Our house, is only ours right now!

My small crazy life in Oxford has got so simple, it's started to repeat itself.

About 4 months ago my housemate was invited to a housewarming. It was at a house she used to live at, she couldn't go in. It was the house where she'd lived quite happily in with her ex, she couldn't face it, paint job or not and I totally understood why...

In 2006 I moved in to a house that my friends had previously lived in. In fact one of them refused to come to a house party there due to not wanting to see it in a better or different state to that of which he lived - fair enough I thought. But alas, tomorrow about 5pm I'll be calling at 34 Aston St.

34 Aston St is a house that I moved 3-4 people into, in about 2004? I fell in love in that house. I laughed, cried, broke up, made up and experienced life in that house, sometimes with 5 other people, sometimes with just one, who don't live there anymore, have nothing to do with it now but I did those things there. The mortar probably remembers the fights, the fun, the conversations but the people there don't...isn't life weird?. In fact I believe that the awful curtains I made, still remain (they were only awful as I hoped to stuff the buffer with cardboard to make it stand up, opps never mind?).

I remember listening to Van Morrison (and I mean "Listening") for the first time in that house. I also remember knocking my, ever so cocky, ex out of a game of Poker in that basement (some other people remember this too, it was so funny to us.), I wonder if when wandering around the house I'll feel anything, shivers of the past, etc? Probably not but it's still a crazy idea that someone I know, lives in this house that has represented so much in my past?! Mental Crazy.

Scrap Scrap Scrapping the barrel

My colleague from work kind of fancies the Parcelforce guy, I can see where she's coming from but I still miss our old UPS guy (yeah it's a cliche but he was hot!!!), even though he did leave about 4 years ago...I still pine that one day he'll turn up to our office and ask me to sign for a package (and no I don't mean like that, you dirty pervs!).

I've heard Radiohead' "Idioteque" too many times today, it's making me feel like an Idiot!!! I've had to watch various Youtube clips of the song played live for work and I can't take it!!! It's a little like when I had to watch loads of live footage of them and write the setlists down - oh my god by the end of that week, I was in a crazy trance. It's possible that the band do keep hidden messages in their songs but I very much doubt it, I think it's as simple as they write very complex, very simple and very beautifully awe inspiring songs! Although I don't want to hear Idioteque for at least 5 days!

I added that new thingy, where people claim to be my readers. I've toyed with this idea for a while, as it's a little narcissistic to do so, but then again, writing a blog in the first place is majorly narcissistic! So I bit the bullet and added it, after a month, when I only have one fan (thanks Axl) I'll delete it again.

I'm a spreadsheet queen, have started to finally learn how to use Excel at work, it's an odd, en-genius and stupid programme, grr!

I should be perfecting the petty cash, so I can't be pulled up on where the 5p that's missing is but I can't be arsed.

I went running the other night. I haven't been running in years and I'm achy! I'm going to attempt to run twice a week (i said attempt) and see what happens. I'm more of a cycler than runner but at the mo my bike is up shitter (need to get everything replaced, i know they'll suggest that buying a new bike is cheaper but Flo is going no where and she'll get a little makeover). It was quite nice being out for a run but the muscles are not happy about it, time will tell...

It's the weekend and I'm working everyday. Ginge and I are running the Pot tomorrow night, exciting. We were hoping for it to be dead and to shut at the normal time, be extra amazing cleaners and leave by 1am but there is a dj night there, so we'll be finished about 2-3am - boo! Nevermind, at least I'm working with Ginge, who is a funny fucker and good fun! It'll be good, regardless. We'll get to the Fir Tree one night and get hammered.

Talking of pubs, I also need to go drinking in The Busty Ricycle (Rusty Bicycle) it's the old Eagle on Madgelan Road. Been revamped and the drunken lowlifes have left for the Donnington (I guess). Apparently it's like the Oxford Blue but without the students, about time if you ask me. Hopefully they'll keep the prices up and the students out - am rather looking forward to it, there is nothing like judging a new pub on first impressions and whether you can get drunk, listen to good tunes and enjoy yourself all in the one evening.

Stan, nice to meet you

I really want a friend called Stan. So I can say "Good plan Stan". Simple but would keep me entertained for hours.

There was a question the other day that cropped up at dinner, which had us baffled. Is The Tudor Court more inbred than East Oxford? It's a hard one to answer. Although there was one point made, when incestuous in Tudor times, it was instant death if caught out, where as in East Oxford, it's idle gossip.

I watched American Werewolf in London last night, more of a comedy than a horror with an awesome soundtrack, so good.

I also watched The Orphanage, it was such a great film. Not so much horror, more a thriller but really good, defo recommend. Go and watch it!

I was doing some of my family tree with The Queen at the beginning of the week, it's rather good! Her great aunt married in to the Whittard's family. A second cousins of hers married in to the Sarson's Vinegar family and that her mother's guardian was the founder of Jones and Higgins (which was a huge department Store in Peckham back in the day) - not bad for my little old family. Although most of this was back before the 2nd world war and about 6 degrees of separation.

Am totally in love with Stately homes, as always. Am hoping to visit Warwick Castle this Summer with little Faith and Hazel and also want to take a Day Trip to Sudeley Castle. I think my desire has come from watching too many period dramas. May have to start watching some futuristic films now to make up for it.

Also, has anyone else noticed that loads of people who started blogs, have just stopped! Some I've checked on are coming up to a lonely year of no blogging. I know I went MIA for a few months but I'd still pop in and leave some drivel occasionally, poor little blogs, probably not sure what they've done, maybe there should be a "lonely blog councillor" to help them through it?

I returned home last night to find one of the best presents ever! Chips had bought me a frizbee but wait, it gets better...the slogan on the sunshine yellow frizbee is "Smile, Jesus loves you". Yes he does but will he love my inability to throw or catch? I guess time will tell and we'll have to wait for the sunshine to find out, if it's another rubbish Summer period, I'll take it as a no, he does not like my inability to throw or catch.

Would you like to...

Last night, I heard the term "gender equality" about 10,000 times. Now I'm all for the chances we ladies have had since the Suffragettes fought their (and ladies around the world) corner, I'm extremely grateful. But I don't believe that men having manners, should be considered as gender inequality. Just because a guy says that a lady can go first, or offers to open the door for her or offers to buy her dinner, doesn't mean that he's being sexiest. He's just showing manners.
I find it entertaining that you have some ladies who complain about how it should be 100% equal for men and women (I personally don't think it can be. Men get some benefits we ladies don't and vice versa) and then also complain that chivalry is dead?! If you want equality, pay your own way, don't expect doors to be opened and don't expect any special treatment.

In other news, I've finally fine tuned why I hate the way Politicians talk and it turns out that it's also the reason why I dislike a lot of do-gooders. Both types of people make "statement questions". This is when they are stating something but do it in a questioning manner and then wait for a response, so they can in fact "correct" you? i.e: I've noticed your car is still running, do you think that is environmentally friendly, aka turn your car off.
It's a little like how, some, females are known for making "question orders", i.e. Would you like to do the washing up? Would you like to cut the grass? They are in fact requests/orders but in the form where it's open to discussion.

I hate how people are excited about British Gas cutting bills by 10%, ooo! So after the 35% increase in November 2008, it's now just a 25% increase instead - wankers!

Randomly, I've discovered that "Bundle" (as most Oxfordian's/Southerners know it) has many names, mainly relating to where you grew up. Now "Bundle" for those of you who don't know, is when someone is on the ground and everyone else jumps on top.
It turns out that most Northerners know it as "Pile On", Australians know it as "Stack On" and some people in Northampton call it "Dog Pile" (don't ask about this one, I've no idea?). I always assumed it was "Bundle" now my eyes are open...

I want one...

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box

A month or two ago I found myself on our sofa at 3am with my housemates Chips (We both work at pubs and don't generally get home till late, etc), we were browsing through the music channels and came across the below video.



My first question was "Is this an advert?", then it was pure disbelief "Surely not!" and then three minutes seemed to last for ten.

It is one of the more disturbing things I've seen and so so wrong!!!

It's a blanket but with sleeves!!!

Julie from work kept on getting emails advertising the blanket with sleeves, no idea where they got her email from. Every day the same cry would come from her desk "I don't want a blanket with sleeves".

And then, while browsing through www.jezebel.com they were also commenting on the very same thing! 

I think it may be one of the best uses of Carmina Burana ever!!!

What a nice new boot

Last night I worked at the pub across town. I drove there as it's tres cold and also I had some stuff for the pub.

No parking spaces as usual, so I park outside Floors 2 Go. The car park is for the shop but it's 8pm at night and the shop is shut, so what's the problem? I had a slightly funny feeling about parking there but didn't know why, I even joked about being clamped when I arrived at work. I also touched wood about 1000 times (and no not like that?). 

Midnight comes round, we finish work early and off I head to go home. Alas, not just yet. My car has a lovely yellow boot on it's wheel. One phone call, 20 minutes and £125 later and I'm on my way...gutted! I was lucky that I had money (normally don't at this point in the month) and that the clamping operators work 24 hours a day, otherwise I'd have been truly screwed!

Why did I tempt fate? Why did I park there regardless of my dodgy feeling? I've no idea.

I've parked there loads of times before, I thought the signs were there then (turns out they weren't), I also thought it was a deterrent, rather than a promise. It transpires there is a new owner of the land, who doesn't want people parking there at night, day or any other time?! Wanker is what I say. Mr Clamper said he was "an utter tosser", nicely put!

According to Mr Clamper, I'm the happiest person he's ever clamped in his life. I didn't see the point of making his job any more miserable than it has to be or to be hysterical, what is the point?

I choose to look at it in a whimsical way and be up beat, all I lost was £125 (No, I can't afford to loose it but it could have been a lot worse).  I mean I've parked in some dodgy places before, where I should have either got a ticket, towed or clamped and haven't, so it's almost like an all in one pay out on getting away with it for 8 years. Plus he could have towed me, that would have sucked and cost more and due to there being no regulations on clampers, it could have been way more than £125!

Yes it sucks, I'm now poor and I'll have to wait another week or two before I can do what I wanted to do with my money but it could be worse, loads worse, my car could have been stolen, set on fire, vandalised, towed (these are all car related worses, I didn't want to be too dramatic with the whole "I'm in good health, so are my family and friends", I mean there is a time and a place). I'm now working my arse off at the pub this week to pay for the clamp....good times! Only shame is they don't let you take the boot home after you've paid for it.

Durex

It's possibly one of the funniest and most disturbing adverts I've ever seen:

Barbie Couture

As a child I was a huge fan of Barbie. Was never that interested in dollies, sulvanian famillies, my little ponies, etc, it was all about Barbie.

I loved how she could be anything and everything (even though, she mainly stayed at home, went shopping and would occasionally lie naked on top of Ken) and always looked amazing, even when wrapped in a plastic bag and sellotape, with a short pink felt tip pen hairstyle.

I longed to buy a special Barbie, there was one who was a compere and wore a gorgeous black dress and long gloves, I dreamed of owning her and still do at times, although I'd never be able to find her now, she was a collectors edition back in the late 80's, god knows how much she'd cost now.

Due to Barbie being 50 this year, there is loads of stuff about her in the press. The lady who originally designed her, I was led to believe did so, as she thought it was horrific that young girls only had dollies to play with, therefore instilling in them that they should be mothers and not much more. This idea, I adore (whether it's true or not).

I found this link: http://www.vogue.co.uk/celebrity-photos/gallery.aspx/id,418, which shows all of the designers who have also fallen for her charm and designed outfits for her.

Happy Birthday Barbie, may you have 50 more but please don't loose any more weight, in fact maybe gain a little more, that would be nice.

Pippi Longstockings

Pippi-Longstockings was one of my nicknames as a kid, although after watching this clip, I'm hoping it's not the reason...

Lost postcards

Around this time last year, I visited The Tate Britain. Before I departed I visited the gift shop (I don't normally do this, costs way too much money). I've a small love of cards and postcards, I adore them in fact. Can't help but buy them. I've banned myself from Scribbler, as I normally spend £30+ upon most visits. My walls are covered in framed pictures and cards, I'm unsure how people live with bare walls...

Well anyway, while in the shop, I came across some gorgeous postcards that struck a cord. There was one in particular that I loved, it's this one above (it's John Sargent's Carnation Lily Lily Rose).

The upsetting part of this story is our love affair ended a few hours later, as I went to the Oxo Tower to meet a friend for drinks, showed him the postcards I'd bought and when I reached home there were no postcards.

I'm not sure why this painting attracted me, there was just something so beautiful and enchanting about it. One day I'll go back to the Tate and purchase the same card, maybe I'll find it somewhere else, I mean it's a pretty famous painting, so who knows? But I do miss it.

There aren't many things I miss. My friends and family who have passed on, I miss. But friends who go on travels, etc I don't miss so much. With nowadays technology, it's near impossible to truly miss someone, which is nice. Although even before this, I never really missed people, things, etc. I'm not sure why but I'm more about the here and now, than the past or future. I acclimatise quickly to new situations and changes, maybe this makes me cold hearted or just peculiar but I've always been this way. I think it's just easier and better sometimes to accept the hand you're dealt and deal with it best you can.

 

Maybe I have just been privileged to have the parents, up bringing and chances I've had, to make it so I've never had to go without very much or to really truly suffer. Or maybe it's just that I'm not a big dweller, I'd rather get over and on with things, than sit and dwell. I was once a victim for a short while and after this pitying time I realised I'd never wanted to be this person again. Rose tinted glasses always make life a lot easier, with the whole "everything happens for a reason", "what goes around comes around" and "you get what you give" being common phrases in my mind. Maybe this is the case, maybe it's not but I always try to treat those, how I'd like to be treated. This at times has made me a doormat but it's also brought some of the most incredible friends, people and chances to me, more than I could have ever wished for. Which I'm extremely grateful for.

Dudes into Studs!

I was just trying to look for a photo of some classic 70's male modeling, to show my friend the true art of the hand half in the pocket and I came across this fantastic photo and slogan.
And just as the slogan says, it truly does turn these dudes into studs.
What magical jeans!

aka Bridget Jones

Tomorrow night I shall find myself eating our house "Christmas" dinner (minus one housemate).

I thought originally it was going to be my housemates and me. Then there was talk of them, the girlfriends and me, then the chef said he'd like to invite some others, I thought maybe to make it not so uncomfortable for me, how sweet...not at all, in fact he wanted to invite another two sets of couples?! Oh rightio...

It's another fantastic Bridget Jones moment:

This isn't the first time I've properly experienced a Bridget Jones moment and it won't be the last. I've spent most of my life single, I actually find life easier and more comfortable being single, bringing others in to your life, just makes things complicated. And what you know is always the most comfortable.

I left my Bridget Jones comment with Dave. A few days later, the following conversation ensued:
Dave "Am thinking of inviting another couple of people to our dinner?"
Me "oh, yeah who?"
Dave "Chris and Tony"
Me "Are they both men?"
Dave "Yep"
Me "Gay? wondered if you were going to really finish off the irony of my singledom around a dinner table"
Dave "Nope, just some mates of mine".

So, no gay couple to finish it off with a cherry, just a couple of guys. One of whom Dave might want to set me up with. Which makes it worse than just being couples and me. Fix ups are so dire...am going to attend to drink and eat, maybe get some "good" conversation, who knows?! And am going to embrace my Bridget Jonesdom in full English style.

But bless Dave for trying to make it easier...so sweet.

Untitled

It's nearly 2am and I'm sat in my bed writing a blog?! I've been trying to sleep for about an hour now and my brain is skipping, jumping, twirling, dancing, pole-valuting, questioning why I've said something or didn't say something and I can't take it anymore, so am hoping that by emptying some of it here, I may be able to find some peace, just maybe, nothing more.

I'm finally readjusted to my Oxford life. I went to this beautiful magical Christmasland for 6 days and it made me feel shite upon return, as my normally shiny positive world, appeared tarnished and not so shiny. In fact it seemed pretty empty and lonely...I guess being surrounded by people for 6 days and returning to an empty house would make anyone feel like this but add the fact that all of my household are loved up, adds for lonely times. Plus most of my close lady friends are all loved up also, bar 2 and I'm in for a lot of male friends or singleton times.

I'm ready to fall in love again but all the guys I meet or seem to get involved with, only want fun times (I'm an easy going, fun release from their seemingly up-tight recent ex's. As if I've no emotion or desire to be more than a fuck buddy - cheers guys!), or they aren't quite right for me. But there is a shiny silver lining, I have finally put my rose tinted view on the matter that the more shitty guys and dates and bullshit I have to put up with, the more incredible the bloke I finally meet will be - I'll apply small amounts of hope to that one though.

I was asked the other day what my desert island disc songs would be? I always say that these sorts of lists are impossible and that they'd have to be written for right now, not tomorrow or yesterday. As new songs effect, old ones resurface and others get new meanings but there are some songs that would appear, maybe not in a years time but right now, I could happily die after listening to all of them in a row (please don't test this though, as I really like living and being alive). I'm not sure how many songs you get on desert island discs (normally I'd research but I just want to write, I just want some ease of thinking).

My instant answer to said question was Rolling Stone's Wild Horses.

My next suggestion was Radiohead's Last Flowers (I love it but I may replace it with True Love Waits, I've loved it longer and doesn't rip off the riff from Karma Police).

The Doobie Brothers' Give me the beats boys, sung by Bill Withers.

U2's With or Without you.

Queen's The Show must go on.

Lucky Jim's You're lovely to me.

King of Leon's True Love Way

And finally, Cinematic Orchestra's To build a home.

I think that would be it, nothing fancy, randomly, no ladies present?! But a nice set of lovely songs, that could keep me smiling all day long.

In other news, I hate New Years Eve with a passion, so will be willing it to pass as quickly as possible, while at work*. Although my resolution, if I have to have one might be to either actually stop biting my nails, instead of not bite them for 2 months and then massacre them in one weekend or to correct my posture, who knows?! 

* I know I said about this time last year I would not work this new years eve and actually attempt to go out and enjoy myself, well I failed. No money, means time and a half looks good. Plus I'd probably stay in and with my state of mind at the mo, it wouldn't be such a good idea.

Austen in real time

I was asked the other day, if I had to compare myself to a Jane Austen character, who would it be? 

I stated how I loved 'Northanger Abbey' but more for Mr Tilney, than Catherine, who in one simple sentence is a "fantastical little girl with no grip on reality", although at times my fantasy life is far more interesting than reality.

Then I said I quite liked Fanny from 'Mansfield Park', due to the fact that she is intelligent and likes a moral living, with an underdog tone but she's also downtrodden and slightly to shy for my liking. Although thinking about it, maybe not - she's quite dull at times.

Maybe I could be Elinor Dashwood of Sense and Sensibility but then she's rather dull at times also.

I've the wit and determination of Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice but she's too gullible and believing in everyone with no even judgement.

My actual response was "most of Austen's characters are exaggerated for obvious reason, so maybe a mix of all of them". Alas I've come home and now know the answer. I'm Anne from Persausion. The one who lives for helping others and has learnt to put her own needs last. I'm not a martyr or anything like that, I don't think I'd change a thing even if I could, I just don't see why I should help myself when I can help others. I don't see why I should sit on my arse, when I can actively help those who need some help.

And if I've not entirely her, I'm a mix of her and Elizabeth Bennett. God knows?! Maybe I should stick to my original response?!

Can't get them out of my head...

I guess that title won't help most of you, as you'll all start singing Kylie, well that's kind of the point of this post. I've songs stuck in my head and the more I listen to them, the more I sing them and crave them. It's like pregnant cravings but for songs, instead of food.

The songs are:

Bill Withers - Give Me The Beats Boys

Lady Hawke - Magic

(The above two are thanks to Chips' latest mixed cd he sent me, I love getting mix cds)

Ryan Adams - To Be Young

Van Morrison - Bright Side of The Street

Bruce Springsteen - Blinded By The Light (my house mates love me singing this, honest they do. OK they really really hate it but tough shit!)

& Kings of Leon - Revelry

Mainly the two top ones are the biggies that I keep on humming, in fact I listened to Bill to get me in a better mood to have to clean the studio (it did the trick), am loving it so so much! It makes me really happy, as in big dappy smile on my face happy.

In other news, I'm dining out with the ladies tomorrow night, an evening of drinking, food and good company. Apparently there is also karaoke - oh deary me, my poor poor friends, I like karaoke and attention when I'm being a moron, they'll never get me off it, once they get me on it, poor fuckers.

I've also had to buy an indestructible camera. Now I'm good with technical equipment, especially for a lady but I've had not a lot of luck with cameras. I like to take photos, I enjoy taking them and lately have been found without. Last Christmas, I had a bulky Fujifilm camera for nearly a year and my friend while drunk dropped it from a height, opps! Death of Camera 1.

Roll on Jan 08, off I go to the sales and purchase a shiny Pentax (Camera 2), it was lovely and still is. A little technical blip at the beginning of summer saw me buying Jessops insurance (I recommend this highly, it's cheap and lasts for 3 years. Covers everything except theft & maybe loss.), September comes I go to the beach and sand destroyed it. Off it goes to the fixers, comes back a month later still screwed, off it goes again, a month later back in time for a blow out party. 2 weeks later and it's screwed up again, I guess someone kicking a large glass of Red Bull over it, didn't help.

Jessops here I come and they also spotted that the lense is back to front and were impressed it focused, etc for photos. While in there, I joke about buying an indestructible one and then ended up doing so, as my Pentax is going to be away for the whole of xmas, which sucks.

I'm now living with an Olympus and apparently it's waterproof, sand proof, life proof basically! The chap in the shop has buried it, played catch with it and thrown it in the washing up bowl - I think I may be safe, finally, from killing this one!

It's this ones big brother. But this advert annoys me so much! (Rant below)

I hate this kid, he needs a beating! If I'd even considered doing something like this to equipment when I was a kid, I'd have had my arse beaten raw, ok maybe not but the point is, that at a young age I had respect carved in to my mind and therefore wouldn't dream of doing anything like this. I know I shouldn't take this advert so literally but it really winds me up, as for the mother too busy gassing on the phone to even notice the behaviour of her brat of a child - Grr!

"Give me the beat boys to free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock n roll and drift away....la la la"

Is it really December?

I don't feel festive at all...spent yesterday and today in London with my cousin. She lives just off New Bond Street. We walked down there and Regents Street and it was all festive, lights lit and fake snow lined window displays and yet I've still got nothing.

I've bought my bottles of wine for staying at Bizz' family home and have most of my presents and yet, still nothing...let's hope it kicks in by the 23rd!

I did intend on buying some presents down in London but ended up buying myself some new clothes (all sale found) and some new make up. Also we were going to visit the Christmas fayre in Hyde Park but made it no where near...to busy gossiping and gasing. Times are hard.

Last week I was on stage with Supergrass at Shepherd's bush Empire. It was amazing! I smacked a cameraman in the face with sweets, I didn't mean too (sorry Mr Camera man). After distributing the sweets and rubber items, I had to dance on stage?!!!! Oh dear, I'm an awful dancer but had some fun anyway. It was hard not too - 2500 people having fun, confetti bombs, friends and good music - some times it's hard not to enjoy yourself!!! Was amazing! Definitely one of the best things I've done this year! Plus I was totally sober!!!
Someone filmed it, I'm the girl on the left or stage right - whatever! (They played a punk version of Once in Royal David's City.

The next night I went to see Kings of Leon with Lianne. They were fab! We had passes, not sure what they were for but we had to leave due to Paddington being on the other side of the capital, grr! Not like I would have used them anyway?! I didn't really know any of their crew, other than the head of their security and he would have been busy.

In other news, everyone should watch a film called Superstar - it's funny as and you'll all then be exposed to the 'fax machine' and the 'moving on' dance moves, they are pretty special!

In fact I've found some clips:

I can't find the moving on - shame!

Am hoping my festive spirit will arrive soon - maybe if I wore my garish Christmas dress, it will work?!

I'd rather go to the dentist

Firstly, the wedding was lovely. It wasn't as much of a slog as I thought it would be. I didn't drink and am glad I didn't. It was a lovely occasion and I'm glad I attended. It was a lot more intimate than I thought it would be, which makes it more special.

I didn't make it in to the pages of Hello!, shameful on their behalf really but what can you do?

After my horrid bout of cold last week, I've no developed Tonsillitis.
Now this may sound random but I get it all the time, not as bad as this but pretty bad. I always thought when I got a little swelling on one side of my throat, it was a gland but according to my father, it's tonsil based. Which means one of them flames up at least once every two months.
When I was younger, I used to always get it and the doctors always fobbed me off, with the whole "if you get it again, we'll take them out", I had it about 6 times in one year and every time, we'll do something about it next time - they never did.

Anyway, I always thought it was a gland swollen, not my tonsils, so normally ignored it and after a few days they'd go away. I'd feel fine, other than the lump, so would carry on regardless.
They swelled up on Sunday, both sides which is quite rare for me, bloody painful and gross, so I slept a lot! Did nothing. I went to work last night 7 hours of pub work and at 9pm a headache kicked in, was awful. Came home after work and passed out, still headachy at 3am, same again at 6am, same again at 7am, at which point I went on a hunt for drugs! Found some paracetamol and codeine - these brought my tonsils down and finally got rid of the headache.

Woke up this morning rough as sandpaper and feeling pap. Now the reason I'd rather go to the Dentist, is my Doctors surgery is horrendous! If they answer the phone, you get arsey receptionists who don't want to book appointments and don't want to be bothered. Once you finally get an appointment, it's for 3-4 days time. If you're still ill then and make it to the surgery, you're kept waiting 30 minutes past your appointment time by hypochondriac old people and then the doctors normally tell you that it's a virus or that a couple of paracetamol every four hours will do the trick?! I hate the doctors, I never go. I personally think if you're well enough to go to the doctors to get sick notes, you're well enough to attend work. I'd rather get my teeth drilled than go to the doctors. I'd rather get a huge bill off my dentists, as even this is less painful than trying to attend the surgery.

I went to Tesco' pharmacy, thought they might be able to give me advice. Immediately I got the horrid lady (there are two and one is lovely and one is cold hearted and rude - I think she's in league with the surgery's receptionists). She told me to go to the doctors, I told her I had no time and by the time my appointment was made they'd have gone away, she sold me Ibuprofen - woop!
I went to see my parents, they'd a stack of old medicine and low and below an old bottle of Penicillin - yeah! So what it's it's 15 years old, there is enough in there for at least 9 days worth. My dad was a little apprehensive but I don't care. It hasn't cost me loads of hassle from the doctors and it's free. If it doesn't work, I loose nothing and if it does - added bonus!

I mean, I eat rotten fruit and veg with the mouldy bits removed and out of date tinned food, etc - what's the difference between that and out of date drugs?

Pff!

I know it's wrong and that I should feel very privileged to be invited to a celebrity event of the year but I can't be arsed. I still feel a bit sick and would rather my bed than a drive to Somerset. Plus, I'm more excited about Fat Freddy's Drop in London tomorrow night, than tonight.

I did a last minute, argh! run to the shops to find something new - nothing! So bought some make up instead, that's normal, isn't it? No dresses, so make up will do. Good, I thought it was.

Am now sat here, one Berocca, 2 lemsip down, thinking ugh, whatever?! I've been given the chance to get out of it and I know I shouldn't want to but I do. I know if I don't go it'll be a shame but I also know that at one point this evening, I'll think "why the hell am I here?". My colleague's husband is going now, so I'll inevitably be alone at some points, even though I'll know people there, they'll all have plus ones to hang with, this isn't really an issue but then you feel half cut, everything is a lot more drastic, when normal.

The biggest shitter, is the no mobile phone rule. I know I know, I used to live quite happily without a mobile, was quite happy for my own thoughts and peace and quiet and yet the idea of not having it, does worry me slightly, as boredom is always solved by these beautiful trouble making, killing machines.

Right, I must get going. I must go and have fun and oh don't forget to wear make up, as my boss implied that I didn't want to scare any guests away, yep cheers for that, feeling on top of the world already. Luckily I know he's kidding, well he best be kidding - bastard!

I'll let you know how bad it wasn't soon. At least I know I won't be drunk enough to make a fool of myself, yeah!!! For once.