A conversation with a disgruntled 70 year old man, otherwise known as my Dad

This is a snipet of the typical telephone conversation I have with my Dad -

Me: Hi Dad.

Dad: Oh hi.

Me: I’m coming home this weekend!

Dad: Are you, why?

Me: It’s Grandma’s birthday.

Dad: Is it?

Me: Yes, it’s been her birthday on November 3^rd since her birth, in the 20s.

Dad: Well no one tells me these things?! (this is his own mother, we are talking about, bloody men!).

Me: I think we’re going to hers and eating Fish and Chips.

Dad: Oh joy!

Me: I was calling to talk to Mum about logisitics.

Dad: I’ve no idea where she is.

Me: Oh right.

Dad: It’s not like we make plans and she then buggers off and does her own thing.

Me: Ok, well I might come home on Friday, you can tell me all about it then?!

Dad: Will you want picking up from the station?

Me: Possibly, will that be a pain?

Dad: Depends. How about you call when your mother is at home?

Me: I didn’t realise she wasn’t when I initially rang, it’s not as though she has a gps and I’ve got a tracking system?!

Dad: Well she’s not here.

Me: Ok, love you.

Dad: Bye.