Sud de France

I have just come back from my first holiday in a very long time and I feel overly relaxed and at peace, omg! Just in time for my tonsillectomy, not so ideal but it is so...

We stayed here on our first night: Les Iles D'Or
It was a beautiful area of the Cote d'Azur, the sea was incredible, so clear and warm. I highly recommend it, there isn't much to do in the area but there was a delicious restaurant with very friendly staff and amazing food with a fabulous view of the cove. The B&B was charming and the landlady was awfully generous. She didn't speak much English and we spoke 'petit francois' but never the less we managed. She also ran us over the mountain to our Campsite the next day, stopping halfway up at numerous times to allow us to take photos of the view.

For the rest of our stay, we were staying with Eurocamp at Camping Pachacaid. We were fitted out with a fabulous 6 berth state of the art caravan, all mod cons and were welcomed by the Eurocamp staff in fabulous style.

After swimming, sleeping and drinking, we headed to the bar where we drank with the Eurocamp staff, after which we were invited to join them for their 'Eurocamp Christmas' on Wednesday night. I won't go too far into it but after celebrating Christmas with the Eurocamp monsters (legends) I've never seen Rowan so drunk! He fell over and couldn't get up, it was all rather funny and entertaining, in addition no long term harm came to him.

The only photos Rowan and I uploaded to the social media world were miserable faced photos, which kept everyone entertained, while we sunned, laughed and drank.

We visited La Mole, which is a small town near to the campsite. Not much there and no one took debit/credit cards, which made life difficult. Luckily the campsite was well equip.

We popped to St. Tropaz also but it stank of piss and had little too it. I recommend a trip to anywhere else than here. However I did take a panoramic shot of Rowan enjoying a beer in the sun there:

We spent the last few nights in Cote d'Azur at the Camping Les Palmiers, this was akin to camping at a nightclub. I wouldn't recommend the site, however the beach was extremely nice and we spent most of our time here. The caravans were cramped and uncomfortable, all in all, it was dire and tired. Everything evolved around the reception, which meant we spent most of our time queueing due to the total lack of organisation or consideration to efficiency. This didn't dampen our spirits though, we'd had a truly lovely holiday and would highly recommend two out of the three places.

We would also recommend the entire area, everyone is so friendly and relaxed. The bus drivers are not in hurries and the bar staff will allow you to finish drinking, instead of trying to kick you out as soon as they want to close.

It was bloody lovely and I can truly see why people would retire to there.

Craig the Hula Boy

At the weekend, while in Wales, Rowan's Brother in law and Sister were telling us about Craig the Hula Boy. I think I've found my new hero!

A short conversation

Rowan to me: "Do you still have those scummy old trainers?"
Me in reply: "Which ones?"

Happy Go...

The beautician who gave me a massage on Saturday kept on saying "Happy Go Larry"; I didn't have the heart to correct her but also I didn't want too, as I really liked it. I now like to think there was a massively optimistic guy which is where the saying "Happy Go Lucky" came from and he was called Larry. Maybe he lived next to Riley?!

Sir Robin Arryn

Every time Game of Thrones heads to 'The Eyrie' and the little bitch that is Sir Robin, all I see is Spleen from 'Mystery Men' walking around the screen!

 

Pregnant Emails

This week saw the greatest email from a good friend of mine arrive in my inbox, it was about her recent scan of her baby. It had me in so many stitches that I cried with laughter:

"Ok so we had the 3d scan on Saturday, which I didn’t enjoy one bit, in fact I totally disliked it, it made the baby look really odd, like an old man.  Benjamin Button came to mind!

One thing that you can tell from the piccies is that it basically looks the same as the husband, there is none of me in there at all! I would normally have to concede and admit that this was a good thing, however we have all seen the nieces that have “that” nose, I think history is repeating itself!  Oh well at least this time it will be mine and I'll be immune to how unattractive it is……….."

My only response was this:

"Firstly, please remember that all babies are generally born with the same squishy nose so you need to calm down.

Secondly, it/they/he/she will be the most beautiful baby to ever exist, or at least that is what you will both think and we will all agree accordingly, because we will also love and adore the little blighter.

Thirdly, you are the funniest person I know. This email reduced tears in my eyes and for that you rule like a mo fo!"


Roll on every scan from here to delivery...

Tonsils Go Bye Bye

I'm very pleased to announce that my referral to ENT was a positive one and I was approved for a tonsillectomy, this is a huge relief to my good self and will bring me, hopefully, a painless future (other than the initial couple of weeks post the operation). To be honest, I'm a little apprehensive, I've never been to hospital and stayed on a ward, I've never gone under general or local anaesthetic but they are all trained specialists and they do it daily so I'm sure it will be fine.

I do feel a little sorry for the nurse who took my bloods today though, as I was hot and dehydrated and passed out on her - one moment I was telling her that my hearing had gone and the next thing I'm being carried by two men (I think they were men, there was definitely one guy involved) to the couch. As I came round, it had gone from being just me and the nurse, to us and an additional 6 people - apparently they were my fan club, I didn't realise it was so close to home, I feel rather blessed.

I know the NHS get a battering at times and of course they aren't perfect but they have always treated me right and I think they do a fine job, a difficult job but a fine one none the less.

Introducing Mr & Mrs Bent

These two lovely people got married today, it was a rather bloody lovely day all in all!

Battersea Park

I went to Battersea Park today, I recommend it whole heartily. It was very pretty, has a large pond, children's play area, water fountains, band stand, yadda yadda yadda, you get the drift but seriously it is a pretty cool park, if you ignore all the idiots on the hire bikes...

I tried to take a multiple of one photo using the iPhones panaromic setting but it kind of failing, resulting in Rowan being normal to one armed to fatter to half a person.

When it works, it's awesome, when it fails, it's entertaining!

The Gower

Over Easter weekend, Rowan dragged me kicking and screaming to his homeland of The Gower Peninsula, Wales. I got to meet his Mother also, the big 'Meet and Greet', luckily his Mum is bloody lovely, as is her dog, Phoebe, who constantly wees on Rowan, much to my delight!

We had a very nice chilled evening on the Friday night hanging with Sue and Phoebe. I unfortunately wasn't able to get a photo of Phoebe, but she does this adorable pose which makes it look like she's smiling - I will get a photo next time, without fail!

Saturday saw us heading out to Tenby, we got rather near it and hit loads of traffic, just at this time Rowan's friend "Jim Tones" suggested we park at Saundersfoot and walk along the coastal path for 20 minutes to Tenby...so off we set. 20 minutes into the coastal path we realised something wasn't quite right and carried on, 40 minutes later we met some other walkers who asked us about the length of time to Saundersfoot, we had to let them down that it was about 45 minutes, they broke the news that it was another hour to Tenby.

Halfway to Tenby

Castle Sands, Tenby

One hour later we finally reach beautiful Tenby and it is really very nice...I highly recommend a day trip to the pretty sea side town. We purchased some Rock, ate some delicious Mussels, walked along the Castle Sands, looked at Caldey Island. I was ill prepared and not wearing enough layers, so due to the wind being fierce I requested that we didn't climb St Catherine's Fort at least this will leave us with something to do next time. Rowan bought some Caldey Island chocolate: made by Monks don't you know.

We headed back to Gorseinon and went to join "Jim Tones" for a Cider/Ale Festival on Wine St, Swansea. I'd heard a lot about Wine St but due to it being a Bank Holiday weekend, Wine St was pretty quiet and no fights were witnessed, much to my relief - no valley boys, kebabs, fights, etc!

Sunday witnessed us heading out to the Gower to see the life of Rowan's younger years. It's extremely pretty, I was shown a Giant's grave, a man made lake, a huge hill, the view (below), a trip down to Three Cliffs Bay and in through the valley past Pennard Castle.

Mumbles Pier in the distance

Three Cliffs Bay

Pennard Castle from a distance

That evening saw our trip end with a rather heavier than I had expected trip to the pub to meet the infamous Sam & Jess, our walk to the pub included this pretty little dance from Rowan along the way...

Babies Babies Everywhere...

Everyone I know is having a baby, therefore I've spent the last month or two crocheting away in baby blanket world...here are a couple of them that I have completed/started:

Above is one which I completed with a scallop edge for Rowan's sister, who is due in June.

Below is one which I've started in a rainbow effect for one of my best friends who is due in August.

I've also spent three days cutting up all of my remnants into quilting squares; I now have a large tin of quilting squares that I shall make an oval quilt for her new crib. I'm all rather excited all in all. Roll on more babies.

Such Views of London

Rowan was asked to house sit in Swiss Cottage on the 21st floor in a high rise for a week, I of course accompanied him and boy am I glad I did. Not only was it a lovely home, the views were spectacular!

Krakow, Poland

Over the weekend I went to Krakow on a hen do, it was a rather fun weekend all in all and I'm now basically fluent in Polish, it's a pretty easy language to pick up...if you ask me. I'm unable to report anything here, so I'll leave you all with a little innocent short montage of Krakow...

The Hen and her sister have a heart to heart

The hardcore doers party on...

Even the bottle corks are happy in Poland!

Dover

Rowan and I needed a reason to get out of London (well who doesn't!) so we had a random thought to head to Kent, I'd never been and he wanted to see the White Cliffs of Dover, so it was settled that we would head to Dover. One high speed train and one episode of Game of Thrones and we arrived.

After a little walk around, Rowan acquired a new film camera from one of the charity shops (£4 well spent), we headed to our B&B (Hubert House) to book in, the B&B didn't open until 4pm so we headed to The White Horse next door. The White Horse is a rather adorable little pub which is covered with swimmers names and times from swimming the Channel. We eventually checked in and set off for our walk along the cliffs...

Rowan and I had set a challenge to take the most dull photo possible, the photo has to be a decent shot but boring as hell. My dull photos are mostly on the camera film (which is yet to be developed) but some of my boring images are below...

I feel that they are perfectly dull and appropriate for our competition. I'm very much looking forward to the film being processed, it's unfortunate that the film is Black and White, as that always makes things slightly more interesting, damn it! Have a fence and horizon to boot!

We took a nice long walk over the cliffs to St Margaret's Bay, where we enjoyed a pint to reward ourselves. We then headed in to St Margaret's on Cliffe to find some food and an eventual taxi home. 

We ended spending too much time talking to the regulars and nearly got locked out of our B&B, luckily we made it back just in time and folded ourselves in for a restful night slightly drunk.

The next day we woke early ate breakfast and then headed back to bed, well it is Sunday afterall. Eventually we had to leave, which sucked as it was all rather nice tucked up with a warm breeze coming through the window and ventured out into the real world, we opted for Dover Castle and some tea drinking.

I can not recommend Dover Castle enough, there was plenty to look at and do, excluding the War Tunnels and Hospital Wards, which were also extremely interesting. English Heritage has renovated the castle to be similar to how it was at the height of its hey day, the roof is also open for you to enjoy the vast views of the horizon. We ended up spending 4-5 hours there all in all and as we left, I signed us up to English Heritage as members, this of course needed to be celebrated by telling my parents; who promptly ignored my text message.

Shortly after we finished there, we headed back to London; one day we'll get to spend our hours exploring and doing no work, one day...

Scottish Céilidh

I had a random invite to some Scottish Céilidh, which was obviously something that I was going to attend, therefore this evening I found myself in Whitechapel surrounded by trainee Doctors dancing to a live Scottish band.

It was an experience, that is for sure, who knew so much energy would be required to run and swing...I'm pretty sure that it was created due to it being so cold up north and they needed to keep warm at all times!

Below is an action pack shot of some Céilidh in action...

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I'm going to see 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' this evening with the Boyo and am very excited!!! Eek!

I've loved Wes Anderson, since I first watched 'The Royal Tenenbaums' and was extremely excited when I heard he was making 'The Grand Budapest Hotel'. Roll 8:30 pm this evening...

I'm unable to embed the video, so watch the trailer, it's worth it!

Languages

I was sat on the bus the other morning listening to some Polish men talk and I started to think that I'd like the capacity to understand all spoken languages, then I though 'well, if I can understand them, why not wish to be able to speak them also?!' which is completely understandable, if you ask me.

But then I thought 'if you hosted the ability to understand and speak all of the languages in the world, how long would it take to scan your brain to identify which language were being spoken?', therefore I decided that possibly being able to talk and understand a select few would make more sense, although how would you judge which ones? Bearing in mind that during the 90s, I would have chosen French, German, Spanish and Italian. I'd never have guessed that Russian, Mandarin and Polish would become more relevant. Therefore, if we were having wishes granted, would it make more sense that you can review and add accordingly every few years?!

And now I'm completely lost, but I guess there is no fear, as granted wishes don't exist and it would take me forever to learn one language, let alone numerous ones - this is based on my inability to speak French, after five years of studying of course.

However, dreams are very nice things...

Quentin Shih

First Date Review

My date on Friday was pretty bloody great! I was full of nerves when I left work, I'm not generally a nervous person, so that was irritating. I arrived at Seven Sisters station and then stacked it on the escalator, spilling the contents of my bag up them (I nearly lost my mega sexy M&S granny pants also, luckily they stayed put in my broken bag), for some reason this stupid accident made me feel much better and all my nerves evaporated.

I ended up running five minutes late and received a text from 'Spazzy Jeff' (username only) saying that he was there and by the condiments, in my typical fantasy world, I assumed that meant the pub was set out in the style of a shop (yep, because that makes complete sense?! I really do wonder about myself at times). My main worry was how do you greet a stranger who you've been talking to, luckily he had this all in hand and that instantly made me feel better. Although, the first thing I did after meeting him was go to the lavatory, when I came out I asked him "did you get worried that I'd climb out the lavatory window?", way to make a guy feel comfortable...I obviously know all of the best tricks.

It was all rather easy, after the initial awkward chit chat and first couple of drinks. He picked a pretty good pub, the 6 nations were showing, funnily enough it was his team, Wales, who were playing, what are the chances?! It was a good game and half way through he planted me with a big old smacker. In typical verbal diarrhoea fashion, post kiss I blurted out 'I thought you'd be a soft touch and not kiss me for ages'. After this it was rather plain sailing...we even discussed the 1001 things not to mention on a first date, always a good sign that you're on a similar wavelength.

We had a few more drinks, SP suggested we moved on, I got us off at the wrong bus stop and we walked around the back of Farringdon/Angel for a while (this didn't seem to bother him, which I liked, although he might have been playing it very cool and was fuming inside, if so, he is a very good actor). We finally found the road we were looking for and popped into a pub (that I've walked past numerous times and never visited) and had a proper banter session, I won't say about what, it was extremely crude and very funny.

After this, we went to a late bar and had some more banter, conversations and drinks. SP suggested that we head to where he originally wanted to take me (before I got us lost) and I suggested that due to it being rather late, we could walk around the city, which we did. We ended up south of the river and I wanted to know everything he's ever thought and felt. Needless to say that our date turned into brunch. I know, you're not supposed to emerge yourself in someone so quickly but we just seemed to click and I didn't want to go home.


We had a second date on Sunday evening in Greenwich, I got to see some of Greenwich, as I got off at the wrong stop, doh! and I also got to see the Cutty Sark, it's only taken me nearly three years to get anywhere near both places.

SP took me to Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich. It was a fantastic evening, with some brilliant comedians. The highlights were the compare, who was rather quick witted. The first guy who was from Granada and was upset that Granada isn't known for anything cool, just Nutmeg; he wants to become the Nutmeg King. This was very funny and I'm explaining it abominably! A girl who's act was a hyper chatty hairdresser and a vegan comedian who said that all phrases were generally biased against all vegans, as most of them are about harming animals, leaving vegans with only "You can't make an Omelette!".

All in all, a blinding weekend.

Random Almond

There was a huge almond on the seat next to me tonight, it was mammoth. I wondered if someone was afraid to eat it due to its size and left it behind. They didn’t even leave a note – the poor thing. It was suggested to me that I should have taken it home to plant…I don’t think Hackney council would be happy with that. But what if it was a bean (disguised as an almond) and now I’ll never get to climb the stalk to the castle?! Although this is probably a good thing, as I’m afraid of heights and have poor upper body strength.

You win some, you lose some!

First Date Fear

I have had the arduous task of reformatting a spreadsheet of over 2000 entries over the last few weeks at work. I've been listening to the eight hour biography of Johnny Cash while doing this, it's been good company, other than the first 20 minutes which spoke of June Carter's death, which caused my eyes to flood, which meant I was unable to see the screen properly to format correctly - curse you, you silly real life story and my achilles heel of crying as soon as death is mentioned, grr!

It ended today with Johnny's sad demise and death, this also caused numerous tears, god damn I am weak! Yep, more tears were shed! I remember the first time I heard 'American Recording IV', I'd been at Courtyard for a few years and we'd received it from Island Def Jam through the post. Bryce and I went up to the living room for some time out and upon first listening, as soon as Johnny opened with 'Bridge over trouble water', Bryce and I had had our fill. Who knew that a few months later, we'd be playing it on repeat?! Hence the classic, "don't judge a book by it's cover" and "don't let first impressions cloud your judgement", which are both so much easier said than done...

This entire tedious intro leads me to my main purpose for writing this evening...I'm filled with a mix of emotions, most are exciting and crazy immature balls of energy, but others are nervous bubbles of gas, which could and most probably will burst out of me at the wrong time, causing some strange noises to occur from my mouth...arhjbgbiejgn riogkregnegm! For an example!

I have my first proper date tomorrow evening. It's the first since, oh God knows?! Umm, 2009? Possibly Summer 2009. OK so it's not extra long ago, but it's long enough to have forgotten and therefore be filled with dread about a first date. All I can remember is how awful all of my previous first dates have been, I keep on trying to remind myself that it's just drinks with a future friend/future stranger, but then the excitement bubbles and all turns to shit. The main reason for my fear is that, and I know I shouldn't and deep down I don't but I feel that possibly I should do so, I'm listening to other people's fears. FOOL! I know, I know! I try my best to ignore them, I always have, ever since some bitch told me at the age of 11 that I'd forgotten to put something on, in the changing rooms and I retorted "What? My bra? Why would I wear one, when I've nothing to hold in place?!", she then exclaimed loudly that I was obviously a freak - I think we all know who was the real freak!

I've done my best to be me via messages and I feel that we have good rapport, or possible good rapport but those with weak dispositions have started to imply that his banter may not be as good and as lively as mine in person and therefore the date could be frightful. I stifled the concern for long enough but I've now allowed it to consume me....follow that with random 'far too comfortable' texts from me about 'coats made of the skin from my previous dating website counterparts' and 'dead family hunting trophies' and I think if he does turn up, he may be clinically insane. Fuck!

Damn you insecure, extra weary, lovely but foolish people who I love! Damn you all! Why couldn't I just carry on living in my mad, wonderfully Disney world where we wacky people find our own kin through the strangest of circumstances and just get on.

Maybe, he is, as I keep on reaffirming to myself and others, a casual guy who doesn't sit on his phone and is that laid back (unlike a certain person I know, where you would have thought his phone was an extra limb of his) and he just responds when he sees it, rather than waiting and instantly texting back. Therefore he is banterous and a good time, it just appears rather staggered through the medium of text. Yes, this is my sunny disposition clinging to hope and god damn, I'm going to cling to that fine fine strand.

I guess, the worst thing is that within 24 hours, I will know and what will I have lost?! An evening where I would have been sat at home, instead I'll be sat in the pub with a stranger. This is as bad as it can get and that is what I need to remember. No date will ever be as bad as sitting in 'The Duke' in Oxford on a Sunday afternoon stuck talking to a perfectly pleasant but dull middle age man about the same topics of conversation which we had covered the day before and this is what I need to remember. I've already talked to the most boring people I've ever met. Nothing that this guy says or does will be as random as I've seen or heard before, unless he takes off his sock and sucks his toes in the pub, that would be pretty random...and if he is just actually that boring, then I've a new story to tell to current and future friends.

Yes, I may be tempting fate but fate, I tempt you. You've always been rather kind to me, so I implore to you, please be kind once again. Until this time tomorrow, Adieu!

In the mean time, have a little cry to Johnny's last video:

Dear Old Granny, Died 15th January 2013, Mounted 15th March 2013

Rudi, my office's Roe Deer

This morning, I was thinking about the mounting of dead animals on walls as trophies, which is a rather odd thing to do. I was then thinking about whether you could do a similar thing with human skin, as we do with animal hides bearing in mind they are both living organisms, therefore being able to do it with one and not the other seems rather odd. This led me to think about Gunther von Hagens (aptly nicknamed Dr. Frankenstein) and how he’s developed the art of preserving human tissue by plastination. Therefore, one day, mounting your dear old granny on the wall could be a possibility.

 

Although, the main difference between mounting an animal hide and a human would vary, due to the fact that creating the mould for animals is relatively simple, as even if it’s not exact it still looks like an animal. Even really bad taxidermy has it’s charm...even if they don’t look exactly like the original animals (I’m finding it hard to stifle the laughter and keeping a straight face as I type)?!. 




The perfect Coat Stand?

How hard would it be to make the mould for dear old granny, bearing in mind that every face has a 1000+ different feaures and points which make them so individual and if we did start to mount family members on the wall, would there be a heriarchy of good to bad taxidermy and would poorer families accept piss poor versions of their dearly departed?! Or could we get them posed and they could become handy items of furniture around the house?

Also, would the mould need to have a softness about it, or due to the plastination would it be hard and would this also detract from the initial facial features, etc.?

Maybe I need to write to Gunther...I think answers are required.

Tangent Time: I went to see Body Works when it was in Brick Lane years ago with my Mum and once I had gotten over the initial shock of it (which was set off by one of the slices of human having a tattoo, which brought back the fact that they once had reletives, lives, thought and movement), I found it fascinating and wanted to go back around again. I definitely recommend it to all who are mildly interested in biology and the human body.

Accidental Chocolate Brownie / Tart

One evening I was making Chocolate Brownie for a dinner party, that I was going attending, and realised at an extremely late moment that I'd run out of Caster Sugar, so I added extra chocolate instead. It didn't cook properly due to the consistency being too wet but it did make the most delicious chocolate brownie tart thing. 

Due to the London Tube Strike, I was unable to come home to collect it for my dinner party, so I took it to work the next day and it's now a firm favourite with my colleagues, although I'm not sure if it's a firm favourite with their waist lines. Try it, trust me it's scrumptious!

Ingredients:

100g (4oz) Unsalted Butter

300g (12oz) Dark Chocolate

100g (4oz) Plain Flour

100g (4oz) Caster Siugar

2 Medium Eggs

1 tsp. Baking Powder

1 tsp. Vanilla Essence

Instructions:

Melt the butter and chocolate together.

Mix the remaining ingredients together.

Add the melted butter and chocolate to the remaining mixture.

Place the mixture in a greased dish and pop into a pre-heated oven for 30-35 minutes at approximately 200c / Gas Mark 5.

Take the chocolate brownie/tart out when the mixture is still kind of moist / wet in the middle and leave to cool.

Once cool, cut and serve with Vanilla Ice Cream or Clotted Cream.

Enjoy!

3D Letters

I made this for a friend's birthday, it is made from 6 layers of foam board, stuck together, then covered in newspaper and PVA glue.

I laid the material on with double sided sticky tape, to ensure that I could reposition if need be and to ensure that the fabric wasn't ruined with glue.

Where will the craziness end?

Confession time. I have now joined 'Plenty of Fish'. I’ve done it, I’ve joined an online dating website. I swore when I became single last summer that the one thing I would never, ever, ever do was join a dating website. I swore blind, while sober/while drunk that I couldn't even comprehend the possibility of joining something that only "desperate people" turn to and look at me eating my words by the ladle!  And worse still, glup, I’m enjoying it! Oh the humanity!!!

After playing with Tinder for a couple of weeks, I’ve gotten bored of not really being able to see anything about the guys, not knowing what they do, like, think, etc.. Now don’t get me wrong, playing ‘hot or not’ will never get old but being someone who is all about personality and loves a good laugh, I need to ensure that these suitors have a sense of humour, some intellect, the ability to string a sentence together and use basic grammar, etc.. It even appears that some of them are lacking basic life skills: the ability to maintain a conversation, sensing written inflections (ok, I’ll allow that this is hard to pick up on when two dimensional but come on...). These are things that I cling to in everyday life, the blood and soul of basic human interaction. I guess maybe my big problem is that I'm a very physical person; I'm very verbal and expressive and like to be able to see and hear how and what people are saying. Obviously, I'm a master with words, can't you tell?! But my one love is conversing with others when the communication just flows and is natural. Small talk and forced conversations are the worst!

 

So, Plenty of Fish, how is it treating me? I joined on Wednesday evening with help from Rupert, who has previously been on there and he has given me some male pointers. But Rupert struggles to express himself through the written word and as we know, I do not, so some logger heads were met. I think I've summed myself up pretty well...I've added a disclaimer, well if all else fails, add a disclaimer, that is what they say isn't it?!

 

Last night, I had a little peruse and messaged a couple of guys. Just as I was about to log off, I spotted a nice looking chap, so I messaged him and happened to use the word 'diarrhoea', I was trying to explain my verbal dysentery when I feel awkward but in doing so, I also raised a not so pleasant image. Well if nothing more, at least I will be memorable.

Tinder - it's a strange new world!

I downloaded Tinder last week, well why not?!

It is the strangest addictive game of 'hot or not' that I've ever played. I think I've said yes to about 200 guys, which is unnerving, also unnerving due to letting my married friends play with it, therefore I've had random messages from men I've never seen before. Thanks "dearest friends"! I guess they were getting their own back for my constantly saying that every guy on there looks short or freakishly tall!

I was talking with Tom about it on Friday, who is also on it, and he recommended that I use a profile picture which features a Roe Deer, apparently most girls on there have constantly pretty photos, so to have something a little random means the guys will take a further look - I'm pretty sure that those two days were the worst for matches. Plus, which guys (who feature on Tinder) are actually going to bother to look further? And, do I really care?

I've had a couple of messages from some nice looking guys; one was a little too soft and nice, which isn't my kind of thing. The other seemed to be going rather well but I was a little too drunk to be conversing with anyone! Funnily enough, that conversation ended rather early...damn me and my afternoon of drinking post a long walk. Oops!

On Saturday afternoon I was speaking to a barman (Jo, 29), who was also on Tinder. It appears that everyone is on there, who knew so many single people existed?!

On this note, I spoke with Viktorious last night about it and was saying how I originally believed that the whole of London was made up of married people - everyone on the tube and in all the pubs (who I find hot) are married. I'd convinced myself that everyone in the universe is in a couple, apart from me. Now Tinder has made me believe that everyone is single. It's a total mind fuck, just like life generally.

Anyhow, this barman was in the belief that it was nice to talk to girls but he had no interest in ever meeting up with any of them, due to so many friends saying that none of the girls they'd met looked like their photos. I hope this isn't true, as that is pretty scary...I guess the whole thing is pretty random and strange. Additionally, according to Viktorious' housemate, a lot of the girls on there are dull as dishwater, which at least gives me one bonus over them - you couldn't fit more personally into one body. In fact I think doing so, is considered a personally disorder...

I've also been advised to not start the conversation with those who I am matched with, as that implies I'm only up for getting laid, can that really be the case?! I've messaged some of the guys anyway, well yolo (please note that is the only ever time I've used that (my first and last), I had to think about how you'd write it, although that might be the hangover talking?!).

Basically, I'm even more confused than before I'd ever seen or knew of Tinder - oh so confused! I swear being single wasn't this difficult or addictive previously...

So...

...as predicted, my Dryuary ended pretty much with an unhappy friend but the exercise is continuing, in one form or another. As is my productivity.

I made this little beauty a few weekends back. A tutorial will follow soon.

The same weekend I made this, I finally saw a ballet. I saw 'Le Corsaire', which was very good. Although I had expected them to sing for the first fifteen minutes, which was rather confusing. Plus, the lead guy chose a 'ho' over his 'bro', yes his bro was a douche but still...he'd only known the girl for a short amount of time.
I'm very much looking forward to attending my next ballet. Yay!

I've not been up to much otherwise; a huge walk on Hampstead Heath this weekend just passed, various birthdays celebrated and endless nights chilling at home. Everything is rather pleasant! (that's not me gloating, it's me being very grateful for this blissful period of my life. Thanks universe!).

Macdonald Gill

How fantastic are these maps!

http://www.macdonaldgill.com/

Certain hurdles in the abstaining...

Life sometimes throws you little hurdles, which you either jump, run into or run away from.

Yesterday I saw a friend who has been having some troubles in her love life, which meant that I had to take wine for her to cry in to and you can't allow a sad girl to drink wine on her own, it just isn't right. So I had to consume a glass of wine or two... It's not my proudest moment and I did feel bad but that was more because of her situation, rather than drinking the wine. Of course, I'm a good friend, not a crazy person!

On the upside, I'm finally getting to go to the Ballet on Saturday. Hurrah! It's been a long time coming (at the age of 4, I wanted to be a ballet dancer) but for some reason, I've never gotten around to going. I guess I hoped someone would take me but it never came to fruition. I can not wait! I saw an opera in Venice with my mother years ago but the ballet just seemed to allude me. It's only recently that I've been thinking of things I've always wanted to do and not gotten around to doing, and this popped back in to my pea size brain, and I've seized that moment/chance/opportunity (delete as appropriate).

Golly, men in tights with strong arms, lifting waif like girls to beautiful music - what isn't to like?! And it's been suggested that we ladies wear pretty dresses. I love getting all pretty. If you can't tell, I'm terribly excited!

Roll on Saturday evening:


In fact, it's a fab weekend all round. On Sunday I'm going here: Ice Sculpting Festival
Which brings me to another thing which I've had on my list to do for ages and not done: visit Canary Wharf! I've been to Isle of Dogs arena but never quite made it to actual Canary Wharf. I'm hoping to see this also:

It will all be finished off with a big serving of home made casserole with cheese dumplings - roll on 4pm tomorrow, when my weekend starts!

Anxiety Dreams Already

I had an anxiety dream last night, where I was offered a Gin and Tonic, accepted, drank it and then remembered that I was supposed to be abstaining - at which point it was too late, oh well was my dream theory - really rather typical of my good, committed self!

Earlier today, I bumped in to my mate, Glen, and told him that I was trying to abstain from booze. Stating that it's not for health reasons, it's more to see if I'm able too. Based on the fact that I used to drive everywhere and not drink and stay out all night without a drink and have a great time, and I'm interested in whether I can do this again. I also stated that my main problem with this is that I actually like the taste of booze - I love the wheaty fizzy freshness of beer, the round soily flavour of Malbec and the sweet gooseberry notes of Sauvignon Blanc, not to get drunk but for the taste and this is what I worry about.

Especially, as when I saw Glen on the street, the first thing I asked if he fancied a quick pint and a catch up - FAIL!

SHHHIIIIITTTTTT (said like Clay Davis)! This is going to get tough!

Dryuary

I've set myself a little task: I am going to try to abstain from alcohol for the whole of January - I know, I'm one of ten million desperate winos who are trying to not drink for the first month of the year, how cliche! But I haven't not drunk for a period of time, for at least 6-7 years, and feel that I should challenge myself. I guess, I have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm three days in and was going strong, until I was given a bottle of wine at work today and now I've painted two walls in my room and I'm desperate for a large glass of full bodied, earthy, ashy, thicker than thick red wine to reward myself with, I want one so so badly!

And I've also been invited to a 30th birthday party on the 18th - this is going to be much harder than I initially contemplated...bugger!

New Year Resolutions

My New Years Resolution last year was to read some of the 'classics' and it is probably the only NYR that I've kept too and enjoyed!

This year, I've decided that I will keep on reading classics, obviously as there are 100s of books left for me to read, but 2014 marks the year of finishing all projects which I've started and given up on.

I realised the other day that I haven't truly moved in to my room, the wall which I intended to paint is still green, my clothes rail is still held to the wall with wool (from where my clothes tore it down), I haven't painted my chest of drawers, etc...the list is long for my room alone, let alone the rest of my projects which I've squirrelled away and ignored, instead of completing.

It's finally time. I don't have a boyfriend to blame for taking up my time, so why the hell not! I've started to pull them all out from the wood work and will be setting to it asap. In fact, I've already completed my new clothing rail, although it bows in the middle due to holding too much, so time will tell but it's an excellent start at least...

My Year of Books: Various

I've read various books since I last updated. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, Five Quarters of the Orange by Joanne Harris and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Quirk Books.

To Kill a Mockingbird was incredible. I saw the film when I was a teenager and remember enjoying it but I had never read the book until now and I'm now wondering what took me so bloody long. It is a wonderful read, which sums up the relationship between the adult and child worlds, the conceptions of both worlds from the opposite points of view and also captures that period of time in Alabama and the racial tensions which existed.
I may have shed a few tears and also gasped aloud on the tube ride to work in the morning but it was the kind of book which I got incredibly wrapped up in and wanted to carry on all the way to Brixton, so I could continue reading it, rather than go to work.

Five Quarters of the Orange, isn't exactly a classic work but I wanted something slightly lighter to read and my housemate suggested this. It wasn't really a light read but it was a very good one. Although, I'm not exactly sure that I had the right amount of compassion for the main antagonist.

I'm currently reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is Pride and Prejudice rewritten to incorporate zombies (one of my favourite topics). I wasn't 100% convinced that it would work well but it does exceedingly. It has been both entertaining and well considered, as well and kept to the original storyline without detracting. My only criticism is that the cover makes the average person give me a raised eye brow, when read in public spaces...

Veggie lifestyle

My housie is a vegetarian, well a vegetarian who is coming out of being a vegetarian slowly and rarely eats meat, therefore most of our meals are vegetable based. Which isn't an issue obviously, it's just strange eating such little meat and so many vegetables.

I've always tried to eat lots of veg, but it was hard when living with Tom as we'd have a couple nights out a week and what we had in the house would go off, etc. and now here I am, getting more than my 5 a day. For the first time in 10 years (since leaving my parents home) my body is a temple! Well it would be if I got my arse back in gear and went swimming or running.

Earlier today, while making a 'shit load' of curry, I dropped a tin of tomatoes on my keyboard and now my laptop has a dip in the middle. Oops! but at least all the keys still work - hurrah!

My prediction

I'm making a random prediction about a situation and it won't mean anything to anyone, other than two dear, dear friends: 4th August 2014...

...and if I'm wrong, I just look like a right dick and that happens most days, so ce la vie!

The next gig at my local Train Station?!

I wonder how much it would cost to get Carly Simon to play live? Let alone, at my nearest Train Station, or Dock, or Room? Maybe, it would be like the film 'Little Black Book' and she would just appear and sing?! Or maybe life is just 'Working Girl', where Carly's songs just crop up constantly?!

Here's to wishful thoughts...

Kolmanskop

There aren't that many places in the World, that I'd love to visit. In fact, I could probably count them on both hands:

China - to see the Terracotta Army and Great Wall of China.
Japan - just generally but mostly for the architecture and impressive scenery.
India - Taj Mahal, various festivals and food.
Iceland or Finland - to see the Northern lights.
Tuscany and Greece - food, sea and scenery.
and I'd like to drive across North America and around Ireland.

Saying this, doens't mean I wouldn't like to go to other places, I just really want to go to these places.

BUT

I've now seen Kolmanskop and I think it has to be added, right near the top. It looks haunting. I remember seeing it in Vogue some years back in a photo shoot and thinking that it looked remarkable.

It's kind of unbelieveable, haunting and enchanting!

A conversation with a disgruntled 70 year old man, otherwise known as my Dad

This is a snipet of the typical telephone conversation I have with my Dad -

Me: Hi Dad.

Dad: Oh hi.

Me: I’m coming home this weekend!

Dad: Are you, why?

Me: It’s Grandma’s birthday.

Dad: Is it?

Me: Yes, it’s been her birthday on November 3^rd since her birth, in the 20s.

Dad: Well no one tells me these things?! (this is his own mother, we are talking about, bloody men!).

Me: I think we’re going to hers and eating Fish and Chips.

Dad: Oh joy!

Me: I was calling to talk to Mum about logisitics.

Dad: I’ve no idea where she is.

Me: Oh right.

Dad: It’s not like we make plans and she then buggers off and does her own thing.

Me: Ok, well I might come home on Friday, you can tell me all about it then?!

Dad: Will you want picking up from the station?

Me: Possibly, will that be a pain?

Dad: Depends. How about you call when your mother is at home?

Me: I didn’t realise she wasn’t when I initially rang, it’s not as though she has a gps and I’ve got a tracking system?!

Dad: Well she’s not here.

Me: Ok, love you.

Dad: Bye.

Ooops!

A few years back, my old housies bought me a 'whiteboard clock', which meant we could write away, erase and redesign...when Tom and I moved to E1, we wiped it clean and had every visitor add a little something. When we broke up and moved on, I wiped it clean for a new start and it's been hanging in my room, plain, for a few months now...

...I finally decided what I wanted to put on it and wrote away, one spelling mistake and I tried to erase it, ooops! a permanent marker...bugger!

Worse still is probably the thing I was writing was a little personal/uncool/funny/bloody marvellous. But the mistake made it so much worse...a lot of scrubbing and the top layer has dissolved and I now have a dirty whiteboard clock. I need to repaint it but in the mean time I continued with my redesign, which was a very simple lyric:

"...and getting caught in the rain, if you're not in to yoga, if you have half a brain. If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape..."

Good damn, Rupert, you were one cool muthaflipper!

The end of BST sucks!

This week, I have mostly been tired! I hate the last week of British Summer Time so, so much! It's horrid. Dark, damp, windy and tiring...I can not wait for Monday morning, a sentence I would not normally say, no matter what the circumstance.

A friend was saying the other day that she doesn't think we should change the clocks. I highly disagree. I could not survive Winter with mornings like the last week of BST...it would be nightmarish and scenes like this every morning would make me most depressed!

And I'm not a depression kind of girl, I'm a 'happy go lucky, sunny side up' kind of girl!

Roll on 2am on Sunday, I shall be saluting the sun rise and extra light with both hands! Plus, winter evenings are extremely enchanting and magical, especially with all the fairy lights that Christmas brings.

My Year of Books: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

For a small rest bite of new books, I picked up one of my old favourites. It's taken me about a week to finish...good damn, Douglas Adams was a wonderful writer!

If you haven't read it, do! Enough said!

My Year of Books: The Beast in the Jungle

I picked up this novella due to packing a small handbag one day, after I'd finished Frankenstein and I'm so glad that I did, as it's wonderful. It's by Henry James, who I've never heard of...sorry literacy fans, as I've stated before I'm uneducated and rubbish with books and classic works.

The Beast in the Jungle is a short story about John Marcher, who has a constantly dread that some spectacular event will happen to him. It opens with John being reunited with May Bartram, who he met ten years earlier and shared his secret with. I don't want to give too much away, as this book is wonderful. It's a lovely read and has such charming sentiments, I'd highly recommend to anyone. Especially those who aren't quite sure what is expected from life or what life is all about...

My Year of Books: Frankenstein Pt. 2

I've finished Frankenstein! Now I have two friends who sit firmly on both side of this book, one loves it and the other one thinks it's pointless (I guess, similar to how I feel about Anna Karenina), I sit somewhere in the middle. I really enjoyed it and never tired of it but at the same time it was relatively long winded and I felt certain parts weren't as conclusive as they could have been.

Regards though, I'd recommend it to everyone, as you can always skim read the long winded parts.