Sunday, July 07, 2013

Stupid Life Questions...

I've spent the morning looking online to see if there are any particular jobs I'd die for, I met with the work's HR department last week and was asked that horrific question, the question that I've shied ('shied' does not look right, not at's really freaky) away from for the last 30 odd years...

"What would your perfect job be?", now this question comes in various forms, it's starts with "What do you want to be when you're older?" this is a question you get asked as a child and as a child, you have no idea what the answer to this question can behold, you've no idea what crazy, mad jobs are out in the world, you're not even aware that you don't have to work, if you don't want could collect the dole forever or win the lottery, or anything and everything else that comes with not working.

You complete primary school, go to secondary school and the first thing you get asked is "What do you want to do when you leave school?", if you choose A Levels or college, you're safe for a few more years but people will want to check in and see where you believe you're you make a random selection from a list of possible jobs and start working towards it. You finish further education and then you consider university or the "real world", I applied for university and then chose the "real world".

Since entering the "real world" I've held various jobs and the only thing I come back to, when people ask me "what do you want to do with your life?", the only answer I have, to all questions with a similar nature to this, is "To be happy". I'm 31 and I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I never have.  When I was a child, I wanted to be a Policewoman (until Martella got shot in The Bill), as a teenager I wanted to be an Architect but I found out that the training was long and you generally ended up not designing buildings at all. At college I studied towards Stage Design but then I didn't go to university, as I wanted to earn money instead. I worked for Waitrose for a short time and then got a most excellent job, where I was an Assistant/Office Manager.

I'm a people pleaser, I like to make people happy, when people are happy, I'm happy. Therefore being an assistant is rather perfect for me. Since moving to London, I've become a Team Assistant, where I've had the chance to co-ordinate and manage events and dabble in archiving, among other things. Both of these things I've loved. I adore history, therefore dabbling within the archives has kept myself extremely content. Hosting and co-ordinating events works well for me, as I've spent most of my life surrounded by events and being a part of them, hence my finding it all so easy and during events, I get to see people enjoy themselves, which makes me happy.

But now, that could all change and once again, I still don't know the answer to that bloody question...

Maybe I never will?!

Maybe I've already done what I want and haven't realised?!

Maybe I'll be happy regardless what I do, due to my naturally happy disposition?!

Maybe, I need to leave the country and find myself with no ties what so ever, so I can work out the answer to this question and to all of life's other bullshit questions?!

Maybe, there is no right or wrong answer?!

All I know, is that up until a month ago, I loved my job, I loved the company I worked for and I was extremely happy, but these things are sent to try us, test us and make us question everything, anything and nothing...

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