N16

On my second weekend as a N16 residence, I decided to go for a wander...

In my immediate neighbourhood, I'm lucky to be surrounded by the following parks:

Abney Park Cemetery
Clissold Park
Springfield Park
Hackney Downs

During my wander, I pottered down to Stoke Newington Church Road and was planning on walking around to Clissold Park, but decided the cemetery looked more interesting, plus I've never ventured in before.

I'm so glad I did. It's incredible! Check it out for yourselves, it looks as though the caretaker died and no one noticed.

The thing about Abney Park is that there are loads of people looking around, sitting on benches and drinking in public (obviously the last one isn't so attractive but it all sets the scene). The park is huge and continues for miles, with little earthy tracks, and rows and rows of graves. It looks as though certain parts of the cemetery are overgrown hedgerows but when you take a closer look, you realise that graves lie underneath. The entire place is so enchanted and when you think you've seen everything, a derelict church appears out of nowhere.

I highly recommend trips to Abney Park Cemetery (this is their official website).

After I'd finished pottering around Abney, I headed over to Springfield Park, which is the other side of my home. It's a lovely little park, which has a nice set of hedges with benches in them, looking Eastwards over the River Lea and Walthamstow Marshes.

Some good deeds, aren't worth it!

I had a rather funny/strange conversation with my mum the other day: It consisted of me telling her about my helping a bitch (I happen to know) out.

It starts like this: a couple of friends and I had planned to go to the pub, this individual invited herself along - isn't that always the way?!

A couple of drinks in and the bitch seems to be getting pretty merry, she tells us about cheating on her long term boyfriend with Colin Farrell in LA (whoop de do, you whore!)...I mean come on, we all talk about our Top 5s, but how many people would actually cheat on their partners if they had the chance?! I doubt that many would, I know I couldn't. Anyway, I'm lost on a tangent... So, we continue to drink and the bitch starts to walk around and place drinks down, hardly touched, orders a new drink and then place that one down, etc...in total, she basically drank about three large reds. I appreciate this is on an empty stomach, and not everyone is as epic as I am at drinking, but if you reach your limit, stop drinking don't continue to waste money on new drinks, especially tasty large reds!

Anyhow, we get about five drinks in and she disappears. I assume she's gone out the back door of the pub, I continue to talk to the random people I've found for a bit, eventually I decide it's time to leave. Now, in this particular pub, there are three doors and two ladies lavatories (this bitch is lucky that I didn't use the lavatory I'd normally use, otherwise it could have been a much worse story for her). As I walk into the pub, I see her asleep on one of the tables. I pop to the lavatory and have to decide, do I
a) walk pass her and leave?
b) wake her up and try to get her to a taxi rank?
or
c) take a photo and then do either a) or b)?

Due to my parents raising my correctly, I perform b). As soon as I do, I regret it (did I mention she was dribbling?!), I wake her up and she is instantly rude to me. Fun times for me!

I support her up the road and all the way, she tells me that I'm lucky she's there to help me, she also repeatedly asks me why I'm doing this? And also is incredibly rude and horrible to every bloke who walks past, to whom I have to apologise to.

I finally get her to a cash point and she refuses to withdraw cash, at one point she tries to withdraw cash with random membership cards, she continues to throw her designer bag on the floor and empty the contents onto the pavement, which I then scramble around and pick up for her. She also starts to bitch about the fact that she can't believe that her boss didn't give her any cash for her taxi and how dare he leave her up shits creek. After about 5 minutes of this (by the way, Barclays will be having a field day if they ever watch the cctv of the cash point from that night), two guys start to wait behind us, at which point she tells them that she knows what they want and there is no way their ever going to get it. They, understandably, look horrified. I apologise profusely and move her to one side, so they can get cash out. It ends up with me, having to offer to get cash out for her. I explain that I'm at the end of my overdraft and that I'll get charge, I also explain I'd expect her to pay it. I finally flag a taxi down and put her in it, at which point she refuses to tell the taxi driver where she lives. I see this as my chance to leave  - I'm free!

Side note - Dear Mr Taxi Driver, I am very sorry for leaving you in the lurch with such a horrid drunk person, but I hope you can except my apology. I'm sorry that you may have thought that I was also coming along. Please accept my apologies from the bottom of my heart.

The next time I see her, after about 2 hours I had to bring up the fact that she owed me cash. I also had to wait till the second time I saw her to a) get it and b) receive a thank you for helping her. You know what, some times good deeds just aren't worth the effort.

So, why was the conversation about this with my mum so funny?!
Firstly, once I told my mother this and she had gotten over her initial rant about 'stupid girls getting so drunk and being irresponsible', she told me that I should have taken a photo (remember, this is the woman who has instilled all of my morals).
Secondly, when I told her that I've always felt this girl wasn't very nice, and having her behave in such a way, reassured me that I had possibly been right first time round. She told me that maybe I shouldn't have bothered to help her and that some people won't learn until they end up in a situation which isn't ideal (once again, this is my moral guide?!).
Thirdly, towards the end, when I explained that I thought this particular girl may have always been over looked by her own mother and that maybe she lacked parental love and that I will always choose loving parents and a family unit over all the money in the world, my darling mother laughed and said "Oh dear, maybe I failed at raising you properly!".

Dearest Mother, you are one very funny lady!

Revamping a Dresser

This is my new dresser, which I've acquired form my new housie. She has given me free licence to do as I see fit with it. So I thought for about an hour and decided to collage the main body of the dresser in flowery/pastel images and the drawers in black and white type.

I've ordered some flower door knobs from eBay of various colours and have started perusing my collection of magazines for flower images. I'm so excited, I almost don't want to start it, in case it doesn't work and looks rubbish. Damn you, pre-crafting worry...

All moved in

Having moved out at the beginning of August, I stayed with an awesome friend and her husband for a week and a half in Bermondsey. I then headed to Chiswick to house sit for two weeks. During this period, I had my friend, Lauren, stay with me. The house was the most lovely house, very stylish and homely, which is a hard mix to accomplish. I was also cat sitting, although I think it was more that they looked after me.

Choucas' weak spot!

During this time, I chilled, drank, crocheted, hosted a small bbq and had some good times one weekend along the river with some most excellent friends: JFo and Budge.

Choco tries to blend in!

At the end of this, I headed back to Bermondsey for just over a week and then, finally, I moved in to my new flat, with my guardian angel of a new housie: Innie. 

(In fact during the entire period after my break up, I appear to have been surrounded and looked after by so many different "angels in disguise", it's been rather incredible and has made me feel truly blessed! I've always believed in karma and this period of time has truly shown me that it exists, although I really don't think I've deserved this much kindness, it has been awe inspiring).

I moved myself in mid week and on Friday collected the majority of my crap from my parents, with the help of some wonderful friends, we got it in to my room, just about! I spent all of yesterday unpacking, but check it out!

My creative centre

Dressing Area

Alternative light

Newly made curtains

Some high brow TV shows and reading...

Some actual high brow reading (well, mostly)...

I finally got the chance to use some fabric, which I've had for seven years, as my new curtains, I'm so glad I kept hold of it. I've also got a creative area for sewing, art projects and various other crafts that I turn my hand too. Although all I've used it for so far, is storage of clean clothes and other crap.

Innie has lent me her old dresser, which I've been given permission to adapt. It's currently cream, soon it shall be collaged in flowers and type, with awesome flower handles - I'm totally embracing my girly side, after two years of being told everything has to be mutually decorated. YAY! Bring on the flowers, sequins and glitter!

Love: Old and New Photos in one!

Old and New

My Year in Books: Frankenstein

I was a little stuck for what to read, post 'Great Expectations'. All of my books were in a van in the shire, I had two books with me: Frankenstein or Pride Prejudice and Zombies. It decision was hard...but I felt that something light to carry in my handbag would be optimum! Yep, I chose Frankenstein due to it's physical size - isn't that how we all choose books? I also fancied something short, especially after both 'Anna Karenina' and 'Great Expectations' - they could both block broken panes of glass with no drafts.

I'm two thirds of a way through Frankenstein and I'm really enjoying it. I was a little surprised at how articulate the monster was, but hey, he's explained that all...understandably, here is to the rest of the book, I hope Mary Shelley doesn't let me down!

My Year in Books: Great Expectations Pt. 2

I loved, loved, loved Great Expectations.

It's so incredible! The characters are well rounded and interesting, by the end of the book I adored Pip. I was so glad that he got over his ego and became an incredible young gentleman. I also loved Joe, he was such a loving, caring character who couldn't see fault with anyone. I hated Estella for the most part and I know it isn't her fault, she was raised so but she's such a bitch! As for Miss Havisham, I loved her, twisted I know, how can you love the creator but hate the result?! I've no idea but I do. Maybe it was due to the fact that I kind of understood why Miss Havisham had behaved in such a way...I mean with the upset and twisted revenge, not the actual actions of screwing with a young impressionable mind. I know that Estella is really the victim, but she drove me mad...

My hat is off to you Mr Dickens, you are one hell of a talented writer. Yeah, I can tell that he has been waiting for me to write a review of one of this books since he started writing. He'll be so happy, he can probably rest in peace now...

Everyone should read this book at one point in their life. This is pretty much all I'm going to write about GE. It's not fair to spoil it for anyone, it's a wonderful, wonderful story! Go and read it!

This brings me so much joy!

 

I think it's the total lack of trying to brace herself, which fills me with so much joy!

Maria expressing herself fully!

 

Hoarders

When I moved out of Party Central, I said goodbye to mindless TV, as I only had freeview, so all of the really poor TV shows that I love: Four Weddings, Don't Tell the Bride, Hoarders, Super Sweet 'Spoilt Brats', etc., were all said goodbye too. BUT now, I'm house sitting with full Sky TV. I'm immersing myself in bad TV and I'm starting with my favourite!

The American TV show 'Hoarders' - now we're talking! I feel like I should justify that I don't love all hoarding TV shows, when Channel 4  produced 'The Hoarder Next Door', where they sent people suffering from OCD to clean the homes of kleptomaniacs/hoarders, I was very mad. There was minimal medical care or consideration for both sides, there was medical support at hand, it wasn't dealt with properly, seemed rushed and similar to full exploitation. After all, this is a terrible mental disorder that needs to be dealt with properly.

But the American show Hoarders, is pure joy...yes, it's still a kind of exploitation but at least they are accompanied throughout by family members and a psychiatrist and are taught to try to understand why they hoard, etc. (yes, this is me trying to justify my obsession), maybe it's not that kind at all, I just feel that the production is much better and more considerate to the situation.

It's typically American TV - spoon fed and dramatic, over the top drivel. But for some reason, it doesn't seem as repetitive as most American TV, there isn't a constant reminder of what happened five seconds ago, etc. May be due to the editing, or the use of type on the screen, instead of a narrator, in fact the lack of narrator may be why I can stand it longer than most American TV shows. I'm not really sure.

The other show I love is 'Storage Wars', which is simply a TV crew filming ceased storage units get auctioned and opened. It's bloody brilliant, through and through.

I think my deep down love of these sorts of shows, is that my Grandma is a mild hoarder and believes you can sell anything for something and so does my Dad. My Mother has swum upstream for so long against them and while we were children she pretty much gave up trying, therefore we lived in chaos at times. I was so ashamed for my messy house with filled work surfaces, walk ways, etc. Don't get the wrong idea, my Dad and Grandma aren't full on hoarders, hell no, just occasional kleptomaniacs/Del Boys, but still, what's wrong with a filing system and using cupboards effeciently.

Therefore watching these sorts of shows makes me feel so much better about my family home, which my Mother is now trying to tackle due to being semi retired. Good luck Mum, my thoughts go out to you! At least she can always watch Hoarders to make herself feel better.

Moving out

The big move happened on Saturday, I'd spent the week before packing and prepping my life into bags and boxes and was ready to load it up and send it back to Oxfordshire.

My friend, Jo, came to help, along with my parents, who were/are mega stars! I came back to the shire with them and all of my stuff and hung out for the evening. For some reason I was unable to sleep last night. I guess it was strange being in a quiet neighbourhood, minus the drunken calls of Essex lads at 2am. Also, it had been such a long tiring day, I assume I was over tired.

I'm now sat in my flat, on my mattress on the floor, looking at my swat like hovel. It's all so weird and bizarre...I miss my stuff!

One work week left and I'm going, going, gone!

The Beatles - Full of surprises

I thought I'd heard everything that The Beatles had ever recorded, especially during the years where I worked in the music industry and when I dated one of the biggest Beatles fans I've ever known, alas....it's not true!

My friend Glenn visited from Minneapolis a few months a go and I put on Help! by The Beatles, to supply perfect background music. Mid record, just before I needed to turn it over, the most beautiful, catchy, incredible song played and I was awe struck. Conversation halted. The world stopped turning for a second. Everything froze!



All I can say is that I had never heard the most simplest, beautiful, heartfelt song known to man before. This song over took every other song that has struck me. It's just incredible...I now listen to this every time I lose faith, belief in the greater things or just need cheering up, it's now up there with TV on the Radio 'Wolf like me', and due to this post being about happy songs, have TV on the Radio, for good measure...it's still my 'happy song', well it's not my ultimate, life is bad and there is no way out of this hole song (that trophy is still held by a terrible 90s band) but it is my cheering me up, raring to go, party time song...

Wonderful photos

Wonderful black n white photos


Posted while away with the fairies

Stupid Life Questions...

I've spent the morning looking online to see if there are any particular jobs I'd die for, I met with the work's HR department last week and was asked that horrific question, the question that I've shied ('shied' does not look right, not at all...it's really freaky) away from for the last 30 odd years...

"What would your perfect job be?", now this question comes in various forms, it's starts with "What do you want to be when you're older?" this is a question you get asked as a child and as a child, you have no idea what the answer to this question can behold, you've no idea what crazy, mad jobs are out in the world, you're not even aware that you don't have to work, if you don't want too...you could collect the dole forever or win the lottery, or anything and everything else that comes with not working.

You complete primary school, go to secondary school and the first thing you get asked is "What do you want to do when you leave school?", if you choose A Levels or college, you're safe for a few more years but people will want to check in and see where you believe you're headed...so you make a random selection from a list of possible jobs and start working towards it. You finish further education and then you consider university or the "real world", I applied for university and then chose the "real world".

Since entering the "real world" I've held various jobs and the only thing I come back to, when people ask me "what do you want to do with your life?", the only answer I have, to all questions with a similar nature to this, is "To be happy". I'm 31 and I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I never have.  When I was a child, I wanted to be a Policewoman (until Martella got shot in The Bill), as a teenager I wanted to be an Architect but I found out that the training was long and you generally ended up not designing buildings at all. At college I studied towards Stage Design but then I didn't go to university, as I wanted to earn money instead. I worked for Waitrose for a short time and then got a most excellent job, where I was an Assistant/Office Manager.

I'm a people pleaser, I like to make people happy, when people are happy, I'm happy. Therefore being an assistant is rather perfect for me. Since moving to London, I've become a Team Assistant, where I've had the chance to co-ordinate and manage events and dabble in archiving, among other things. Both of these things I've loved. I adore history, therefore dabbling within the archives has kept myself extremely content. Hosting and co-ordinating events works well for me, as I've spent most of my life surrounded by events and being a part of them, hence my finding it all so easy and during events, I get to see people enjoy themselves, which makes me happy.

But now, that could all change and once again, I still don't know the answer to that bloody question...

Maybe I never will?!

Maybe I've already done what I want and haven't realised?!

Maybe I'll be happy regardless what I do, due to my naturally happy disposition?!

Maybe, I need to leave the country and find myself with no ties what so ever, so I can work out the answer to this question and to all of life's other bullshit questions?!

Maybe, there is no right or wrong answer?!

All I know, is that up until a month ago, I loved my job, I loved the company I worked for and I was extremely happy, but these things are sent to try us, test us and make us question everything, anything and nothing...

Silly dreams..

Tom and I have broken up, it's all amicable and for the best. Randomly we appear to be able to be friends, even a week later. I guess being friends, before we got together, has helped a lot, plus there is no ill will, which is a blessing.

Due to being in a relationship, those silly dreams that girls have while single get scattered by the way side, and you start to design and dream about your lives together as a couple. BUT now that I'm single again, I can start dreaming about the moment a young desirable gentleman declares his love of me, while dressed head to toe in Regency garb, or dressed in a similar fashion to below...I'm really not fussed...

Crochet: Granny Square Baby Blankets

I'm not dead, I've been busy creating, not massive amounts but enough to keep a girl's hands from being still. I've made 40 metres of yellow and black bunting for my friend's wedding and have made numerous little things for friends but all the while, I've been crocheting granny square baby blankets:

Everyone I know is having babies, it's crazy and I keep on making presents for both boys and girls and they are always boys. I now have an abundance of girl presents, so luckily, I'm predicting that my friend, Jo, has a daughter, within the next year or so and she is going to be oh so spoilt with gifts. YAY! Or a boy who has a lot of pink gifts?!

These photos show my first completed blanket of 2013, it's a collection of soft baby acrylics, I'd love to make a blanket out of stunningly soft cashmere, but it's not practical, as most babies vomit, poo, dribble a lot, and therefore the blankets need to be thrown in the washing machine and dried in the tumble dryer with all of the other clothing, instead of being hand washed and dried flat rolled in a towel and placed in the airing cupboard ... actually, I wouldn't be surprised if I found a hand washed cashmere baby blanket rolled in a towel, that has been drying for 3o years, in my mum's airing cupboard ... lets be fair, during the first years of most babies lives, the mother is not of Earth, let alone giving a shit about the washing. My friends can thank my thoughtful nature of ease of washing by paying me in kind, failing that, cash or wine is always accepted!

Anyhow, I'm extremely proud of my first blanket of 2013, which I completed with a scallop edge.
Below are the other three blankets I've been crocheting. For two of them, I'm awaiting a parcel of cheap wool from the mother dearest, who was kind enough to pop to my old wool shop, Masons, in the country and pick up some balls on my behalf! Curse stupid London and it's expensive wool shops!

My Year in Books: Great Expectations

I love Great Expectations! I love Charles Dickens! I want to live in Little Britain, London and visit Hammersmith, as though it is the village it once was and talk to Herbert, etc.

For a while, when Pip had been told he was going to London to become a Gentleman, he got a little above his station and was rather rude to Biddy and derogatory to Joe but I feel that for now, I can forgive him these, as he seems rather charming at the moment. I'm only up to the point where he goes to Mr Wemmick's for dinner in Walworth.

I also, love that I'm learning about London, while reading it, it's positively charming to learn about the olde days!

Here's to the next 100 odd pages...

Scotland

I've just gotten back from my first ever trip to Scotland, aged 31. Which seems rather odd, bearing in mind that I've gone to New Zealand, in fact I've visited all of the countries in the United Kingdom, apart from Scotland - all very circumstantial, I swear.

The Lingtons

Any how, I was dragged to Scotland due to my best/oldest friend in the world, getting married there and no, neither the bride or groom are Scottish and no, neither of them have truly Scottish roots, it's all due to Edinburgh being their first weekend break as a couple.

The entire wedding preparation and day was incredible and a lot of fun! I was honoured to be a part of the wedding party and loved every second of the entire thing. I wish them both all the bestest in the world, with me right by their sides like a parasitic twin!

After the awesome wedding, cocktail drinks in to the late hours and a long, heavy, hangover, I found myself next to Loch Tay. Which is rather marvellous and beautiful.

The view from the cottage

Tom and I spent the weekend in the company of a most hospitable family: The Hickmans, who are friends of Tom's family, and Katie, all of whom are extremely warm and welcoming people, they assisted me in seeing more of Scotland, than I could have hoped too, or even have planned too.

Loch Tay

Loch Tay is where the River Tay runs to and through, it's long and thin but very pretty, I was told by the Scottish people I met, that I'm not allowed to recommend anyone goes to Scotland, let alone Loch Tay. So all I'm going to say, is that Loch Tay is crap, as is Scotland, don't bother going there, at all. There is nothing to see or experience, honest?!

We spent the weekend being accompanied by the most darling springer spaniel, Rum, who refused to sit still long enough to have her photo taken, hence the fragmented image below...

Rum the split personally dog!

In all seriousness, Scotland is truly beautiful and lovely and a place I'd love to go back to soon. Why did it take me so long to get there?

My Year of Books: Anna Karenina Pt.3

I've gotten to the beginning of the third book, of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, and have quit reading it, this is how hard I found the book to read and the characters to like. I kept on coming home from work complaining to Tom about what a bitch she is and have finally lost my patience with this book in it's entirety. In fact, the only character I really liked was her husband, Count Alexei Alexandrovich Karenin, which I'm pretty sure isn't supposed to happen. I'm 100% sure you're supposed to have sympathy for her and dislike him, but alas, I do not feel that at all...maybe my wiring is backwards. I also can not stand Count Vronsky, he's a troubled dickhead who can't see past the end of his own nose and always wants what is on the other side of the fence!

I read the ending of the story on Wikipedia and revelled in joy when she dies at the end, I felt as though she deserved it for being self centred and desperate for drama in her own life. I appreciate she fell in love for the first time, I really do but regardless of that, she should have behaved better and no it's not that I'm unromantic, not at all, It's just I hated her behaviour of trying to justify her actions and blaming others for them. I get that she's a modern naive woman and all of that but I do not like her or understand her. But hey, that's just my take on it. I know someone who adores this book and probably adores the character of Anna Karenina. Although, most people who I've spoken to about this particular book have all expressed that Tolstoy is quite a difficult author to read and that Anna Karenina is a whole lot of drama for little purpose.

In the mean time, I've started reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens; I feel that I'll get on this with book much better.

My Year of Books: Anna Karenina Pt. 2

I've pushed on with Anna Karenina but I'm finding it extremely hard to like the book or the characters. People keep on telling me that I'll feel sorry for Anna eventually but I'm finding that hard to believe as I think she is a rather self centered character who only thinks about herself and not the consequences. I really dislike her, in case you can't tell.