Strange Looks

If you ever want to get strange looks in a supermarket, buy 48 condoms and about £10 worth of sweets - was a very funny shopping trip!!!

Taking a time out

Life is such a funny thing. I find it so easy to get wrapped up in my life, that I get annoyed and fed up by the simplest of things, like the below post - pointless and futile but still the instant reaction is at least true, real and nothing more.

When these moments happen, I get to a point when I get so self involved, I start to fret about the most stupid of things, about people and their perceptions of me, worrying about the state of cupboards or obsessing about that noise in my car, which I swear wasn't there before - very selfish, stupid little things which get in your brain and start to whirl like the waltzers.
Once I reach this height, somehow something takes hold of me and I stop the ride and get off, this is easier said than done, after getting so wound up and in a state, it's hard to stop thinking in the manner I did before, but for sanities state I have to learn. If only I could realise I was in the state before it gets really bad, now that would be a trick.

This can be done in many ways: having a long hard talk to yourself (mine always end in conflict).
Walking about observing the smallest, most minute things, like blades of grass and realising how incredible and beautiful this world is (does work well but when you're in such a state, this is a long process of constant relapses).
But I find that reading one of Paulo Coelho's books normally does the trick. A lot of his books are based on faith in God and the bigger picture, etc. I believe in the bigger picture but am always unsure about the God issue. I was raised as a Catholic and I think religion is a good idea to a point, because it's given people a guide to trying to be a better person. I also think it's bad, (one example, not all) as there are to many people who take what it says literally (no pinch of salt required) and there should always be a pinch of salt, it's also in some retrospects rather dated.

But regardless of that, Mr Coelho's books always make me feel that my worrying and chaos in my head is so pointless, life will continue after I'm gone, so as long as I try to life it the best I can, be good to others, repent the bad and try and spend as much time enjoying it, what's to worry about. Things will happen without my influence and sometimes with it, so let it get on with it and I shall get on with having fun and trying to make sure my friends and family do also.

So I thank Paulo for always pulling me out of my self-obsessed moods of hepped up craziness.

Christmas, Bah Humbug!

Apparently it's Christmas in a few weeks?! So-what?

So far, I'm not in the mood at all. I have bought some presents already, due to my brother and his girlfriend going away and also due to my other brother being impatient.
I've a little collection of presents left and I'm sat here thinking I should get off my arse and go and get the rest of the presents, before I end up spending the money on myself and my wardrobe. Instead I'm still here, writing this, thinking instead of going shopping I could always finish wall papering my room or maybe do some more cleaning but I know I've got to give in and get them.

I guess there are a few points to my lack of Christmas spirit. I'm having Christmas with my friends this year, not my family. It's been a few years since I had a fantastic Christmas, the last one being at an ex's family with his housemates, as we all got very merry and the food was amazing. Or maybe the fact that I'm normally driving, causes me to not be able to get in the Christmas spirit, who knows?! Plus, it's been yonks since we had a proper large family Christmas, no nephews, or family friends joining us, which in my eyes is what it's supposed to be about.
Plus it's not cold enough, what is that about? Let's move it to February, when it actually does snow.

Oh well, I'm going to give in shortly, maybe if I listen to Christmas songs on my iPod, I may get in the mood.

If anyone sees some Christmas spirit, could they try and catch it for me please.

One of my favourite things

Other than eating Wispa' for breakfast and lying in till past midday (which would be classified as a rarity for me now a days) is random events, when you go out for a night with one idea and the night totally turns around.
I had one of these a month ago, I was supposed to be working at the pub, ended up being let off at around half ten, called a mate and met up for a drink, bumped into someone else as the pub was closing, went with them to Drum n Base, met up with other mates there and had the most amazing time ever.

A similar thing happened this weekend and it was very pleasant. It was The Fizz' birthday, the plan was to go to Turnmills in London, so we got on the bus around half nine (listened to 20 year olds sing karaoke all the way there, not only this but they were drinking and dressed as pirates, lol...was rather funny in an irritating/funny way). Arrived in Farringdon, went to the pub to meet people, pub closed one person had turned up, located another bar open till late finally others turned up, drank, partied, 2.30 bar shut, off to Turnmills more drinks, chatting for me, dancing for others. People left, people turned up and I ended up staying in London until Monday morning.

Fucking brilliant weekend and here's to more nights in a similar sense. I love random nights.

Axl stress

I was asked by Axl to write a blog for him...lazy bastard. So I had a think, a long winded think about what topics to write about...and came up with a whole lot of nothing. so i wrote about his office and now, I'm a little scared, is it going to be good enough? Is it going to be what he wanted? Will his audience like it? Golly the stress is to much, so for now I'm going to crawl in to a small hole and try to not think about it, easier said then done, of course.

To read my blog for Axl or generally quite funny stuff Click Here. Hopefully I'll be Guest Blogger 8.

Hard times

My day today consisted of meeting both David Byrne and Adam Buxton and looking at a good looking, hairy faced American - god damn, I find work so hard sometimes.

Although like I was saying earlier, the famous and talented really are wasted on me, I just don't get it?! I remember sitting back stage at a gig once with Jimmy Page, Dave Grohl and Roger Taylor and I was far more interested in looking at Taylor from the Foo's - he's so pretty. I believe I was dismissed by the boyfriend at the time for having no idea. Well I'm sorry but they are just talented people, we all meet talented people (doctors, architects, writers, etc) daily but we never praise them, so why praise someone who's appeared in a magazine once, twice, 50,000 times?! After all, they are just people too. Leave them to their quiet lives, simple.

Gloating over and out!

Bugger bugger bugger, did i say bugger?

Why is it when all you want is for someone to call you back, the last thing they do is that?
How come when you're in a hurry, some cunt drives as slowly as possible in front of you?
How come when you plan a quiet night in, its the same night one of your friends has a major crisis, therefore leaving you unable to have your night off?
How come when it's quiet at the bar i work at, it's also the one night when some boring prick sits at the end of my bar and decides they want chatter?
How come no one will ever take responsibility for others behaviour or property?
How come when your brain is about to explode, some arsehole continues to ask questions, even though you've no more space to fit anything else in your head?
and why the fuck, regardless of which phone network you use, do they kidnap text and answerphone messages for days on end, yeah cheers for that?!
And most of all, how come the one night you really need sleep, you can't do so?!

As you can tell, I'm in a foul mood...all of these fucking things above have happened to me this week. Why everyone won't just leave me alone for a day or night, why i'm unable to be allowed to just be, instead of having to be something is beyond me...but one thing i know is that i'm fed up with it.

Rant over!!!

Sleepless in Oxford

I couldn't sleep for shit last night, yesterday I realised I needed to get some things sorted on my car, so set about an early night due to feeling like pap due to my cold and things weighing heavy on my mind. 11pm up in bed with lights out, I was expecting an update from the policemen who was dealing with my case and he's working nights, so I left a message saying I'd be awake until midnight - so didn't feel as though I could properly sleep until gone midnight.
I spent the next hour tossing and turning, finally falling asleep. 2 hours later I was wide awake, tossing and turning again for half an hour. Then off to sleep again but waking every time I turned over. Finally off to sleep, deep enough to dream but after I had my bag stolen in my dream, that was me awake again. 6.30am, as most of you will know, I don't do mornings, if i can help myself but after my dream, I had little option of going to sleep, so decided to get up and get my car sorted - 8am I arrived at the garage to see shock all over my mechanics face to why I was there and so early. He even stated, I thought you didn't do mornings, my response, it's amazing what fretting can cause.

So, I am now sat at my parents writing this and considering to do some cleaning to help, as my ma has been very busy and also away with work.
That's it, fingers crossed it'll pass the issues it was experiencing and I'll be able to stop fretting.

I know for a fact now that my whole week is going to be lopsided and buggered due to getting up early...Grr!

My Rose Tinted Life

So far this week, it's all been rather uneventful, compared to recent weeks but it's been a lot of fun. The way I view life is it's not what happens, it's how you tell the stories of what happened that make life interesting or not.
Hence my requirement to always put a comical angle and a rosy glow to any events, bad or good - at least that way it'll be entertaining for others and most of the time sound like a fairytale - which after all are some of my favourite styles of stories.
So let's start with Saturday night, I know it's unorthodox but playing by the rules is boring.
I originally had Saturday night booked off, due to drinking plans but everyone got busy else where, so I said I'd help at the pub for the rugby...the pub was rammed when I arrived, 3 deep, haven't seen it like that in ages, so set about serving people booze, the first person I served was a rather handsome chap in a rugby shirt, who had hulking shoulders and a cheeky smile - mmm! After the game finished, I put on the only fitting song I could think off 'Another one bites the dust' by one of the greatest bands in the world - Queen! It went down ok, I think everyone was too busy licking their wounds to even notice the ironic undertones of the song.
I continued to help out for a while and then eventually clocked off, with a few pints inside me, drank some more with my housemates and friends, at one point I drank too much (am in the belief the Tuaca makes me go insane, I was scaring people who were drugged up - that's impressive for one who just drinks), anyway, like I was saying drinking away to the point where even when we got home at midnight, I was still drinking - not at any point did I consider being too drunk - god damn, why did I not consider that?!
That night I force fed Roo's girlfriend Red Bull, danced my head off, flushed my half dead goldfish Bob (long live Bob), chatted to Beth and then realised that chuckupvilles was a nice place to visit twice. Finally passed out in bed.
To wake up on Sunday with a hangover from hell, I was literally sick every 5 minutes over the space of 3 hours to the point where I got the fear of dying, at which point I called for help from the housemates, who were fabulous. Cheers Chips and Ninor.
Finally felt alive and stopped feeling sick at about 6pm after a few hours sleep. The house went out for dinner, I had a meaty steak to replenished my lost stock and it was so so good - no wine though for obvious reasons.

Monday consisted of my getting up and going to the capital, everything ran to plan and as I turned up so did the coach, we all got on, I just sat down when the bus pulled away and then slammed his brakes on, to which I heard the sound of a girl falling down the stairs backwards - ouch!!! After a 20 minute delay, the ambulance taking the poor thing off and us being shipped on to a new bus, we were off again.
An hour later I arrived in one of my favourite cities but in one of my least favourite parts of it (god damn Oxford Street - the best thing about Oxford Street is the Selfridges Christmas Windows)..met up with one of works accountants who is a lot of fun, had some sushi (yummy, thanks Azmat), left Azmat and went to an exhibition at The Barbican.
This exhibition is good, very good...although if you're a little prudish, do not attend as it's all about sex and how's it's been perceived through the years through different cultures - the Asian population are right dirty fuckers! It was quite inspiring and also very interesting, although if like me you're single and have no "special" friends, don't go - one of the bigger anti-climaxes of my life, lol. But all in all, brilliantly curated!

Tuesday I woke for a early morning bike ride around Oxford, as always when I cycle by the river, only female rowers, no bulky men - god damn. While in town I purchased some oils so I've no excuse to put off my new painting, like I've been putting off making my new curtains - procrastinating is loads of fun. Did some cleaning, came to work and then went home to join Lezzard and Dave for some crap horror films, no need to leave the light on that night, they weren't even a little scary, although I did scream twice during the first one but I'm a jumpy bunny, what can I say.

Wednesday, work and work, although I did receive one of the best chat up lines ever (I'm a sucker for chat up lines, love the cheesy ones delivered in a hellish cheesy manner and I love the ones that make we women buckle at first hearing). This one was a new one on me but a lovely one nevertheless.
"Your mother must be a beautiful lady" I thought it was nice, although he was quite old, so either he was complimenting me, or trying to chat me up or wanting my mum's number, god knows?! But anyhow, thought it was rather adorable.

All in all, not a bad week so far - fingers crossed for the rest of it, although I originally had a night off on Friday to get wasted but it's had to be cancelled due to other commitments, was hoping to go drinking with The Fizz but she's now got to work, so think I may as well earn money also, at least that way I can afford Kiwiland in February.

Pipsywoo Is...

Pipsywoo Is...getting fed up with her head and how easily her Facebook status has over taken her life.
It was originally a bit of fun, some make me laugh, others are factual BUT...lately, it's become a bit of an 80's rom com gone bad, really bad!

Everything I do, I "Status" it in my head:

Pipsywoo Is:
...making a cup of coffee.
...going to the toilet.
...going out to get fucked.
...listening to motown.
...drooling over a photo of someone.
...at work.
...thinking of something to write here (never had this one before, always have plenty to say, that's the problem!).

But lately, I've been doing the voice over in my head, think a classic episode of 'The Wonder Years', everything I do is accompanied by "Pipsywoo is...", this is not a good state to be in...not at all.

It's got to the point, where I'm finding ways to get around the constant setting of "Is", Pipsywoo is glad that she went out, etc, not good at all.
Am banning myself from a status!

Maybe If I had a proper job where I'm busy from start to finish, like those rare days here, I wouldn't have as much time to think of these stupid things but the case is that I'm told to distract myself if I get bored and that as long as I do my job, no one cares what I actually do - oh, ok!

I am seriously going to re-evaluate my facebook dedication and maybe start finding other things to do but the internet is a rather boring place!

Freaking Old Age

When I was younger, I could sleep for hours non stop, undisturbed sleep easily for at least 10-13 hours a go. I also used to have Sunday bath night (yeah, I'm that cool) I used to light candles, add oils and bubbles and settle in for an hour or two for total relaxation. I used to stay up for 2 days in a row and eat whatever I liked.

Nowadays, I find it hard to sleep for more than 8 hours max, I try but it never works, unless I'm ill. I run baths, settle in for a good hours reading and after 20 minutes I get bored and have to get out of the bath. As for staying up, I like regualrity in my life now and as for eating, I have to eat certain sized portions or I gain more weight then I'd like and I have to make sure I don't eat as many sweet foods.

It sucks being older in many ways but it is also so cool....I'm so more aware of who I am and what I like, am having more fun and don't bother hanging around people who bore me now a days, etc.

Pucker Up!

I've been thinking for a while about how certain acts that we humans do, are extremely strange.
Why do we shake hands? Why do we kiss? Why do we clap to show appreciation? And sex, what on earth is that about?!

The main one that confuses me is kissing, it doesn't appear to really do anything health wise and when the kiss is right, it sends shivers right through you're whole system and makes you light headed, but is that because we relate it to a sexual act, or because of nerve endings and where they are connected too.

I've had my share of kisses over the years:
My first kiss was when I was about 7 years old, it was sloppy and vile, I thought that he'd licked my entire face - horrid! (But thank you Jo, it means a lot that you shared your boyfriend with me for my first kiss).

I've had the tight mouth kisser, when they hardly move their mouth or lips.
The guy who always follow every kiss with a peck on the lips.
The kisser who never used his tongue, ever!!! Literally kissed me as though we were 80.
I've had the kisser who used only tongue, no lips, no warm up.
The guy who had no rhythm.
I've kissed the guy who used the inside of his lips, so it was quite sloppy.
The guy who always tilted his head to the left - pretty awkward!
And the guy who was perfect in everyway, other than his halitosis.

I've discussed this matter with a few of my ladies friends and I think we are set on the perfect kiss being the following:
Lips, full pouty lips with no tongue to begin with, good pattern and rhythm of movement, not too open or closed.
When stepping up a gear, maybe a little more open and a bit of tongue, working well with the rhythm.
When the passion heats up, obviously more tongue and probably a little more open but only when the passion level is right.

I personally love it when the man stiffens his top lip, adore it in fact, but I also love stubble tingle on my top lip, so maybe I'm a little weird.

But kissing, it's awfully good fun but a random act that's never truly been explained!

Some random Kissing facts:
* Kissing prevents cavities and plaque build-up by stimulating saliva production while preventing gingivitis through the calcium present in saliva.
* Kissing stimulates over 30 facial muscles which smoothes out skin and increase blood circulation to the face.
* Kissing burns 12 calories per five-second episode and three passionate kisses a day will help you lose one pound!
*Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) as those that are released when you engage in intense exercise such as running a marathon or skydiving. This causes your heart to beat faster and your breathing to become deep and irregular.
* Kissing stabilizes cardiovascular activity, decreases high blood pressure, and lowers cholesterol.
* Kissing prevents the formation of the stress hormone glucocorticoids which causes high blood pressure, muscle weakening and insomnia.
* Kissing does its part to vaccinate people from new germs. Saliva contains bacteria, 80% of them are common to all people with 20% unique to each person. By sharing saliva with a partner, you are stimulating your immune system to respond to the different bacteria you are being exposed to. The result is that your immune system creates certain anti-bodies to these new bacteria, which in effect vaccinates you against these germs. This process is called cross-immunotherapy.
* Finally, you may not be surprised to know that kissing offers an express analysis of genetic compatibility. While you are kissing, your brain conducts instant chemical analysis of your partner's saliva and issues a "verdict" of your genetic compatibility. Think about it. Don't you know much more about what you like or don't like in a person after one kiss? And kissing is much more fun than taking a relationship inventory!

Info from: http://www.celebratelove.com/thekiss.htm

Personal ads

I'm currently reading a book (yeah I know, a book - reading - me, never thought it was possible, did you?), anyhow, within this book the lady is going through a divorce and she's put a personal ad in a paper. Her personal ad is so precise and rather scary - if I was a bloke, I wouldn't apply...no way.

So, I set about thinking about the things she put in her ad, aren't they things you're suppose to learn and discover during the dating period, the fun things to learn and try to memorise. I'm not sure if any of you (myspace friends of mine) remember but a while a go I wrote a personal ad on my myspace blog (due to friends insisting it's not right for a girl to be single and happy, so I cracked under the pressure and it also made me laugh, A LOT)...I'm sure it'll have changed a little since I wrote it but if I was going to write a hugely precise personal ad, what would I put in it and what would I forget by mistake...I think mine would read something like this:

I like my sleep but normally between 3-11am, I'm a complete night owl. I love to hate daytime tv. I adore bad American comedies that I can ridicule. I love finding spelling mistakes in magazines, papers and especially menus. I'm generally a light hearted girl and relatively easy going. I love banter, am quick witted and have a dark sense of humour. I've the table manners to eat with anyone from the Queen to a pack of wild dogs, other wise known as children. I love the little things, smells, flowers, nature, tokens of friendships, entering a warm cosy house from the cold, sparklers, photography, friends laughter. My friends and family generally come first. I love time with myself, as much as I love time with friends. I like doing crosswords alone, I hate people helping me, unless I've asked them too. I love going outside, walking in the countryside, bike rides, etc but I also adore a day on the sofa watching films and scoffing my face. I'm pretty independent, so you'll need to be so too. I can be one of the guys but don't treat me like this all the time, I am a girl after all. I love to shop for anything and nothing but I hate shopping during the sales. I love my friends and will understand and defend their actions to the skies. I find it very hard to say no, please don't test me, I feel guilty for a lot of what I don't do. I can be a bit of a neat freak. I love high heels but I generally keep them for special occasions or emotional pick me ups. I'm a cynical optimist and yes that is possible. I love dressing up, whether it's fancy dress or for dates. I love eating out and going out. I know what I like and what I don't, if I'm unsure or unresearched I'll let you know. I love going to art galleries, museums and locations with good history value. I'm generally accepting of people's opinions, I may not agree with them but I respect the right to have an opinion. I'm mac based, not pc, therefore I need it simple and straight up! I'm a fighter not a debater.

You see, I could go on but I won't...the only problem with this is that, I've spoilt the first half of getting to know someone, some of these will either be said in conversation, learnt in time or mentioned along the line...it's the whole point of getting to know someone and there is nothing better than the first fight in a new relationship, where you learn more about your than you did before.

I'd rather someone learnt this, I'd rather they didn't know some of it, I'd rather it was found out in the old fashioned sense of the world. Maybe that's why I always go for the old fashioned way and it's probably also why I don't like the idea of speed dating, dating websites, etc - I'd rather just one day bump in to someone, I like the mystery of never knowing when I may meet someone or how I may meet them. I believe in happily ever after and like to hope it'll work out one day, I'm in no hurry for it to do so, just happy to hang about and see what happens...maybe that's why I'm so wary of these places and ways to hurry up such a natural occurrence. Who knows?!

Dancers so tiny

One of my all time favourite songs is Elton John' Tiny Dancers, yes it's a cliche song, many love it, many don't understand it and many just don't like Elton but i find it such an uplifting song, it's beat and general tune is full of hope and life, it makes me want to stand up, dance and shout from the roof tops, it makes me want to experience everything life has to offer in one huge gulp - and why? how come? what is it about that songs that makes me full of happiness? Even when I'm crying my most painful tears I sing the lyrics out loud and bright with a smile on my face.

It starts, climaxes and falls all in about 3.5 minutes, it could end there but for some reason Elton starts up again and continues for another 3 minutes, it's almost like life i suppose, just when you think you're out and done, something happens and you have faith again, not nessecarily when you need that reassuring pick me up but it always comes along, normally when you've just started to pull yourself out of your lull, as you've realised that you're the only one in control.

It also is from that most fabulous film "Almost Famous", which yes i have just finished watching, that film makes me smile and for no other reason than when it first came out, my oldest brother Julian was at uni in York and he phoned me after he finished watching to say that it was a great film and how Kate Hudson's character reminded him a lot of me - not sure if he was calling me a crazy groupie or a free spirit but i still always remember that comment, it was one of the first compliments he'd ever said to me and one of the first times I remember my brother having acknowledged me as an individual, rather than his annoying little sister.
The film also reminds me of the times I toured with the 22-20s, god I miss those guys - they were so talented, still are in fact and such incredible blokes - the friendliest, generous, caring guys, who loved having trusted individuals at hand to make them feel that some sanity exsisted during a crazy period of abnormalness. I find it hard listening to their music now a days, I find it's like listening to a dead person talk, it's an odd peculiar feeling that makes me warm with reminising, happy with fond memories and cold with the memory that it can never be again...so bizzarre.

I've had such a bizarre period in my life recently, I found happiness from within, for the first time in a while - since I clutched to straws. I feel whole again and I feel whole on my own, instead of needing someone elses reassurance.
I've discovered I've some disquiet inside me, some painful memories i wish weren't so, some amazing friends who i haven't acknowledged properly and the ability to make myself happy or sad - it's up to me and me alone.

I'd been lost for a while, since Jan or maybe April, I'd been trudging on, getting through it day by day, i had thought I was involved in life but I wasn't, I was in fact making life happen, because i needed distracting. I feel that when i need to, I'll be able to fall in love again and be able to trust that person, to not use and abuse because it's there or because they are hurting...but because they want to feel loved and be loved and because they couldn't imagine a life without me in it.
I'll find this eventually, one of my rocks from the last year summed it up best, I've just been unfortuante in life to have choosen those who are broken, needing something to lean against and hold them together, until they feel strong enough to go and fix themselves. This I believe and even though some of those haven't been the greatest and may have made me feel worthless, they've also taught me a lot of things about life and myself - isn't that the most important lesson of all?

I want to also forgive those who have hurt me, for their selfish acts and stupid actions through careless thought, I shall do so in the long run but right now, I need to make my most loved feel loved.

I am finally back to wanting to say what I've always wanted to say to people, without fear of ridicule or upset. I'm free to remind these people how special they are and to not put prices on their heads because they feel a need to justify to others.
I want to make my friends feel as lucky as i do for having them in my life. I'm a huge believer in saying things, while you can, instead of a coffin, because you didn't have the guts to say it when you might have gotten a reaction. I thank my parents all the time for having done everything they did and providing me with the childhood I had, I'm extremely lucky and I'm aware and very grateful for that, more than many would probably know.

Sorry for this drivel that started out so promising but when you are feeling happy, content and reflective, you can't help but want to share it with the world.

More cynical bullshit tomorrow. Promise. x

Words worth indeed

I'm addicted, yep I mean truly addicted but not in the proper way, like my mate Luke would be, I mean in a rubbish way. What am I addicted too...well it's a very simple addiction - I'm addicted to words.
BUT, not in the same way others are, strange long words that mean the same as a simple word but show you've a brain and a memory, no I'm addicted to words as in Facebook scrabulous and Bella Crosswords.

Now I know what you're thinking but you can stop right there!

As a child, one of our games on holiday was to try and make words out of the number plates of the other cars, it's a simple game and keeps kids entertained for hours, especially when you're at the age of not knowing how to spell - I won many a time, as my brother had to let me win, I didn't know any better (age card always win). But I still have a habit of doing so to this day, while driving or seeing the odd sign, etc.

Scrabulous is a lot of fun. Friends you assumed would be good at it are rubbish, people who you thought would kick your arse don't, people who are just overly intelligent get non-stop 7 letters but fail at the 2, 3, 4's. etc - it's truly fabulous!!!
I'd say I'm a level pegger, some people I can beat, others anialte me and I have fun the whole time through, as I learn new words, be them all 3-5 letters but never the less, I'm using my brain power.
It's got to the point where I'm apply the number plate game to scrabble, what letters have I got, what can i spell?!
It's as simple my numberplate, is like a bad dream of scrabble tiles - VSISWZV - spell what?

As for Bella crosswords, you may have scoffed (Axl I know you will have but you'll eat your words), they are some of the most random and hard crosswords I've ever done. I took two in to work the other day, Chips and I did one each, they were pretty regular (not fashion, gossip, film, etc based, proper crosswords) BUT... recently, they've stepped up a key. It appears that in monthly cycles, the crosswords get harder and harder and then return to regular everyday ones. They are impossible!

I tried one last night, that was the cryptic bitch crossword, I've posted it below and if anyone can complete it, I commend them. I've challenge many a person to them and no one has done it yet, I even asked the fountain of knowledge on crosswords (The Mother) and to no prevail!
If you do complete it, without help of books and dictionaries, etc - send it to: Aren't you a clever dick!

Hence my desire to know more and more words and want to conquer these bastard people with there scrabble tiles and crosswords in the crappy mags. Damn them!

Crossword from hell

Scabby Elbow!

I have a scab on my elbow, it's all thanks to The Boy deciding he was bigger and stronger than me in The Cellar the other night, so we scrapped and my elbow got scraped down the brick wall...at the time I was pretty wankered, so didn't feel it but the next day, it was all sore and gross.
Every time I touched it or put it on something it hurt...it finally scabbed over, in an impressive form, for a surface scrap, not a proper cut and a few days later, it's at that point where my scab has started to make my skin itch - I really want to pick it but I know that will start off some bleeding or pussing. Normally I'd pick it without thought but it's in an awkward place and was really irritating when I first did it, although it is starting to peel up implying that it's ready for a picking...

So basically the question is: To pick or not to pick?

You're pathetic!!!

There are certain people in this world who should grow the fuck up - they are pathetic, childish and selfish and should take a really long look at themselves, before they start treating people, who tried to be their friends, to a good old stabbing in the front!!!

Although if they grew up, they'd have to take a look at their actions and selves in the mirror and take responsibilty for everything they've ever done, how they've treated people, etc and for some narrow shouldered people, that's far to much weight to bare, oh well off to the shed with a length of rope. Put us all out of our misery, you waste of space and air!!!

How dare you think you can upset my friends? Try to upset me, that's fine but never shit on my friends, as they are kind caring and don't deserve your actions - no one fucking does!
My favourite fact is that the one person, who you claim to love is who you're shitting on most, (i hate to say this but..) he deserves it, we did what we did for him and him alone but he couldn't see the wood through the trees and foolishly followed his heart...turning his back on a loyal best friend of many years, who'd have done anything for him. The only reason I think he deserves it, is how he's treated that said friend since all your shit hit the fan...if he'd ever been a friend to him, he'd never have said or acted how he has. Being blinded by love can only be responsible for a certain amount and he excelled that, a long time a go. Poor boy will have the shock of his life, when he finally sees you for who you are!!!

If you do happen to ever want to grow up or learn from this, note two things - there is no such thing as a free hot dinner and never shit on your own doorstep!

And always remember, never get to sure or cocky, as fate has a funny way of making sure everyone gets what they deserve and your comuppence is just around the corner.

Why won't everyone just fuck off!!!

So far today I've been rude and blunt to someone on the phone, been asked 50,000 times why I'm not going to Reading Festival, sworn a lot at many a traffic light turning red (fucking bastards), got pissed off at someone as they wanted to know if their artist was a)still at our studio and b)awake. And made a promise to myself that if I ever got the chance, I'd run over one of my best friends ex's, because he's a fucking CUNT!!!
So yes, I admit it, I am in a foul mood, really foul mood and I don't want to snap out of it, not at all, i am revelling in it and loving it, a lot!
There are many a reason to why I'm in such a horrid mood, mainly because I am tired, so tired and fed up - work and life seems never ending but this is nothing to complain about, I'm being paid and enjoy my jobs, so that's fine.
I moved house last week, am still knackered. I don't live in cardboard city anymore, which is nice but I still haven't had any time to chill and do nothing, I've had half an hour or so here or there but nothing more.
I've also had the mild stress of cleaning the old house, what fun, etc, etc, etc - the list is endless, right now it is but it'll stop very soon, which i can't wait...it's all cool.

Now to explain my being rude to someone on the phone, the guy fucking deserved it...it's so socially inept that he doesn't have a very nice phone manner and he's never thought about changing it, so in my eyes i'm doing a service to others who have to talk to him. He never says "goodbye", i mean this is basic polite conversation - what the fuck is up with that. And he also starts the conversation with "Hi it's George", as if that's going to make me fall to the floor or rush his call through sooner or do some other amazing shit, just because it's George and secondly, why the fuck doesn't he start the conversation with what the fuck he wants, rather than who it is - he's always so awkward on the phone, i hate answering the phone to him, oh so much!

The traffic lights explain themselves, bunch of conspiring motherfuckers!!!

As for Reading, if anyone else askes me why I'm not going, I'm going to simply answer "Fuck off, that's why!".

How the fuck do i know if her artist, yes HER artist is still here - i arrive at 10am, most artists don't wake until lunchtime and secondly, can i see through fucking brick? No i don't think i fucking can - so fucking phone your artist and find the fuck out!

And as for my best mate's ex, he best fucking watch out the next time he's walking along the Cowley Road, I'll happily get points to knock him flying - god being run over really is too good for him, torture is even too good for him, i hate him so much...more than anyone else...which I'll get back to later.

Right now, the one thing that pisses me off more than anything is presumptious people, i find them more rude than ignorant people - fucking cunts!!!
A few of my beliefs on often brain patterns for presumptious people:
You've done it before, so you will again and because you've done it before, you'll feel awful at the idea of saying no, so you'll do it - taking advantage, fucking cunts!!!
I'm foreign, I know I shouldn't presume but I will, as we can blame it on cultural differences and then you'll also do it, because you're too polite to say no - Cunts, fuck off!!!
You've always done it before, so I'm not going to ask if you need help or take any initivite for your sake, you obviously enjoy doing it.
I'm a cunt. I can't be bothered to take responsibilty for my actions, as I'm a cunt. I have no real friends, as I've spent my entire life lying to myself and my friends, so stand there with a pan and brush, while I shit on my own doorstep and then you can clean it up - spineless, lonely CUNT!
And my all time favourite: I'm a fucking cunt and know you're nice, so I'll deal with it, you generous foolish prick.

These are some of the cunty actions I've had of late, of absolute and utter cunty pricks who have decided to take advantage of me, because, god knows why, because I'm nice, because as long as you've never fucked me or my friends over, I'll treat you how I'd like to be treated, fuck knows but I hate them all and wish a huge selective bomb would wipe them the fuck out!
Above are a few, there are others but I can't be arsed, I'm in a bad mood but I've discovered the weirdest thing lately and I don't know where to file it, other than Limbo, which I hate as I call it a cop out. But you'll have to be a friend of mine my myspace to read that, as it's far to personal for here.

Rice

Now Surely, Uncle Ben would be rolling over in his grave, if he knew the makers of his rice were making it convieniently for the microwave?
Now I suck at making Rice, it's an art form of which I can't do but I still think microwave rice is really, really wrong!!!

Yonks

It's been fucking ages since I wrote a blog last and I won't allow Axl to complain to me, so here I am typing away, just to not be whinged at, like I do he, when he hasn't emptied his brain.

So today, i didn't get an acknowledgement or thank you from two arsehole drivers, for letting them come through my right of way - fucking arseholes, how hard is it to just hold your hand up for 5 seconds - Pricks!!! These sorts of mornings are what make me believe that bird flu, is a good idea. Wipe out a large collection of the population and hope that most of those written out, are the inbreds and incapable.

The ignorance of two people and the fact that no matter which direction I drove this morning, there were 500 other arseholes all with the same bright idea, as me! I felt like I was Truman from The Truman Show, when he tries to escape and all the cars keep on pulling in front of him...although, as far as I'm aware, I'm not on a TV show, anyhow I hope I'm not, as there are things I do, that I'd hate for anyone to witness, it's why I do them in private (these things I talk about, are not sordid little things, thank you Axl). They are things like picking dry skin, my nose, plucking hairs, etc...things which are just unpleasant to see.

I'll tell you one thing, Vlad the Impailer had the right idea too. He invited all of the lame, lazy and disabled to his house for dinner one night, while they dined, he locked the doors and set fire to the place, I know it's a crazy quick solution which may not be the best way to get people off their arses and earning a wage but it is an option of sorts.

On a less mental, crazy point, than I am right now - all of which is due to my self righteousness and these two arsehole drivers. Which came first Morals or law/rules? This is one of my favourite debates to have and this coming from the girl who doesn't really agree with debating as there isn't enough emotion involved.