Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Tumble Me

Before I start this story, I'm just going to quote that yes I had been drinking but:
a) I was not drunk, or tipsy, had just had a beer and 2 gin and tonics.
b) I was wearing heels, which allows me to have been a little more off kilter than usual.
and c) I know you shouldn't play ball games indoors, unless it's those sorts of ball games (sorry couldn't resist).

So, the story starts like thus:
On Sunday, I went down to London to see a friend and yes, I suppose you could call him a "friend"! We hung out for a bit, got hungry, went out for dinner, drank said beer. Popped to the pub on the way home, had the two gin and tonics that I mentioned, or Gin and bollocks as my friends and I refer to them as, but like I previously stated one was not drunk or even tipsy.

We got back to his front door and inside his hallway, now let me set up the scene. He lives in a very nice first floor flat, the stairs are inside, carpeted and outside of his flat door, it's all very well lit.
Once inside the hallway, said friend decides to start playing with a football, kicking it up the stairs, I get bored and due to having worn heels all day, just want to sit down, so take his keys and start up the stairs. On the way up, I happen to stop the ball from rolling back down the stairs. At which point, he states "look what you've done", I'm now at the top of the stairs, turn and go to kick the ball back to him. Unfortunately, one has never been good at sports or hand eye/foot eye co-ordination...Instead of kicking the ball down, I end up throwing myself down the stairs, head over heels, while falling I smack my head and left knee against a very hard brick wall, I also slam my thigh and shin against the stairs.

It's amazing how slowly you fall and how quickly your brains thinks. My thoughts during my fall, which felt as though it lasted for at least a minute or two, was firstly:
Gosh, I was only thinking the other day, it's been yonks since I fell down the stairs.
How long are these stairs?
Am I about to knock said "Friend" over like human skittles or will he somehow be able to stop me?
Thank god, I've finally stopped and I'm not damaged.

What transpires is that, my friend stopped me and then remarked "Bloody hell, are you ok? You could have broken your neck?!", to which my reply was hysterical laughter, while sitting on his feet two thirds of the way down the stairs.

I now have a huge growth on my forehead that isn't very visible but bloody hurts. I hugely swollen left knee with impressive bruise to suit. A lump on my right shin with mild bruising and a deep purple bruise on my right thigh - I never was very dainty.

But I suppose that is what happens when you misunderstand and fall head over heels at someone, instead of for them.

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