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It's nearly 2am and I'm sat in my bed writing a blog?! I've been trying to sleep for about an hour now and my brain is skipping, jumping, twirling, dancing, pole-valuting, questioning why I've said something or didn't say something and I can't take it anymore, so am hoping that by emptying some of it here, I may be able to find some peace, just maybe, nothing more.

I'm finally readjusted to my Oxford life. I went to this beautiful magical Christmasland for 6 days and it made me feel shite upon return, as my normally shiny positive world, appeared tarnished and not so shiny. In fact it seemed pretty empty and lonely...I guess being surrounded by people for 6 days and returning to an empty house would make anyone feel like this but add the fact that all of my household are loved up, adds for lonely times. Plus most of my close lady friends are all loved up also, bar 2 and I'm in for a lot of male friends or singleton times.

I'm ready to fall in love again but all the guys I meet or seem to get involved with, only want fun times (I'm an easy going, fun release from their seemingly up-tight recent ex's. As if I've no emotion or desire to be more than a fuck buddy - cheers guys!), or they aren't quite right for me. But there is a shiny silver lining, I have finally put my rose tinted view on the matter that the more shitty guys and dates and bullshit I have to put up with, the more incredible the bloke I finally meet will be - I'll apply small amounts of hope to that one though.

I was asked the other day what my desert island disc songs would be? I always say that these sorts of lists are impossible and that they'd have to be written for right now, not tomorrow or yesterday. As new songs effect, old ones resurface and others get new meanings but there are some songs that would appear, maybe not in a years time but right now, I could happily die after listening to all of them in a row (please don't test this though, as I really like living and being alive). I'm not sure how many songs you get on desert island discs (normally I'd research but I just want to write, I just want some ease of thinking).

My instant answer to said question was Rolling Stone's Wild Horses.

My next suggestion was Radiohead's Last Flowers (I love it but I may replace it with True Love Waits, I've loved it longer and doesn't rip off the riff from Karma Police).

The Doobie Brothers' Give me the beats boys, sung by Bill Withers.

U2's With or Without you.

Queen's The Show must go on.

Lucky Jim's You're lovely to me.

King of Leon's True Love Way

And finally, Cinematic Orchestra's To build a home.

I think that would be it, nothing fancy, randomly, no ladies present?! But a nice set of lovely songs, that could keep me smiling all day long.

In other news, I hate New Years Eve with a passion, so will be willing it to pass as quickly as possible, while at work*. Although my resolution, if I have to have one might be to either actually stop biting my nails, instead of not bite them for 2 months and then massacre them in one weekend or to correct my posture, who knows?! 

* I know I said about this time last year I would not work this new years eve and actually attempt to go out and enjoy myself, well I failed. No money, means time and a half looks good. Plus I'd probably stay in and with my state of mind at the mo, it wouldn't be such a good idea.

Austen in real time

I was asked the other day, if I had to compare myself to a Jane Austen character, who would it be? 

I stated how I loved 'Northanger Abbey' but more for Mr Tilney, than Catherine, who in one simple sentence is a "fantastical little girl with no grip on reality", although at times my fantasy life is far more interesting than reality.

Then I said I quite liked Fanny from 'Mansfield Park', due to the fact that she is intelligent and likes a moral living, with an underdog tone but she's also downtrodden and slightly to shy for my liking. Although thinking about it, maybe not - she's quite dull at times.

Maybe I could be Elinor Dashwood of Sense and Sensibility but then she's rather dull at times also.

I've the wit and determination of Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice but she's too gullible and believing in everyone with no even judgement.

My actual response was "most of Austen's characters are exaggerated for obvious reason, so maybe a mix of all of them". Alas I've come home and now know the answer. I'm Anne from Persausion. The one who lives for helping others and has learnt to put her own needs last. I'm not a martyr or anything like that, I don't think I'd change a thing even if I could, I just don't see why I should help myself when I can help others. I don't see why I should sit on my arse, when I can actively help those who need some help.

And if I've not entirely her, I'm a mix of her and Elizabeth Bennett. God knows?! Maybe I should stick to my original response?!

Can't get them out of my head...

I guess that title won't help most of you, as you'll all start singing Kylie, well that's kind of the point of this post. I've songs stuck in my head and the more I listen to them, the more I sing them and crave them. It's like pregnant cravings but for songs, instead of food.

The songs are:

Bill Withers - Give Me The Beats Boys

Lady Hawke - Magic

(The above two are thanks to Chips' latest mixed cd he sent me, I love getting mix cds)

Ryan Adams - To Be Young

Van Morrison - Bright Side of The Street

Bruce Springsteen - Blinded By The Light (my house mates love me singing this, honest they do. OK they really really hate it but tough shit!)

& Kings of Leon - Revelry

Mainly the two top ones are the biggies that I keep on humming, in fact I listened to Bill to get me in a better mood to have to clean the studio (it did the trick), am loving it so so much! It makes me really happy, as in big dappy smile on my face happy.

In other news, I'm dining out with the ladies tomorrow night, an evening of drinking, food and good company. Apparently there is also karaoke - oh deary me, my poor poor friends, I like karaoke and attention when I'm being a moron, they'll never get me off it, once they get me on it, poor fuckers.

I've also had to buy an indestructible camera. Now I'm good with technical equipment, especially for a lady but I've had not a lot of luck with cameras. I like to take photos, I enjoy taking them and lately have been found without. Last Christmas, I had a bulky Fujifilm camera for nearly a year and my friend while drunk dropped it from a height, opps! Death of Camera 1.

Roll on Jan 08, off I go to the sales and purchase a shiny Pentax (Camera 2), it was lovely and still is. A little technical blip at the beginning of summer saw me buying Jessops insurance (I recommend this highly, it's cheap and lasts for 3 years. Covers everything except theft & maybe loss.), September comes I go to the beach and sand destroyed it. Off it goes to the fixers, comes back a month later still screwed, off it goes again, a month later back in time for a blow out party. 2 weeks later and it's screwed up again, I guess someone kicking a large glass of Red Bull over it, didn't help.

Jessops here I come and they also spotted that the lense is back to front and were impressed it focused, etc for photos. While in there, I joke about buying an indestructible one and then ended up doing so, as my Pentax is going to be away for the whole of xmas, which sucks.

I'm now living with an Olympus and apparently it's waterproof, sand proof, life proof basically! The chap in the shop has buried it, played catch with it and thrown it in the washing up bowl - I think I may be safe, finally, from killing this one!

It's this ones big brother. But this advert annoys me so much! (Rant below)

I hate this kid, he needs a beating! If I'd even considered doing something like this to equipment when I was a kid, I'd have had my arse beaten raw, ok maybe not but the point is, that at a young age I had respect carved in to my mind and therefore wouldn't dream of doing anything like this. I know I shouldn't take this advert so literally but it really winds me up, as for the mother too busy gassing on the phone to even notice the behaviour of her brat of a child - Grr!

"Give me the beat boys to free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock n roll and drift away....la la la"

Is it really December?

I don't feel festive at all...spent yesterday and today in London with my cousin. She lives just off New Bond Street. We walked down there and Regents Street and it was all festive, lights lit and fake snow lined window displays and yet I've still got nothing.

I've bought my bottles of wine for staying at Bizz' family home and have most of my presents and yet, still nothing...let's hope it kicks in by the 23rd!

I did intend on buying some presents down in London but ended up buying myself some new clothes (all sale found) and some new make up. Also we were going to visit the Christmas fayre in Hyde Park but made it no where near...to busy gossiping and gasing. Times are hard.

Last week I was on stage with Supergrass at Shepherd's bush Empire. It was amazing! I smacked a cameraman in the face with sweets, I didn't mean too (sorry Mr Camera man). After distributing the sweets and rubber items, I had to dance on stage?!!!! Oh dear, I'm an awful dancer but had some fun anyway. It was hard not too - 2500 people having fun, confetti bombs, friends and good music - some times it's hard not to enjoy yourself!!! Was amazing! Definitely one of the best things I've done this year! Plus I was totally sober!!!
Someone filmed it, I'm the girl on the left or stage right - whatever! (They played a punk version of Once in Royal David's City.

The next night I went to see Kings of Leon with Lianne. They were fab! We had passes, not sure what they were for but we had to leave due to Paddington being on the other side of the capital, grr! Not like I would have used them anyway?! I didn't really know any of their crew, other than the head of their security and he would have been busy.

In other news, everyone should watch a film called Superstar - it's funny as and you'll all then be exposed to the 'fax machine' and the 'moving on' dance moves, they are pretty special!

In fact I've found some clips:

I can't find the moving on - shame!

Am hoping my festive spirit will arrive soon - maybe if I wore my garish Christmas dress, it will work?!

I'd rather go to the dentist

Firstly, the wedding was lovely. It wasn't as much of a slog as I thought it would be. I didn't drink and am glad I didn't. It was a lovely occasion and I'm glad I attended. It was a lot more intimate than I thought it would be, which makes it more special.

I didn't make it in to the pages of Hello!, shameful on their behalf really but what can you do?

After my horrid bout of cold last week, I've no developed Tonsillitis.
Now this may sound random but I get it all the time, not as bad as this but pretty bad. I always thought when I got a little swelling on one side of my throat, it was a gland but according to my father, it's tonsil based. Which means one of them flames up at least once every two months.
When I was younger, I used to always get it and the doctors always fobbed me off, with the whole "if you get it again, we'll take them out", I had it about 6 times in one year and every time, we'll do something about it next time - they never did.

Anyway, I always thought it was a gland swollen, not my tonsils, so normally ignored it and after a few days they'd go away. I'd feel fine, other than the lump, so would carry on regardless.
They swelled up on Sunday, both sides which is quite rare for me, bloody painful and gross, so I slept a lot! Did nothing. I went to work last night 7 hours of pub work and at 9pm a headache kicked in, was awful. Came home after work and passed out, still headachy at 3am, same again at 6am, same again at 7am, at which point I went on a hunt for drugs! Found some paracetamol and codeine - these brought my tonsils down and finally got rid of the headache.

Woke up this morning rough as sandpaper and feeling pap. Now the reason I'd rather go to the Dentist, is my Doctors surgery is horrendous! If they answer the phone, you get arsey receptionists who don't want to book appointments and don't want to be bothered. Once you finally get an appointment, it's for 3-4 days time. If you're still ill then and make it to the surgery, you're kept waiting 30 minutes past your appointment time by hypochondriac old people and then the doctors normally tell you that it's a virus or that a couple of paracetamol every four hours will do the trick?! I hate the doctors, I never go. I personally think if you're well enough to go to the doctors to get sick notes, you're well enough to attend work. I'd rather get my teeth drilled than go to the doctors. I'd rather get a huge bill off my dentists, as even this is less painful than trying to attend the surgery.

I went to Tesco' pharmacy, thought they might be able to give me advice. Immediately I got the horrid lady (there are two and one is lovely and one is cold hearted and rude - I think she's in league with the surgery's receptionists). She told me to go to the doctors, I told her I had no time and by the time my appointment was made they'd have gone away, she sold me Ibuprofen - woop!
I went to see my parents, they'd a stack of old medicine and low and below an old bottle of Penicillin - yeah! So what it's it's 15 years old, there is enough in there for at least 9 days worth. My dad was a little apprehensive but I don't care. It hasn't cost me loads of hassle from the doctors and it's free. If it doesn't work, I loose nothing and if it does - added bonus!

I mean, I eat rotten fruit and veg with the mouldy bits removed and out of date tinned food, etc - what's the difference between that and out of date drugs?

Pff!

I know it's wrong and that I should feel very privileged to be invited to a celebrity event of the year but I can't be arsed. I still feel a bit sick and would rather my bed than a drive to Somerset. Plus, I'm more excited about Fat Freddy's Drop in London tomorrow night, than tonight.

I did a last minute, argh! run to the shops to find something new - nothing! So bought some make up instead, that's normal, isn't it? No dresses, so make up will do. Good, I thought it was.

Am now sat here, one Berocca, 2 lemsip down, thinking ugh, whatever?! I've been given the chance to get out of it and I know I shouldn't want to but I do. I know if I don't go it'll be a shame but I also know that at one point this evening, I'll think "why the hell am I here?". My colleague's husband is going now, so I'll inevitably be alone at some points, even though I'll know people there, they'll all have plus ones to hang with, this isn't really an issue but then you feel half cut, everything is a lot more drastic, when normal.

The biggest shitter, is the no mobile phone rule. I know I know, I used to live quite happily without a mobile, was quite happy for my own thoughts and peace and quiet and yet the idea of not having it, does worry me slightly, as boredom is always solved by these beautiful trouble making, killing machines.

Right, I must get going. I must go and have fun and oh don't forget to wear make up, as my boss implied that I didn't want to scare any guests away, yep cheers for that, feeling on top of the world already. Luckily I know he's kidding, well he best be kidding - bastard!

I'll let you know how bad it wasn't soon. At least I know I won't be drunk enough to make a fool of myself, yeah!!! For once.

In answer...

...to my earlier enquiry "I imagine there is nothing more depressing than trying on a wardrobe of clothes, while you can't properly see or raise your arms up above your body, due to being so achy", there are more depressing things, of course there are. I'm a drama queen but not that badly, well not currently...

Yes, there are more depressing things, like trying on a dress you wore 8 months earlier with total success and finding it is tight and looks like a hippo trying on one of the Olsen twins' dress'. Even putting on high heels didn't help, when normally it always helps. I didn't even dare attempt my "waist slimmer thing" (in other words "girdle"), couldn't bear the idea, let alone the actual practice.

But I've narrowed it down to two outfits, which look alright and if all else fails, I'll be high on lemsip and red bull, so won't care?! I can't wait for a whole week, where I can eat nothing and run my arse off, to try and rid my lardy arse of these extra pounds I gained last year!!! Although I fear I'm sounding more like my mother everyday and will always rather grab a cup of hot chocolate and piece of cake, than my running shoes and iPod. Maybe one day I'll be a thin, a well restrained fool, who's life surrounds looking at things and never having them but I'll look fabulous, so that's good. Although, where is the fun in that? I think I'd rather buy clothes a size bigger than needed, so I don't have to notice when they get a little tight...

Jesus, I'm only 26, if I have that theory now, I'll be the size of a house by 40!

Sniff Sneeze and Snot

Guess what I've been doing over the last few days? I suppose the title kind of gives it away but not really. OK, so yes in fact it does give it completely away but I'm trying to be clever, with half a brain and a lot of fog in my cranium, plus my housemate is playing music loudly, while my brain thump thump thumps away.

I've had a cold but not just a typical, snotty nose, inability to breath, slightly achy cold, I mean a full power rushing headlong right in to my forehead, knock me off my feet style cold. It's been gross! When I get colds they generally hit me head long. When I worked at the Zodiac Nightclub, I got them all the time and would have them for weeks at a time. Nowadays, I work longer hours but appreciate sleep more, so when I have the chance, I grab it with both hands (what with old age and all...).

Last week I felt a bit shit, so literally exchanged my usual 15 pints of water, to 10 cups of Lemsip a day. By Saturday I felt a little tip top (probably a little high), had lots to do but I didn't feel pap, felt fantastic in fact, a little tired but that didn't stop me partying until 6am.

Sunday, felt like death. I tried to entertain my guests but failed, so they departed late lunchtime. Spent the entire day in bed, feeling rubbish, thought it was alcohol based...it probably was...

Monday death came by and knocked my socks off, I called in sick to work but then turned up anyhow (I'm such a trooper). That night I slept no hours at all, as I was too busy coughing or sneezing.

Tuesday, was like proper death, swollen eyes, achy body, snot factory on full power. I slept all day.

Wednesday back to achy, less snot, generally feeling pap but not like death pap - slept a lot!

Also watched Transformers with my housemate, I forget how well executed that film is and how funny. Also some Family Guy, American Dad and Spaced (I tried to introduce a friend to Spaced the other day. He was having none of it. Loser! Although when I introduced him to Black Books he didn't get it either but now, completely different story). I am feeling a little better, like I've got a slight cold, not a man flu style horrid invasion though.

The downside is that I've a wedding to attend tomorrow. It's a work related party, so I feel bad being off for two days and then showing up to party but there is no way I'm going to be on form to drink, so lemsip and red bull will be in my bag. I've also no idea what I'm going to wear. Will be driving to Somerset straight from work, so need to pack now, well in fact I should probably be asleep now, instead of writing this. Funnily enough, I don't feel like trying on my entire wardrobe while feeling this pap. I imagine there is nothing more depressing than trying on a wardrobe of clothes, while you can't properly see or raise your arms up above your body, due to being so achy. Good times! I'll be doing this shortly, so can let you know how depressing it is.

Also, I spent ages trying to buy a dress (was 100% silk, beautiful, in the sale, in my size - hurry, might sell out) from Miss Selfridges earlier. Due to Visa Verification (I appreciate they are saving us hassle and money but lately they've done nothing but cause me hassle), it took ages, two phone calls to Barclays and Visa Verification and two hours - it finally went through, yeah!!! They haven't told me that the dress is unavailable but I did go back and check and it's now out of order in my size - woe is me if is sold out. I guess it's fate that I'm not supposed to have it. Boo!

Time to try and get my achy slobby body in to dresses and shoes and try to look as presentable as I can. This will be my 5th wedding of the year and my first sober one, crikey - sober at a wedding, well I never!!! Surely that is illegal for over 18 year olds?

On the upside, if I'm feeling better tomorrow, the wedding will be ace, alcohol or no alcohol. Plus it's a nice trip to Somerset and a rather posh stately home - oh la la! And on Friday, Bring on the Powerhouse, as I'm seeing Fat Freddy's Drop! Dance Dance Dance Woop Woop!

And then another 50 things to do this Saturday, yeah! 

And if at any point the remnants of this bloody cold catches up with me, I'm going to re-hookup the Lemsip IV. This is the beginning of my December and I'm not going to be too ill to miss it, no way!!! If need be, I'll keep myself to a certain semi-healthy level and be ill in January.

New ideas are always better

When you get off your arse, a lot more gets done. Surprisingly?!

After 3 years of promising to watch my old housemates, Howard's, favourite  Christmas film "It's a Wonderful Life", I'm doing it. Am sat here at work, watching it and have cried, laughed, been horrified and am in admiration. It's fu*king brilliant!!!

Howard has the right idea completely, it's all about the proper idea of Christmas. Being with loved ones and doing favours for people, instead of keeping all your time to yourself. It's a beautiful film. The postman suggested it should be redone in colour. What a horrific suggestion! Why oh why do people try to ruin things with modern ways. It's a beautiful black and white film, there truly is nothing like the old fashioned black and white classics. They are so romantic, misty, well shot and just fantastic.

I've also found that Hollywood (modern, not old) are still trying to refilm classic horror films (they've truly run out of ideas). 

They've massacred: 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Old one: classic art house, suspence filled horror. New one: Jessica Biel in a wet white vest with no bra), 

The Amityville Horror (haven't seen either but a good friend of mine is outraged), 

House of Wax (Old one: B Movie fabulousness. New One: Paris Hilton gets killed, this is the best part of the film), 

The Fog (Old one: B Movie, bad monsters. New One: annoying actors who you want to die), 

They are currently in production of Friday the 13th. One of the best horror scenes I've ever seen is when Kevin Bacon gets stabbed through the mattress, they'll never be able to recreate it and it's a shame that they even try. I checked under my bed for weeks and I still do occasionally even now.

And horror of all horrors, they are redoing a Hitchcock, one of his most brilliant pieces of work, The Birds. Do they not realise that this film is so amazing, due to the director, not the story. It's like redoing Da Vinci's Mona Lisa and then claiming it's the same. It's blasphemy in Hollywood.

Now a know a lot of film storylines are taken, remodeled and repackaged, I'm not stupid but when they literally take a storyline and refilm it, word for word and then throw in some more gruesome images. It takes away from the original horror factor, which is the imagination of the viewer. It's such a shame.

As for Hollywood remakes of the Japanese Horrors, it's pathetic that Hollywood felt they had ot remake it with American speaking actors, because the subtitles might remove some of the suspense or whatever the excuse was. I've seen some of the American versions and have hated them compared to the originals. The originals were brilliant and scared me shitless. So for now, I'll stick with the originals, because most of the time, the originals are better anyway.

Some recent brain sick....

So this week, I have mostly been laughing.

I can't help it, I'm laughing at everything, with my bad moods, with my friends, with my good moods, with the stupid things I say and do and also I'm laughing at strangers (not in a bad way, in a shared positive way). I'm finding it a fabulous thing to do.

A couple of my friends and I went on a joint STD clinic visit (it's always good to know and it's a free NHS service, why wouldn't you go yearly?) and my male friend was papping his pants, so I sat there humming the Jaws theme tune - cruel but fair. Turns out we are all safe, STD clean friends - which is nice!

Am totally confused about life and how it works, as recently I've had dealings* with two chaps and might be having dealings* with another two guys, all who's first name begin with A! Just to keep things simple. One of guys I haven't done anything with I adore and would rather keep his friendship, than ruin it with complications. We will see...

I'm hating the new Mr Muscle adverts, it appears that Mr Muscle has been on steroids - it's crap now! No more string vests, stripy boxers or arms the size of cocktail sticks. Now a superhero outfit and huge musclesm it's shit!

So sit back and enjoy one of the classic ads:

Last night, I downloaded the best of Whitney Houston and Britney Spears - think iTunes may cancel my account, due to poor taste in music but there is a reason, other than the fact that "I wanna dance with somebody" is one of the all time greatest dancing songs, in fact I lied, there are no other reasons.

Have maxed out my credit card again, shh, don't tell anyone.

My knitting princess status may be coming to an end, because I keep on waking up with the claw - it hurts and makes typing quite hard.

The transport/traffic idiots of Oxford City Council are being idiots. They are finally permit parking a huge amount of East Oxford, which is a really good idea. The bad idea is that they haven't actually visited any of the streets to survey, especially around my area there are a lot of home made driveways, right where they claim permit parking will be. Have replied to their report, implying that maybe getting off their arses and coming to see the actual roads they'll be trying to organise, might help - or something to that effect. Let's see if it makes a blind bit of difference, probably not but then again, it's not them who will be trying to park here, so why should they worry?

I love the comic tv show "No Heroics" it's bloody hysterical.
http://www.greatstufftv.com/veoh.html?file=v16018219FMYJazTc

I'm still in love with LoveFilm.

* Doesn't necessarily mean intercourse, it could just mean a kiss or something to that effect. It's all extremely random, as I recently had a 7 month drought without even a snifter of anyone or thing.

P.S. This was my 100th post!

True Brilliance

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7730018.stm

What to type..

I've loads of things to say, but not sure what to start with or how i can fix them all in the one entry.  They are all odds and ends and don't really gel well, so I think I may just waffle on and on about not a lot.

I have to admit, a lot of the entries on here have been a little thin, as I've a new place to invest, which is a little more private in a public sense and of course, I've been freaking busy, which doesn't help much, other than my stress levels.

Am currently asking a friend the following question, out of everyone in the world, who would you kill first? Not sure who I'd start with, as you've the option of political figures who can get it so wrong or are just huge fascists! Annoying famous people, annoying people in real life, people who have hurt your friends or family, etc...god knows where I'd start. I don't think I'd start with someone who'd hurt me, I've dealt with my demons, so would I go to my friends and famillies tormentors? Probably not, as I think they've near enough dealt with their demons too, so...god knows?!

I might kill the directors who make awful remakes. The remake of the Texas Chainsaw springs to mind...oh and the director who did the House of Wax remake (although you did get to see Paris Hilton die and for that, I'd give the guy an oscar), it's such a hard question to answer.

I can't remember what else I was going to write about now, got sidetracked but will bid you a farewell for now, I've work to do...enjoy thinking of your killing spree lists...

Palmtastic

So, at the weekend I went to a sing-a-long Sound of Music - it was fucking awesome and don't knock it till you try it!
Although randomly I don't ever remember there being Nazi's in it or the escape at the end of the film. I only ever remember them getting married, so maybe I used to turn it off after that (well happily ever after is so much more beautiful, especially when you're a young girl).

Anyway, the point of this blog is that after the fantastic evening, I went to The Pot to see Chips and Moneymaker, as they'd been working. Shortly after I arrived, my bosses came back to the pub with some friend and a friend's parents. It turned out that the step-mum was a palm reader, this got me VERY excited!!!

She said she'd happily read my palm, I was extremely estatic!!! So we sat in the corner, one of the first things she said was "you're very creative and not in just one area, you're really creative and you need to apply yourself more, it's the key to your future career" - correct and what the ?! My future career?!
- "In the last two years you've had two flings very close together, you're very close to meeting, in fact you've already met him, you're very close to starting up a relationship with the man who you'll spend the rest of the life with. You've a long long line on your heartline, which implies once you've hooked up, you won't be parting for a very long time." - score, although he's got a long wait if he thinks I'm going out of my way or going to make any effort, lol. Plus I thought maybe she was talking about my relationship with Paul last year and how within two weeks, I was in bed with a future fuck buddy. These were the last flings I had. Unless she's got her timing wrong and is talking about now. I've had some fantastic fun with a couple of lovely chaps but that's all. Plus if two years is recent to her, it probably won't happen for another 3 or 4.
- "You're going to travels loads, although they are rather short trips, not long excursions. They seem to be linked to your creativity, Maybe you'll be a journalist?" - Umm, you've seen my style of writing, it's unlikely but I do prefer long weekends away than massive bouts of holidays.
-"You're extremely centered, you know who you are, this is very good. It adds to your lovely nature and spirit" - thanks, it's hard sometimes to be so amazing but someone has to do it, lol.
-"You'll have children, looks like 3, 2 of them are extremely close together, maybe even twins" - run for the fucking hills, twins no way on earth. I want my children to be close together, if possible, but twins, hell no!!!
-"There is a 'V' here on your palm. I can't quite remember what it means but I'm pretty sure it's in relation to conflict. It's very prominent, so either you've had it and hold it close or you're about to have it. Either way, you hold it very close to you, almost too close. You don't want to forget it, you see it as a lesson" - I'm very peaceful generally but if I feel unfairly treated or as though someone is taking the piss, I'll put them in their place and this has caused some bouts of conflict in my life. I didn't talk to my grandma for 6 months due to disagreeing with her and have lost friends due to telling them they are out of order. I do hope it relates to a past conflict, as I don't actually enjoy conflict whats so ever.

I think that was about it. There were other things but they were pretty meaningless...I really enjoyed it though, was nice to get my palm read. I'd very much like to have it done by someone else, so I could compare notes but whatever. I also know it's very general, never precise but she hit some nails on the head and she couldn't have asked anyone about me before hand, as her step-daughter wouldn't have mentioned me in passing and I wasn't supposed to be there at all. Well no matter how you feel about it, I enjoyed it and love that sort of shit, so will happy try again...see what happens?!

Time will tell...

To make up or not to make up

Right, so I've got to write this now, as I've too much to say in a comments box. My dearest friend Axl wrote a simple blog about women not wearing make up.

Right, so I agree with them. Most ladies do look lovely without make up. I was always told by my ex that I looked better without but he was pretty insecure, so I always thought he wanted me to look pap so other guys didn't look twice at me (easily plausible). I'm very religious about taking my make up off and always think after I've removed the tired, half worn away make up and put some moisturiser on, that I look much better, than five minutes before.

Recently, after some good nights of sleep, my first thoughts in the morning when I look in the mirror are "wow I look half decent". I mainly wear make up to make me look awake. Recently I didn't wear any to work and I looked like death (according to my bosses - thanks for that) and I do look extremely tired without the make up, where as with it, I can pretend that I didn't work until 1am, get to bed at 2am, sleep for 6 hours and then crawl out of bed to come to work, for the last 3 weeks.

I used to wear loads of make up (I've never been a foundation girl but eye make up yes), I was quite insecure, I was one of those confident insecure types, whereas now, I'm very confident and happy. I'll go whole days without ever even thinking about it.

I have friends who'll sleep in theirs, in case there is a fire in the middle of the night. I have other friends who think a little bit of mascara is over doing it, some that like to wear a little here and there, others who wear the entire make up counter just to go to the shops and others who wear it for fun.

There are loads of different reasons for wearing it, loads and loads. Mainly it's a mask to disguise certain tell tale signs of sleepness nights, stress, scaring, etc. But some times it's just fun to still be you and look like someone else, someone who could conquer the world or run a bank or be a dirty little bitch.

It's the fun that I like most, it's the changes of expressions and faces. I don't think it's bad, in fact I think it's amazing but there is something incredible about a fresh face, which will always be classic. Just allow your lady friends to be who they are, reassure them that they are beautiful and they'll relax and show you the real face soon enough.

Some people should be left to get on with it

Now I know that the police have a job to do, as do the Motorway surveillance team. But, after watching the clip below, you really think that maybe they should leave some people to it. Watch the film and then read my rant, if you fancy having your ears chewed!

Stupid women

Here are two Swedish sisters walking down the central reservation of the M6 (for the non-British of you, it's an extremely busy road connecting the South of England to the North). The motorway team see them on the cameras, the police dispatch to bring them to safety, not only are they risking their own lives, but the drivers too.

The police slow the traffic, bring the girls to the side for questioning. As they are asking what I assume would be simple questions, one of the girls breaks away and runs directly in to the oncoming traffic (What the fucking hell?!). She gets hit by a lorry (surprise surprise), as she gets hit, her sister runs after her (I know they are blonde but seriously?). She also get hits but by a van. Now, if they want to kill themselves, do it on their own time, not on others and don't do it where they are likely to fuck up everyone else's day. Those poor drivers who hit the girls, poor poor people. On a side note, the traffic generally slows down when the police have lights flashing on the side of the road, so am guessing they got hit at about 40-50mph, this isn't the usual motorway traffic but still - ouch!!!

Because they made a break for it and got hit. The entire motorway stops!!! Massive tail backs ensue. People's lives are stopped due to these stupid bitches! One of them then tries to have a similar thing happen on the other side of the motorway, after assaulting an officer who is trying to save her life (let her fucking get hit, maybe she'll die and then she'll learn not to play on a motorway!).
Plus a helicopter gets called out to take the first stupid bitch to hospital. Do you know how much a call out of a helicopter costs? About £1000 apparently!!! And after all this bullshit, the second stupid bitch gets one day in jail! ONE DAY!!! The other gets to sponge off our National Health for 7 weeks! To me, this is extremely unfair justice! They risked their own and hundreds of other peoples lives, as well as upset a couple of drivers who hit them and also, could have caused numerous crashes along the way. They then have a helicopter called out to them, another cost. They probably had legal aid at the court hearing and 7 weeks on the NHS and then we get the added cost of paying for one of them to go to jail for one day - I'd have rather invoiced them for everything and made them pay it or face jail in Sweden for 6 months! At least that would have made more sense and not pissed our money and services up the fucking wall!

Now I know I sound like I read the Daily Mail, wear wellington boots to walk my dog across the fields, while in my Barbour mac and obviously vote Conservative but really? Can you really tell me it was worth saving their lives? Is one of them going to save someone elses life? Is one of them going to cure Cancer? Doubtful!

Some people have said to me, they can't be straight in the head, drugs must be involved but still, what the fuck?! In my eyes, it would have been easier, cheaper and quicker to have left them to it.

Nothing like a clever advert...

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/9/Diesel-SFW-XXX-577249.html

Max & Gabe

I stole it from Radiohead's website, they stole it from the web, but it is funny...

The best lies we tell, are the ones to ourselves

I'm the queen of making up excuses for why I should or shouldn't do something. This isn't generally directed at work related things but towards my personal life, yes indeed.

I spent 6 months telling myself why I shouldn't date someone before, I also spent 4 months telling myself I should. I've spent nights lying awake at night convincing myself that I must buy something - mainly clothes but I can convince myself that my life will end if I don't own a certain item - I'm the worst or the best person to go shopping with, depends what you want. These are all excuses for one reason or another...basically, I know when I'm procrastinating but that doesn't stop me.

For the last 2 years I've been making the excuse that I don't run, due to not having the appropriate music playing device. Before this, I used the excuse of no suitable footwear. After 2 years of constantly telling myself and myself happily believing it, I've caved and spent £30 on a 2gb ipod shuffle. I did save £10, so this is a worthy cause to spend my hard earned cash on. Plus I don't currently have a boyfriend to waste my money on, so am quids in!

Although I did realise something awful yesterday, I don't own any sports socks?! Now, it's not that I don't want to go running, I actually do. It was the only sport I was good at, at school. But I'm easily distracted by things like beer, food, sitting, watching mind rotting tv, etc. I get excited about heading out and then find a reason not too.

2 years ago, one of my other excuses was that I lived on a very main road (far too public to get cramp, red hot, sweaty and eventually keel over in), then it was that I was cycling loads so didn't need to run but now? I live near the park on a very quiet road, so can keel over in peace and quiet. But I live half way up a hill (not a good look - crawling up a hill, not quite what was expected). I know what will happen, I'll run down the hill first (it just makes sense) and then get to the pub at the bottom of the hill, jog on the spot outside the window for about 10 minutes and then decide I need to use the facilities and on my way out, I'll stop for a chat with the bar person and then will have to order a pint, as it's just being polite, but of course I'll run home afterwards, it only makes sense.

I am going to attempt a little run here and there, if I can I'll go once a week, if not to the pub, maybe further. I mean, if I don't, no one else will. And this spare tyre I store will only stay put. Although like I said, I don't have any sports socks...what was that?...a pint free...oh ok, if you insist.

Another favourite blog of mine...

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

Pure genius!!!

Now time for the best URL of our time

The best url I've seen in some time: http://www/ivefuckedupbiggergigsthanthis.com 

This is a blog from Radiohead's crew, who at times get a little bored!