The love of a Jackass

Ok, ok, so I know that the guy I'm going to link too is a complete and utter arse!
He's a egotistical, big headed, nasty, horrid little man but I think I'm in love with him.

Most of his stories start with:
Stage 1: a repulsive air, full of big headed, attention grabbing bullshit, with the occasional hysterical and also, horrendous one liners which floor people with such disbelief, it's pretty incredible.
Stage 2: he and his friends attempt to pull several "hotties", normally succeeding to a certain level but also failing to a comical standard. I've read numerous stories of his now and am amazed he's ploughed any tail at all.
Stage 3: Final admittance to failure. Continuing the party somewhere else.
Stage 4: They all end with either the "inevitable" (in his world only) puking or shitting his pants.

The guys is a genius! I don't, necessarily, condone his behaviour but also the fact that he writes most of his stories in the future, with a hindsight view. The ability to quip himself and his friends. The fact he can see that some of his past actions, weren't big or clever, are cruel but are inevitably rather funny, means that at least he's grown up some what.
But most of his one liners (once the cruel blast at unassuming passerbys have pasted and he actually applies himself), floor me! Some are old classics, some are new, quick witted and intelligence. God knows, if he actually said them there and then or added them to the story afterwards for affect but his story telling is at least entertaining, even if for all the wrong reasons.

Anyhow, I think my favourite of his stories so far, is the one about trying anal sex for the first time. Too too funny!

I guess it's time for you to decide, if you choose too. He's a dick but his stories make me cringe, feel queasy, horrified and also laugh, normally out loud.