basically fluent in Polish, it's a pretty easy language to pick up...if you ask me. I'm unable to report anything here, so I'll leave you all with a little innocent short montage of Krakow...

The Hen and her sister have a heart to heart

The hardcore doers party on...

Even the bottle corks are happy in Poland!

Dover

Rowan and I needed a reason to get out of London (well who doesn't!) so we had a random thought to head to Kent, I'd never been and he wanted to see the White Cliffs of Dover, so it was settled that we would head to Dover. One high speed train and one episode of Game of Thrones and we arrived.

After a little walk around, Rowan acquired a new film camera from one of the charity shops (£4 well spent), we headed to our B&B (Hubert House) to book in, the B&B didn't open until 4pm so we headed to The White Horse next door. The White Horse is a rather adorable little pub which is covered with swimmers names and times from swimming the Channel. We eventually checked in and set off for our walk along the cliffs...

Rowan and I had set a challenge to take the most dull photo possible, the photo has to be a decent shot but boring as hell. My dull photos are mostly on the camera film (which is yet to be developed) but some of my boring images are below...

I feel that they are perfectly dull and appropriate for our competition. I'm very much looking forward to the film being processed, it's unfortunate that the film is Black and White, as that always makes things slightly more interesting, damn it! Have a fence and horizon to boot!

We took a nice long walk over the cliffs to St Margaret's Bay, where we enjoyed a pint to reward ourselves. We then headed in to St Margaret's on Cliffe to find some food and an eventual taxi home. 

We ended spending too much time talking to the regulars and nearly got locked out of our B&B, luckily we made it back just in time and folded ourselves in for a restful night slightly drunk.

The next day we woke early ate breakfast and then headed back to bed, well it is Sunday afterall. Eventually we had to leave, which sucked as it was all rather nice tucked up with a warm breeze coming through the window and ventured out into the real world, we opted for Dover Castle and some tea drinking.

I can not recommend Dover Castle enough, there was plenty to look at and do, excluding the War Tunnels and Hospital Wards, which were also extremely interesting. English Heritage has renovated the castle to be similar to how it was at the height of its hey day, the roof is also open for you to enjoy the vast views of the horizon. We ended up spending 4-5 hours there all in all and as we left, I signed us up to English Heritage as members, this of course needed to be celebrated by telling my parents; who promptly ignored my text message.

Shortly after we finished there, we headed back to London; one day we'll get to spend our hours exploring and doing no work, one day...

Scottish Céilidh

I had a random invite to some Scottish Céilidh, which was obviously something that I was going to attend, therefore this evening I found myself in Whitechapel surrounded by trainee Doctors dancing to a live Scottish band.

It was an experience, that is for sure, who knew so much energy would be required to run and swing...I'm pretty sure that it was created due to it being so cold up north and they needed to keep warm at all times!

Below is an action pack shot of some Céilidh in action...

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I'm going to see 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' this evening with the Boyo and am very excited!!! Eek!

I've loved Wes Anderson, since I first watched 'The Royal Tenenbaums' and was extremely excited when I heard he was making 'The Grand Budapest Hotel'. Roll 8:30 pm this evening...

I'm unable to embed the video, so watch the trailer, it's worth it!

Languages

I was sat on the bus the other morning listening to some Polish men talk and I started to think that I'd like the capacity to understand all spoken languages, then I though 'well, if I can understand them, why not wish to be able to speak them also?!' which is completely understandable, if you ask me.

But then I thought 'if you hosted the ability to understand and speak all of the languages in the world, how long would it take to scan your brain to identify which language were being spoken?', therefore I decided that possibly being able to talk and understand a select few would make more sense, although how would you judge which ones? Bearing in mind that during the 90s, I would have chosen French, German, Spanish and Italian. I'd never have guessed that Russian, Mandarin and Polish would become more relevant. Therefore, if we were having wishes granted, would it make more sense that you can review and add accordingly every few years?!

And now I'm completely lost, but I guess there is no fear, as granted wishes don't exist and it would take me forever to learn one language, let alone numerous ones - this is based on my inability to speak French, after five years of studying of course.

However, dreams are very nice things...

Quentin Shih

First Date Review

My date on Friday was pretty bloody great! I was full of nerves when I left work, I'm not generally a nervous person, so that was irritating. I arrived at Seven Sisters station and then stacked it on the escalator, spilling the contents of my bag up them (I nearly lost my mega sexy M&S granny pants also, luckily they stayed put in my broken bag), for some reason this stupid accident made me feel much better and all my nerves evaporated.

I ended up running five minutes late and received a text from 'Spazzy Jeff' (username only) saying that he was there and by the condiments, in my typical fantasy world, I assumed that meant the pub was set out in the style of a shop (yep, because that makes complete sense?! I really do wonder about myself at times). My main worry was how do you greet a stranger who you've been talking to, luckily he had this all in hand and that instantly made me feel better. Although, the first thing I did after meeting him was go to the lavatory, when I came out I asked him "did you get worried that I'd climb out the lavatory window?", way to make a guy feel comfortable...I obviously know all of the best tricks.

It was all rather easy, after the initial awkward chit chat and first couple of drinks. He picked a pretty good pub, the 6 nations were showing, funnily enough it was his team, Wales, who were playing, what are the chances?! It was a good game and half way through he planted me with a big old smacker. In typical verbal diarrhoea fashion, post kiss I blurted out 'I thought you'd be a soft touch and not kiss me for ages'. After this it was rather plain sailing...we even discussed the 1001 things not to mention on a first date, always a good sign that you're on a similar wavelength.

We had a few more drinks, SP suggested we moved on, I got us off at the wrong bus stop and we walked around the back of Farringdon/Angel for a while (this didn't seem to bother him, which I liked, although he might have been playing it very cool and was fuming inside, if so, he is a very good actor). We finally found the road we were looking for and popped into a pub (that I've walked past numerous times and never visited) and had a proper banter session, I won't say about what, it was extremely crude and very funny.

After this, we went to a late bar and had some more banter, conversations and drinks. SP suggested that we head to where he originally wanted to take me (before I got us lost) and I suggested that due to it being rather late, we could walk around the city, which we did. We ended up south of the river and I wanted to know everything he's ever thought and felt. Needless to say that our date turned into brunch. I know, you're not supposed to emerge yourself in someone so quickly but we just seemed to click and I didn't want to go home.


We had a second date on Sunday evening in Greenwich, I got to see some of Greenwich, as I got off at the wrong stop, doh! and I also got to see the Cutty Sark, it's only taken me nearly three years to get anywhere near both places.

SP took me to Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich. It was a fantastic evening, with some brilliant comedians. The highlights were the compare, who was rather quick witted. The first guy who was from Granada and was upset that Granada isn't known for anything cool, just Nutmeg; he wants to become the Nutmeg King. This was very funny and I'm explaining it abominably! A girl who's act was a hyper chatty hairdresser and a vegan comedian who said that all phrases were generally biased against all vegans, as most of them are about harming animals, leaving vegans with only "You can't make an Omelette!".

All in all, a blinding weekend.

Random Almond

There was a huge almond on the seat next to me tonight, it was mammoth. I wondered if someone was afraid to eat it due to its size and left it behind. They didn’t even leave a note – the poor thing. It was suggested to me that I should have taken it home to plant…I don’t think Hackney council would be happy with that. But what if it was a bean (disguised as an almond) and now I’ll never get to climb the stalk to the castle?! Although this is probably a good thing, as I’m afraid of heights and have poor upper body strength.

You win some, you lose some!

First Date Fear

I have had the arduous task of reformatting a spreadsheet of over 2000 entries over the last few weeks at work. I've been listening to the eight hour biography of Johnny Cash while doing this, it's been good company, other than the first 20 minutes which spoke of June Carter's death, which caused my eyes to flood, which meant I was unable to see the screen properly to format correctly - curse you, you silly real life story and my achilles heel of crying as soon as death is mentioned, grr!

It ended today with Johnny's sad demise and death, this also caused numerous tears, god damn I am weak! Yep, more tears were shed! I remember the first time I heard 'American Recording IV', I'd been at Courtyard for a few years and we'd received it from Island Def Jam through the post. Bryce and I went up to the living room for some time out and upon first listening, as soon as Johnny opened with 'Bridge over trouble water', Bryce and I had had our fill. Who knew that a few months later, we'd be playing it on repeat?! Hence the classic, "don't judge a book by it's cover" and "don't let first impressions cloud your judgement", which are both so much easier said than done...

This entire tedious intro leads me to my main purpose for writing this evening...I'm filled with a mix of emotions, most are exciting and crazy immature balls of energy, but others are nervous bubbles of gas, which could and most probably will burst out of me at the wrong time, causing some strange noises to occur from my mouth...arhjbgbiejgn riogkregnegm! For an example!

I have my first proper date tomorrow evening. It's the first since, oh God knows?! Umm, 2009? Possibly Summer 2009. OK so it's not extra long ago, but it's long enough to have forgotten and therefore be filled with dread about a first date. All I can remember is how awful all of my previous first dates have been, I keep on trying to remind myself that it's just drinks with a future friend/future stranger, but then the excitement bubbles and all turns to shit. The main reason for my fear is that, and I know I shouldn't and deep down I don't but I feel that possibly I should do so, I'm listening to other people's fears. FOOL! I know, I know! I try my best to ignore them, I always have, ever since some bitch told me at the age of 11 that I'd forgotten to put something on, in the changing rooms and I retorted "What? My bra? Why would I wear one, when I've nothing to hold in place?!", she then exclaimed loudly that I was obviously a freak - I think we all know who was the real freak!

I've done my best to be me via messages and I feel that we have good rapport, or possible good rapport but those with weak dispositions have started to imply that his banter may not be as good and as lively as mine in person and therefore the date could be frightful. I stifled the concern for long enough but I've now allowed it to consume me....follow that with random 'far too comfortable' texts from me about 'coats made of the skin from my previous dating website counterparts' and 'dead family hunting trophies' and I think if he does turn up, he may be clinically insane. Fuck!

Damn you insecure, extra weary, lovely but foolish people who I love! Damn you all! Why couldn't I just carry on living in my mad, wonderfully Disney world where we wacky people find our own kin through the strangest of circumstances and just get on.

Maybe, he is, as I keep on reaffirming to myself and others, a casual guy who doesn't sit on his phone and is that laid back (unlike a certain person I know, where you would have thought his phone was an extra limb of his) and he just responds when he sees it, rather than waiting and instantly texting back. Therefore he is banterous and a good time, it just appears rather staggered through the medium of text. Yes, this is my sunny disposition clinging to hope and god damn, I'm going to cling to that fine fine strand.

I guess, the worst thing is that within 24 hours, I will know and what will I have lost?! An evening where I would have been sat at home, instead I'll be sat in the pub with a stranger. This is as bad as it can get and that is what I need to remember. No date will ever be as bad as sitting in 'The Duke' in Oxford on a Sunday afternoon stuck talking to a perfectly pleasant but dull middle age man about the same topics of conversation which we had covered the day before and this is what I need to remember. I've already talked to the most boring people I've ever met. Nothing that this guy says or does will be as random as I've seen or heard before, unless he takes off his sock and sucks his toes in the pub, that would be pretty random...and if he is just actually that boring, then I've a new story to tell to current and future friends.

Yes, I may be tempting fate but fate, I tempt you. You've always been rather kind to me, so I implore to you, please be kind once again. Until this time tomorrow, Adieu!

In the mean time, have a little cry to Johnny's last video:

Dear Old Granny, Died 15th January 2013, Mounted 15th March 2013

Rudi, my office's Roe Deer

This morning, I was thinking about the mounting of dead animals on walls as trophies, which is a rather odd thing to do. I was then thinking about whether you could do a similar thing with human skin, as we do with animal hides bearing in mind they are both living organisms, therefore being able to do it with one and not the other seems rather odd. This led me to think about Gunther von Hagens (aptly nicknamed Dr. Frankenstein) and how he’s developed the art of preserving human tissue by plastination. Therefore, one day, mounting your dear old granny on the wall could be a possibility.

 

Although, the main difference between mounting an animal hide and a human would vary, due to the fact that creating the mould for animals is relatively simple, as even if it’s not exact it still looks like an animal. Even really bad taxidermy has it’s charm...even if they don’t look exactly like the original animals (I’m finding it hard to stifle the laughter and keeping a straight face as I type)?!. 




The perfect Coat Stand?

How hard would it be to make the mould for dear old granny, bearing in mind that every face has a 1000+ different feaures and points which make them so individual and if we did start to mount family members on the wall, would there be a heriarchy of good to bad taxidermy and would poorer families accept piss poor versions of their dearly departed?! Or could we get them posed and they could become handy items of furniture around the house?

Also, would the mould need to have a softness about it, or due to the plastination would it be hard and would this also detract from the initial facial features, etc.?

Maybe I need to write to Gunther...I think answers are required.

Tangent Time: I went to see Body Works when it was in Brick Lane years ago with my Mum and once I had gotten over the initial shock of it (which was set off by one of the slices of human having a tattoo, which brought back the fact that they once had reletives, lives, thought and movement), I found it fascinating and wanted to go back around again. I definitely recommend it to all who are mildly interested in biology and the human body.