Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Lost postcards

Around this time last year, I visited The Tate Britain. Before I departed I visited the gift shop (I don't normally do this, costs way too much money). I've a small love of cards and postcards, I adore them in fact. Can't help but buy them. I've banned myself from Scribbler, as I normally spend £30+ upon most visits. My walls are covered in framed pictures and cards, I'm unsure how people live with bare walls...

Well anyway, while in the shop, I came across some gorgeous postcards that struck a cord. There was one in particular that I loved, it's this one above (it's John Sargent's Carnation Lily Lily Rose).
The upsetting part of this story is our love affair ended a few hours later, as I went to the Oxo Tower to meet a friend for drinks, showed him the postcards I'd bought and when I reached home there were no postcards.

I'm not sure why this painting attracted me, there was just something so beautiful and enchanting about it. One day I'll go back to the Tate and purchase the same card, maybe I'll find it somewhere else, I mean it's a pretty famous painting, so who knows? But I do miss it.

There aren't many things I miss. My friends and family who have passed on, I miss. But friends who go on travels, etc I don't miss so much. With nowadays technology, it's near impossible to truly miss someone, which is nice. Although even before this, I never really missed people, things, etc. I'm not sure why but I'm more about the here and now, than the past or future. I acclimatise quickly to new situations and changes, maybe this makes me cold hearted or just peculiar but I've always been this way. I think it's just easier and better sometimes to accept the hand you're dealt and deal with it best you can.
Maybe I have just been privileged to have the parents, up bringing and chances I've had, to make it so I've never had to go without very much or to really truly suffer. Or maybe it's just that I'm not a big dweller, I'd rather get over and on with things, than sit and dwell. I was once a victim for a short while and after this pitying time I realised I'd never wanted to be this person again. Rose tinted glasses always make life a lot easier, with the whole "everything happens for a reason", "what goes around comes around" and "you get what you give" being common phrases in my mind. Maybe this is the case, maybe it's not but I always try to treat those, how I'd like to be treated. This at times has made me a doormat but it's also brought some of the most incredible friends, people and chances to me, more than I could have ever wished for. Which I'm extremely grateful for.

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