Wedding Planning Pt.10

Below are the fascinators I made for my bridesmaids and myself to wear on the big day. I had hoped to commission them from a professional but it didn't work out. They ended up costing me financially a quarter of the commissioned pieces, however a lot of time, love and care was invested. I hate to blow my own trumpet but I think they look smashing; and I even managed to make a second one for myself.















Images all courtesy of Rowan Morgan

Wedding Planning Pt.7

Image courtesy of the internet

Wedding Guests, wedding guests are a strange breed. When Ro and I originally wrote our guest list, about eight months ago, we double checked it and felt that other than a couple of mates who live abroad, travel extensively for work, etc., that we wouldn't have many cancellations. How foolish we were!

Due to the nature of the wedding (two nights away) we had to invite people in two tiers, it was a small nightmare trying to get people to commit, but it pretty much worked out, with 90% agreeing to stay on site. We have since filled the remaining 10%, just about, however...we had two friends who were unsure financially and unable to say whether they would definitely stay. At times we both got a little fraught about the matter, but we were adamant that we hold out. Just before Christmas they said they hoped to pay in the New Year, we understood and were grateful for the update.

Come the New Year and I had to push for money from six sets of guests. Ro and I texted accordingly and the aforementioned guests confirmed that they couldn't make it due to a job loss...very sad. Ro and I considered whether they could drive down for the day, however it really isn't for us to decide how they spend their time and money, and it is fair enough if they can not justify attending. It's a huge shame as they are good friends but needs must and we've all been that person who has had to make difficult decisions. My only wish is that we were in a better financial situation and able to offer help.

After we received this cancellation Ro text one mate asking if he wanted to stay on site. I was terribly sexist and assumed that because he was a bloke, he probably wouldn't have arranged anything yet. I was right, to a point. Ro also text another mate asking for him to come to our wedding, we had previously been restricted by numbers.

The latter confirmed that he'd love to attend. However, the first guy came back explaining that he was skint and wouldn't be attending the stag or wedding and had meant to let Ro know... Ro accepted this fate but with a small sting in the tail, as this particular friend had spoken about never attending a wedding or stag do before, and being excited about it all. Once again, we understood and started to laugh, it was becoming a little ridiculous!

The following day, Ro received another text stating that a friend's partner couldn't make the meal but would attend the evening. This was met with a chuckle and appreciative reply.

"Fine" we thought, that is the final list of those not attending and we can now settle our numbers and pay the caterers the final bill...FOOLS!

During my hen, Ro's sister told me that one of their cousins would most likely pull out as she had confessed to not arranging travel or accommodation. A week later, during the Stag, Ro receives a text saying that she was unable to get leave arranged at work, once again we laughed...what is it with some people?

Additionally, we are yet to have final confirmation from another cousin, who said they'd probably come just for the ceremony (we kept a bed and meal for him, just in case) but at this time, it is all just stupid and we have given up caring.

The first cancellation was really sad, we'll miss not having them present; the second one was rather 'ce le vie'; the third can at least come to the evening and allowed us to save some cash...and as for the cousins - oh my days, some people you just can't help, no matter what you do.

My advise about this part of wedding planning is:

• 'don't assume', just accept that some people can not commit or make things work and they some times have more important things at hand; and
• make sure you enjoy the company of those who do attend, and don't you dare pine over the ones who can't.

Wedding Planning Pt.5

Image courtesy of the Internet

One of the best things that I have discovered during the wedding planning process is other people's opinions on what we should be doing, or focusing on, what we must have or do, on the day and who we must have attend.

I have to say, that my family may have not been great financially, luckily, they've been terribly supportive when it comes to our plans, ideas and invitation list. As has Ro's Mother and Sister.

However, not everyone sees it that way and this has caused the largest rift known to one family. Ro has a family member who at times has caused upset before: emptied his Mother's house of her belongings (following his Father's death) as she was moving to a smaller house, whether she had hoped to sell or retain those items; told his pregnant Sister that she'd probably miscarry during her second trimester or could always have a still born birth; and insisted on scattering Ro's Grandfather's ashes without his Mother, him or his Sister present, citing the tidal timetable as the reason it had to be right then and there, and not even giving their Gran the chance to prepare emotionally, or mentally for the event.

These are just some occasions where people have been upset, and I believe this particular person doesn't do it maliciously or with intent to upset, I really do believe they mean well, they just fail to see why others may not be happy or agree with their decisions. They lack forethought and consideration, but that is all it is, for some reason it has never been raised before and therefore they've continued to behave this way without ever questioning whether it was the right thing to do, or the right way to approach the situation, etc.

Due to the above occurrences, we did not want them present on our wedding day. My parents had a wedding run and controlled by my Mum's Mum, and my Mum has always said that our wedding is ours and that they won't get involved, and they have lived up to this, one of my brother's eloped and they didn't blink an eye, and in regards to all of our decisions (so far) they have been 100% supportive.

We had hoped that we would be able to not invite them and be left to it, I did suggest first of all that we send a card explaining but Ro didn't want to. Skip a month later and we've had three different family members trying to find ways to make it so that this family member can be present...totally ignorant of our wishes. We were left with only one approach, to be mature and contact this particular family member directly explaining our decision. Ro's Mum was hesitant to give us their contact details but did so. We didn't want to discuss it over the phone as conversations can be misquoted and can become heated very quickly. So we felt email was best, we wrote and rewrote the email, a lot. Which was wasted energy, as it transpires that whatever we did, it wouldn't have been well received, we could have wrapped it in gold, put it in a Tiffany's box, written it in the sky and we would always have ended up the terrible villains.

So now we haven't just gained two seats from other members of Ro's family not being able to attend, we have gained an additional 4 seats, possibly 5, all because this particular family member has decided that if they can not come, no one else should.

To make matters worse, Ro's Gran hasn't once phoned him or tried to find out why he didn't want this family member present, she has automatically decided he is an awful person and has disowned him, which is such terribly upsetting behaviour, especially for a Christian. During this time, I haven't seen any understanding, forgiveness, or acceptance, just judgement, vengeance and disregard for his feelings.

The most upsetting thing is that Ro just wanted his Gran present, especially as she missed his Sister's wedding. He doesn't get to see her often and with the loss of his Granfather last year, it would have meant so much. Aren't families, and weddings, wonderful?!

Wedding Planning Pt.2

image courtesy of the internet

I'm being terribly sensitive today, I know it but I can't help it. I was innocently showing a colleague one of the potential fascinators I'd like my Bridesmaids to wear and it was met with a comment similar to 'are you serious? Surely they'll never wear them, or remove them as soon as possible?'. This comment wasn't meant negatively or rudely, I think they were just highlighting that what I want isn't necessarily what others want. Which of course I understand...however, during my friend's weddings I have worn colours and cuts not suitable for me, been the bestest bridesmaid ever (and also the worst, sorry Gemy). BUT I'm not asking for the moon on a stick, I have said they can wear whatever they want but in a certain colour and yes, I have now changed that colour, but we have six months to the day and I doubt they've bought anything yet, as all the dresses available are summer and I'm having a winter wedding and if they have, I'll feel shitty, but I've been a hoping and a praying that nothing has been purchased as of yet. Oh fuck, what if it has?! I really am a Zilla Bride!

I had been feeling very isolated from some of my bridesmaids, so I've setup a new chat group with a funny "bridezilla" motif (above), so I can chat with them about anything (other than 'Hen Do' related stuff), as I do want their input. I had hoped to go 'faux' wedding dress shopping but it deemed too hard to find a time for all six of us, and get available appointments, so I've scrapped that plan. I may go with a couple of friends another time, for shits and giggles though...as when else will I get to put on ridiculously large dresses with multi petticoats and a corset, and have help in a dressing room from a stranger, ok maybe the latter will happen randomly but definitely not the rest, that's for sure.

Blimey, there are a lot of justifying 'buts' in this post... 

Wedding Planning Pt.1

I fear that these posts will become Wedding Planning Pt.4879 very soon, so in advance I apologise! Gees, do I apologise, I've only been at this for a few weeks and am already over it. In fact, when I started looking into it, I was over it.

Since last spring I have been popping in and out of potential wedding planning, like I said above: ugh! Ro and I have investigated having it hosted in Wales, in Oxford, in London, in Oxford, in the Cotswolds and back in Wales to never ever it's too much work!

We found one place which seemed perfect and I spoke briefly about it in a post from November 2015, however once we contacted them, they requested £8000 for the hire of the venue for the weekend and food, our guests were then expected to part with £200-450 for accommodation, plus we needed the registrar, license and booze. Their website told tales about being home grown, organic and yet when we asked if there was a corkage fee for homemade Elderflower Champagne, we were told £11 per bottle! Homegrown, my arse! Typical capitalist wankers who spout organic lifestyle but made their riches in London being exploitive and continue to do so in Wales. It really irritated me greatly and once I received that email, it made my mind up to delete the venue from our shortlist.

After that, we considered doing it in London, hiring a rental space and bringing everything in, or getting married in a town hall, having old Routemasters to take up to our reception in the private room of a pub or restaurant. I contacted a couple of bars about renting them, they're minimum spend was £25k exclusively, or £10k and opening to the public at 10.30pm. I think it is safe to say that they had no interest in dealing with weddings. We worked out that renting a space and loading everything in would cost a fair penny and I'd rather not spend a deposit for a house on a piss up with friends and family!

We did find this: St Dunstan in the East and thought it would be a wonderful place to get married and then realised this is England and it would most likely rain, no matter what month it is and we'd still need a reception venue afterwards.

So, we gave up for a while and then, one day while looking online I stumbled across a Charitable Trust Nature Reserve in Somerset and fell in love! We hope to get married there in the future and look forward to planning our BIG day with you all...that is if we don't break up during an argument on what colour the ribbons on the fence posts should be?! As that sounds plausible from the tales I've been told about wedding planning.

Wedding Decoration

Friends of ours got married recently and they asked for my decorative input. Over numerous nights I made 90 metres of bunting, mainly from remnants in my material basket, the bride came and joined me for some of these sessions, supplying wine and snacks to keep us fuelled.

The day before the wedding, we wrapped cleaned jars with raffia bows, made makeshift brackets from garden wire and hung them in trees with tealights.

Made numerous tissue paper peonies of various sizes and colours, and hung long thin streamers from a leafy tree, we tied numerous strings together and loosely looped them around the branches, so anyone removing them could cut them easily.

It was a lot of fun and looked great all day and night, even after a lot of wind and rain. If I could change one or two things, I'd have made the streamers much longer, they should look as though they are far too long, trailing on the floor even, that way, they blow in the wind at a height, instead of blowing up in to the tree. We live and learn.