Who needs Bob, when you've got Pipsywoo

Two reasons that I'm excited about cinema going in 2009!

Star Trek - The Movie Trailer



OK, I'll admit it. I'm a bit of a geek. I like to know how things work. I love CGI. I love hearing about new software and hardware. I love gadgets (more than I can express but only useful ones) and I love HTML coding. But I think there is nothing more satisfying than taking something broken and fixing it. Whether that be a broken figurine, electoral equipment, etc.
Recently I was printing out some photos for our Hall of Fame (an artistic feature at my house aka total humiliation of myself and housemates) and my photo printer broke and wouldn't reset. There is also no over ride button, which is annoying. It was buggered!

So what does a normal human being do? They'd probably either send it off to the manufactors, take it back to the shop (although mine is about 4-5 years old now), but I don't think they'd take it apart. Alas, I did. I've done it before, when the cartridge jammed, so why not now.
Jewellery screw drivers out -
5 minutes in: I was in to the main motor and mother board.
10 minutes: I'd located the cartridge cogs.
15 minutes: I'd manually reset the cartridge drive.
25 minutes: Printer fixed and back together with no bits left over. Not even a random washer (where do they come from?).
27 minutes: Have I really fixed it?
29 minutes: Yes, yes I have! Job done!
If I'd sent it off, it would have been a 3-4 week, £100+ job!

I get this obsession with taking things apart and fixing them, from my dad. As I kid, I was always called to assist my dad in his projects. Mainly because I had a steady hand and small wrists, I won't go in to how many times I tighten screws or bolts up in car engines. My dad was a handyman in his own right, I don't ever remember seeing a plumber, electrician or builder at our house as a kid (if things needed doing, he did it. No matter what it was). Nowadays you have to get someone in, due to regulations but back when lead paint was the norm, hell no!

But there is a major satisfaction in seeing something back to it's former glory from deaths door. The kind of satisfaction you can't get from anything else. I think that if I knew all of the terminology and names of everything, I'd be discovered as a geek but not knowing it all, means I can hide it behind make up and high heels.

And yes I am a little OCD about things too but that's for another time.

Do you come from the country?

While driving to work this morning, some little arsey boy-racer punk decided to cut me up, I then ended up over taking him and after a roundabout, he decided to come shooting up my arse and sat on my tail for ages and then finally shot off. At which point I really wanted to be an undercover policeman and pull him over, little shit and his bad driving.

Isn't it odd how one song on the radio can make everything seem better. I was in a rather nonchalant mood this morning and then selected one of my favourite happy songs and wham bam, there I was the happiest person in the world. I love how something so simple can make life seem so much better. This happens quite a lot and I love it when it happens.

There is still loads of snow in Boars Hill - it's so cool. Although I nearly fell flat on my face on my colleague's driveway.

My friends are going traveling in April, which is ace! They'll have such a great time. But their leaving do is a fancy dress do with the theme: Countries. Some people are attending as C*nt Trees, a friend as a Dutch girl and someone is going all in white and being Colombia. I was thinking maybe I could go as Istanbul (by wearing bowls on my feet) but I've been informed Istanbul is a city, not a country - damn my geographical knowledge.
So maybe, wearing one arm as a crane and a U on my other hand = Ukraine.
Wear a green cape = Cape Verde.
Wait around in a Q = Kuwait.
I'll think of something, hopefully it'll be cheap but effective. I might go as a Country gent?

Oh the Irony

While popping out for some lunch earlier, I came across a young lady wearing a pair of wellies.
The wellies had a slogan on them (foolish girl). The slogan read "I wish my boyfriend was as dirty as these boots".


I had to take a photo, just to prove I wasn't making it up.
Oh the irony? The boots were brand new and sparkling clean.
I really wanted to approach her and say "so you want him clean and made of rubber" but thought better of it.

The Irish know how to party

I've had a weekend of drinking. I think my liver finally gave up yesterday, when it took me over an hour to drink a pint of shandy.
Friday consists of the day off, due to not being able to move my car, well in fact that's wrong, I did move it 10 foot. Apparently you can't with a Nissan! So after not going to work, I mulled around home doing stuff and then set off early for work at the pub with Ginge and a little pub crawl in tow.
2 pints, some very slow walking and occasional slipping (wellies are water proof but not necessarily grand for grip), good chat and 2 hours later, we arrived at work. Ginge started work and I sat in the garden with some regulars drinking. We had some fun.

Later that evening there was another regular sitting in the garden with a female friend. On my way to the cellar, I was asked what I looked for in a man. I stated the simple 3 piece list: to feel wanted but not over crowded and to be made to laugh. Basically I'm looking for my equal, I don't need a man, I'd like one though. I've found this scares most men. They like to be needed. Most say they don't but they love having someone who constantly needs them and makes them feel wanted. Anyway, I'm running away from the point of this. This girl was upset that all she seems to do is meet losers or guys who screw her over and went on and on about it for about 4 hours (but that's for another time when I want a good rant. Her poor mate.). I told her to get on with being herself and that eventually she'd meet the perfect someone. She said she'd done that for long enough and was fed up, fair enough.

Later that evening I found out she was 21. I wish I hadn't even bothered to try and talk sense to her...silly girl. There I was thinking she was an adult, who had an idea about life and alas not at all...

Saturday consisted of celebrating Hazel's birthday, awesome night all in all.
But Sunday, well..I worked the Rugby, golly the Scottish team are way more attractive than the Welsh, not sure if it's the kits or if it's just fact?

Then Chips and I decided to dine out. Nina joined us for Red Star, Tsingtao were drunk. Then off to the Busty where beers, shots and gin & bollocks were drunk, then home to The Duke for some nightcap drinks, or so we thought. At 1.30am we found ourselves entering the Half Moon. I highly recommend The Half Moon on a Sunday night, you either have to have been drinking in there all night or know someone but basically, they have a little soiree with Celtic singers and fiddlers and is a great night all in all. I even drank Guinness. Too much fun was had and it was my third bedtime after the hour of 4am.

One for Chips

I love Cadbury's, always have...

Am officially in love with this advert:

3 Shops I'd love to visit

Our house, is only ours right now!

My small crazy life in Oxford has got so simple, it's started to repeat itself.

About 4 months ago my housemate was invited to a housewarming. It was at a house she used to live at, she couldn't go in. It was the house where she'd lived quite happily in with her ex, she couldn't face it, paint job or not and I totally understood why...

In 2006 I moved in to a house that my friends had previously lived in. In fact one of them refused to come to a house party there due to not wanting to see it in a better or different state to that of which he lived - fair enough I thought. But alas, tomorrow about 5pm I'll be calling at 34 Aston St.

34 Aston St is a house that I moved 3-4 people into, in about 2004? I fell in love in that house. I laughed, cried, broke up, made up and experienced life in that house, sometimes with 5 other people, sometimes with just one, who don't live there anymore, have nothing to do with it now but I did those things there. The mortar probably remembers the fights, the fun, the conversations but the people there don't...isn't life weird?. In fact I believe that the awful curtains I made, still remain (they were only awful as I hoped to stuff the buffer with cardboard to make it stand up, opps never mind?).

I remember listening to Van Morrison (and I mean "Listening") for the first time in that house. I also remember knocking my, ever so cocky, ex out of a game of Poker in that basement (some other people remember this too, it was so funny to us.), I wonder if when wandering around the house I'll feel anything, shivers of the past, etc? Probably not but it's still a crazy idea that someone I know, lives in this house that has represented so much in my past?! Mental Crazy.

Scrap Scrap Scrapping the barrel

My colleague from work kind of fancies the Parcelforce guy, I can see where she's coming from but I still miss our old UPS guy (yeah it's a cliche but he was hot!!!), even though he did leave about 4 years ago...I still pine that one day he'll turn up to our office and ask me to sign for a package (and no I don't mean like that, you dirty pervs!).

I've heard Radiohead' "Idioteque" too many times today, it's making me feel like an Idiot!!! I've had to watch various Youtube clips of the song played live for work and I can't take it!!! It's a little like when I had to watch loads of live footage of them and write the setlists down - oh my god by the end of that week, I was in a crazy trance. It's possible that the band do keep hidden messages in their songs but I very much doubt it, I think it's as simple as they write very complex, very simple and very beautifully awe inspiring songs! Although I don't want to hear Idioteque for at least 5 days!

I added that new thingy, where people claim to be my readers. I've toyed with this idea for a while, as it's a little narcissistic to do so, but then again, writing a blog in the first place is majorly narcissistic! So I bit the bullet and added it, after a month, when I only have one fan (thanks Axl) I'll delete it again.

I'm a spreadsheet queen, have started to finally learn how to use Excel at work, it's an odd, en-genius and stupid programme, grr!

I should be perfecting the petty cash, so I can't be pulled up on where the 5p that's missing is but I can't be arsed.

I went running the other night. I haven't been running in years and I'm achy! I'm going to attempt to run twice a week (i said attempt) and see what happens. I'm more of a cycler than runner but at the mo my bike is up shitter (need to get everything replaced, i know they'll suggest that buying a new bike is cheaper but Flo is going no where and she'll get a little makeover). It was quite nice being out for a run but the muscles are not happy about it, time will tell...

It's the weekend and I'm working everyday. Ginge and I are running the Pot tomorrow night, exciting. We were hoping for it to be dead and to shut at the normal time, be extra amazing cleaners and leave by 1am but there is a dj night there, so we'll be finished about 2-3am - boo! Nevermind, at least I'm working with Ginge, who is a funny fucker and good fun! It'll be good, regardless. We'll get to the Fir Tree one night and get hammered.

Talking of pubs, I also need to go drinking in The Busty Ricycle (Rusty Bicycle) it's the old Eagle on Madgelan Road. Been revamped and the drunken lowlifes have left for the Donnington (I guess). Apparently it's like the Oxford Blue but without the students, about time if you ask me. Hopefully they'll keep the prices up and the students out - am rather looking forward to it, there is nothing like judging a new pub on first impressions and whether you can get drunk, listen to good tunes and enjoy yourself all in the one evening.

Stan, nice to meet you

I really want a friend called Stan. So I can say "Good plan Stan". Simple but would keep me entertained for hours.

There was a question the other day that cropped up at dinner, which had us baffled. Is The Tudor Court more inbred than East Oxford? It's a hard one to answer. Although there was one point made, when incestuous in Tudor times, it was instant death if caught out, where as in East Oxford, it's idle gossip.

I watched American Werewolf in London last night, more of a comedy than a horror with an awesome soundtrack, so good.

I also watched The Orphanage, it was such a great film. Not so much horror, more a thriller but really good, defo recommend. Go and watch it!

I was doing some of my family tree with The Queen at the beginning of the week, it's rather good! Her great aunt married in to the Whittard's family. A second cousins of hers married in to the Sarson's Vinegar family and that her mother's guardian was the founder of Jones and Higgins (which was a huge department Store in Peckham back in the day) - not bad for my little old family. Although most of this was back before the 2nd world war and about 6 degrees of separation.

Am totally in love with Stately homes, as always. Am hoping to visit Warwick Castle this Summer with little Faith and Hazel and also want to take a Day Trip to Sudeley Castle. I think my desire has come from watching too many period dramas. May have to start watching some futuristic films now to make up for it.

Also, has anyone else noticed that loads of people who started blogs, have just stopped! Some I've checked on are coming up to a lonely year of no blogging. I know I went MIA for a few months but I'd still pop in and leave some drivel occasionally, poor little blogs, probably not sure what they've done, maybe there should be a "lonely blog councillor" to help them through it?

I returned home last night to find one of the best presents ever! Chips had bought me a frizbee but wait, it gets better...the slogan on the sunshine yellow frizbee is "Smile, Jesus loves you". Yes he does but will he love my inability to throw or catch? I guess time will tell and we'll have to wait for the sunshine to find out, if it's another rubbish Summer period, I'll take it as a no, he does not like my inability to throw or catch.

Would you like to...

Last night, I heard the term "gender equality" about 10,000 times. Now I'm all for the chances we ladies have had since the Suffragettes fought their (and ladies around the world) corner, I'm extremely grateful. But I don't believe that men having manners, should be considered as gender inequality. Just because a guy says that a lady can go first, or offers to open the door for her or offers to buy her dinner, doesn't mean that he's being sexiest. He's just showing manners.
I find it entertaining that you have some ladies who complain about how it should be 100% equal for men and women (I personally don't think it can be. Men get some benefits we ladies don't and vice versa) and then also complain that chivalry is dead?! If you want equality, pay your own way, don't expect doors to be opened and don't expect any special treatment.

In other news, I've finally fine tuned why I hate the way Politicians talk and it turns out that it's also the reason why I dislike a lot of do-gooders. Both types of people make "statement questions". This is when they are stating something but do it in a questioning manner and then wait for a response, so they can in fact "correct" you? i.e: I've noticed your car is still running, do you think that is environmentally friendly, aka turn your car off.
It's a little like how, some, females are known for making "question orders", i.e. Would you like to do the washing up? Would you like to cut the grass? They are in fact requests/orders but in the form where it's open to discussion.

I hate how people are excited about British Gas cutting bills by 10%, ooo! So after the 35% increase in November 2008, it's now just a 25% increase instead - wankers!

Randomly, I've discovered that "Bundle" (as most Oxfordian's/Southerners know it) has many names, mainly relating to where you grew up. Now "Bundle" for those of you who don't know, is when someone is on the ground and everyone else jumps on top.
It turns out that most Northerners know it as "Pile On", Australians know it as "Stack On" and some people in Northampton call it "Dog Pile" (don't ask about this one, I've no idea?). I always assumed it was "Bundle" now my eyes are open...

I want one...

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box

A month or two ago I found myself on our sofa at 3am with my housemates Chips (We both work at pubs and don't generally get home till late, etc), we were browsing through the music channels and came across the below video.



My first question was "Is this an advert?", then it was pure disbelief "Surely not!" and then three minutes seemed to last for ten.

It is one of the more disturbing things I've seen and so so wrong!!!

It's a blanket but with sleeves!!!

Julie from work kept on getting emails advertising the blanket with sleeves, no idea where they got her email from. Every day the same cry would come from her desk "I don't want a blanket with sleeves".

And then, while browsing through www.jezebel.com they were also commenting on the very same thing! 

I think it may be one of the best uses of Carmina Burana ever!!!

What a nice new boot

Last night I worked at the pub across town. I drove there as it's tres cold and also I had some stuff for the pub.

No parking spaces as usual, so I park outside Floors 2 Go. The car park is for the shop but it's 8pm at night and the shop is shut, so what's the problem? I had a slightly funny feeling about parking there but didn't know why, I even joked about being clamped when I arrived at work. I also touched wood about 1000 times (and no not like that?). 

Midnight comes round, we finish work early and off I head to go home. Alas, not just yet. My car has a lovely yellow boot on it's wheel. One phone call, 20 minutes and £125 later and I'm on my way...gutted! I was lucky that I had money (normally don't at this point in the month) and that the clamping operators work 24 hours a day, otherwise I'd have been truly screwed!

Why did I tempt fate? Why did I park there regardless of my dodgy feeling? I've no idea.

I've parked there loads of times before, I thought the signs were there then (turns out they weren't), I also thought it was a deterrent, rather than a promise. It transpires there is a new owner of the land, who doesn't want people parking there at night, day or any other time?! Wanker is what I say. Mr Clamper said he was "an utter tosser", nicely put!

According to Mr Clamper, I'm the happiest person he's ever clamped in his life. I didn't see the point of making his job any more miserable than it has to be or to be hysterical, what is the point?

I choose to look at it in a whimsical way and be up beat, all I lost was £125 (No, I can't afford to loose it but it could have been a lot worse).  I mean I've parked in some dodgy places before, where I should have either got a ticket, towed or clamped and haven't, so it's almost like an all in one pay out on getting away with it for 8 years. Plus he could have towed me, that would have sucked and cost more and due to there being no regulations on clampers, it could have been way more than £125!

Yes it sucks, I'm now poor and I'll have to wait another week or two before I can do what I wanted to do with my money but it could be worse, loads worse, my car could have been stolen, set on fire, vandalised, towed (these are all car related worses, I didn't want to be too dramatic with the whole "I'm in good health, so are my family and friends", I mean there is a time and a place). I'm now working my arse off at the pub this week to pay for the clamp....good times! Only shame is they don't let you take the boot home after you've paid for it.

Durex

It's possibly one of the funniest and most disturbing adverts I've ever seen:

Barbie Couture

As a child I was a huge fan of Barbie. Was never that interested in dollies, sulvanian famillies, my little ponies, etc, it was all about Barbie.

I loved how she could be anything and everything (even though, she mainly stayed at home, went shopping and would occasionally lie naked on top of Ken) and always looked amazing, even when wrapped in a plastic bag and sellotape, with a short pink felt tip pen hairstyle.

I longed to buy a special Barbie, there was one who was a compere and wore a gorgeous black dress and long gloves, I dreamed of owning her and still do at times, although I'd never be able to find her now, she was a collectors edition back in the late 80's, god knows how much she'd cost now.

Due to Barbie being 50 this year, there is loads of stuff about her in the press. The lady who originally designed her, I was led to believe did so, as she thought it was horrific that young girls only had dollies to play with, therefore instilling in them that they should be mothers and not much more. This idea, I adore (whether it's true or not).

I found this link: http://www.vogue.co.uk/celebrity-photos/gallery.aspx/id,418, which shows all of the designers who have also fallen for her charm and designed outfits for her.

Happy Birthday Barbie, may you have 50 more but please don't loose any more weight, in fact maybe gain a little more, that would be nice.

Pippi Longstockings

Pippi-Longstockings was one of my nicknames as a kid, although after watching this clip, I'm hoping it's not the reason...

Lost postcards

Around this time last year, I visited The Tate Britain. Before I departed I visited the gift shop (I don't normally do this, costs way too much money). I've a small love of cards and postcards, I adore them in fact. Can't help but buy them. I've banned myself from Scribbler, as I normally spend £30+ upon most visits. My walls are covered in framed pictures and cards, I'm unsure how people live with bare walls...

Well anyway, while in the shop, I came across some gorgeous postcards that struck a cord. There was one in particular that I loved, it's this one above (it's John Sargent's Carnation Lily Lily Rose).

The upsetting part of this story is our love affair ended a few hours later, as I went to the Oxo Tower to meet a friend for drinks, showed him the postcards I'd bought and when I reached home there were no postcards.

I'm not sure why this painting attracted me, there was just something so beautiful and enchanting about it. One day I'll go back to the Tate and purchase the same card, maybe I'll find it somewhere else, I mean it's a pretty famous painting, so who knows? But I do miss it.

There aren't many things I miss. My friends and family who have passed on, I miss. But friends who go on travels, etc I don't miss so much. With nowadays technology, it's near impossible to truly miss someone, which is nice. Although even before this, I never really missed people, things, etc. I'm not sure why but I'm more about the here and now, than the past or future. I acclimatise quickly to new situations and changes, maybe this makes me cold hearted or just peculiar but I've always been this way. I think it's just easier and better sometimes to accept the hand you're dealt and deal with it best you can.

 

Maybe I have just been privileged to have the parents, up bringing and chances I've had, to make it so I've never had to go without very much or to really truly suffer. Or maybe it's just that I'm not a big dweller, I'd rather get over and on with things, than sit and dwell. I was once a victim for a short while and after this pitying time I realised I'd never wanted to be this person again. Rose tinted glasses always make life a lot easier, with the whole "everything happens for a reason", "what goes around comes around" and "you get what you give" being common phrases in my mind. Maybe this is the case, maybe it's not but I always try to treat those, how I'd like to be treated. This at times has made me a doormat but it's also brought some of the most incredible friends, people and chances to me, more than I could have ever wished for. Which I'm extremely grateful for.

Dudes into Studs!

I was just trying to look for a photo of some classic 70's male modeling, to show my friend the true art of the hand half in the pocket and I came across this fantastic photo and slogan.
And just as the slogan says, it truly does turn these dudes into studs.
What magical jeans!

aka Bridget Jones

Tomorrow night I shall find myself eating our house "Christmas" dinner (minus one housemate).

I thought originally it was going to be my housemates and me. Then there was talk of them, the girlfriends and me, then the chef said he'd like to invite some others, I thought maybe to make it not so uncomfortable for me, how sweet...not at all, in fact he wanted to invite another two sets of couples?! Oh rightio...

It's another fantastic Bridget Jones moment:

This isn't the first time I've properly experienced a Bridget Jones moment and it won't be the last. I've spent most of my life single, I actually find life easier and more comfortable being single, bringing others in to your life, just makes things complicated. And what you know is always the most comfortable.

I left my Bridget Jones comment with Dave. A few days later, the following conversation ensued:
Dave "Am thinking of inviting another couple of people to our dinner?"
Me "oh, yeah who?"
Dave "Chris and Tony"
Me "Are they both men?"
Dave "Yep"
Me "Gay? wondered if you were going to really finish off the irony of my singledom around a dinner table"
Dave "Nope, just some mates of mine".

So, no gay couple to finish it off with a cherry, just a couple of guys. One of whom Dave might want to set me up with. Which makes it worse than just being couples and me. Fix ups are so dire...am going to attend to drink and eat, maybe get some "good" conversation, who knows?! And am going to embrace my Bridget Jonesdom in full English style.

But bless Dave for trying to make it easier...so sweet.

Untitled

It's nearly 2am and I'm sat in my bed writing a blog?! I've been trying to sleep for about an hour now and my brain is skipping, jumping, twirling, dancing, pole-valuting, questioning why I've said something or didn't say something and I can't take it anymore, so am hoping that by emptying some of it here, I may be able to find some peace, just maybe, nothing more.

I'm finally readjusted to my Oxford life. I went to this beautiful magical Christmasland for 6 days and it made me feel shite upon return, as my normally shiny positive world, appeared tarnished and not so shiny. In fact it seemed pretty empty and lonely...I guess being surrounded by people for 6 days and returning to an empty house would make anyone feel like this but add the fact that all of my household are loved up, adds for lonely times. Plus most of my close lady friends are all loved up also, bar 2 and I'm in for a lot of male friends or singleton times.

I'm ready to fall in love again but all the guys I meet or seem to get involved with, only want fun times (I'm an easy going, fun release from their seemingly up-tight recent ex's. As if I've no emotion or desire to be more than a fuck buddy - cheers guys!), or they aren't quite right for me. But there is a shiny silver lining, I have finally put my rose tinted view on the matter that the more shitty guys and dates and bullshit I have to put up with, the more incredible the bloke I finally meet will be - I'll apply small amounts of hope to that one though.

I was asked the other day what my desert island disc songs would be? I always say that these sorts of lists are impossible and that they'd have to be written for right now, not tomorrow or yesterday. As new songs effect, old ones resurface and others get new meanings but there are some songs that would appear, maybe not in a years time but right now, I could happily die after listening to all of them in a row (please don't test this though, as I really like living and being alive). I'm not sure how many songs you get on desert island discs (normally I'd research but I just want to write, I just want some ease of thinking).

My instant answer to said question was Rolling Stone's Wild Horses.

My next suggestion was Radiohead's Last Flowers (I love it but I may replace it with True Love Waits, I've loved it longer and doesn't rip off the riff from Karma Police).

The Doobie Brothers' Give me the beats boys, sung by Bill Withers.

U2's With or Without you.

Queen's The Show must go on.

Lucky Jim's You're lovely to me.

King of Leon's True Love Way

And finally, Cinematic Orchestra's To build a home.

I think that would be it, nothing fancy, randomly, no ladies present?! But a nice set of lovely songs, that could keep me smiling all day long.

In other news, I hate New Years Eve with a passion, so will be willing it to pass as quickly as possible, while at work*. Although my resolution, if I have to have one might be to either actually stop biting my nails, instead of not bite them for 2 months and then massacre them in one weekend or to correct my posture, who knows?! 

* I know I said about this time last year I would not work this new years eve and actually attempt to go out and enjoy myself, well I failed. No money, means time and a half looks good. Plus I'd probably stay in and with my state of mind at the mo, it wouldn't be such a good idea.

Austen in real time

I was asked the other day, if I had to compare myself to a Jane Austen character, who would it be? 

I stated how I loved 'Northanger Abbey' but more for Mr Tilney, than Catherine, who in one simple sentence is a "fantastical little girl with no grip on reality", although at times my fantasy life is far more interesting than reality.

Then I said I quite liked Fanny from 'Mansfield Park', due to the fact that she is intelligent and likes a moral living, with an underdog tone but she's also downtrodden and slightly to shy for my liking. Although thinking about it, maybe not - she's quite dull at times.

Maybe I could be Elinor Dashwood of Sense and Sensibility but then she's rather dull at times also.

I've the wit and determination of Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice but she's too gullible and believing in everyone with no even judgement.

My actual response was "most of Austen's characters are exaggerated for obvious reason, so maybe a mix of all of them". Alas I've come home and now know the answer. I'm Anne from Persausion. The one who lives for helping others and has learnt to put her own needs last. I'm not a martyr or anything like that, I don't think I'd change a thing even if I could, I just don't see why I should help myself when I can help others. I don't see why I should sit on my arse, when I can actively help those who need some help.

And if I've not entirely her, I'm a mix of her and Elizabeth Bennett. God knows?! Maybe I should stick to my original response?!

Can't get them out of my head...

I guess that title won't help most of you, as you'll all start singing Kylie, well that's kind of the point of this post. I've songs stuck in my head and the more I listen to them, the more I sing them and crave them. It's like pregnant cravings but for songs, instead of food.

The songs are:

Bill Withers - Give Me The Beats Boys

Lady Hawke - Magic

(The above two are thanks to Chips' latest mixed cd he sent me, I love getting mix cds)

Ryan Adams - To Be Young

Van Morrison - Bright Side of The Street

Bruce Springsteen - Blinded By The Light (my house mates love me singing this, honest they do. OK they really really hate it but tough shit!)

& Kings of Leon - Revelry

Mainly the two top ones are the biggies that I keep on humming, in fact I listened to Bill to get me in a better mood to have to clean the studio (it did the trick), am loving it so so much! It makes me really happy, as in big dappy smile on my face happy.

In other news, I'm dining out with the ladies tomorrow night, an evening of drinking, food and good company. Apparently there is also karaoke - oh deary me, my poor poor friends, I like karaoke and attention when I'm being a moron, they'll never get me off it, once they get me on it, poor fuckers.

I've also had to buy an indestructible camera. Now I'm good with technical equipment, especially for a lady but I've had not a lot of luck with cameras. I like to take photos, I enjoy taking them and lately have been found without. Last Christmas, I had a bulky Fujifilm camera for nearly a year and my friend while drunk dropped it from a height, opps! Death of Camera 1.

Roll on Jan 08, off I go to the sales and purchase a shiny Pentax (Camera 2), it was lovely and still is. A little technical blip at the beginning of summer saw me buying Jessops insurance (I recommend this highly, it's cheap and lasts for 3 years. Covers everything except theft & maybe loss.), September comes I go to the beach and sand destroyed it. Off it goes to the fixers, comes back a month later still screwed, off it goes again, a month later back in time for a blow out party. 2 weeks later and it's screwed up again, I guess someone kicking a large glass of Red Bull over it, didn't help.

Jessops here I come and they also spotted that the lense is back to front and were impressed it focused, etc for photos. While in there, I joke about buying an indestructible one and then ended up doing so, as my Pentax is going to be away for the whole of xmas, which sucks.

I'm now living with an Olympus and apparently it's waterproof, sand proof, life proof basically! The chap in the shop has buried it, played catch with it and thrown it in the washing up bowl - I think I may be safe, finally, from killing this one!

It's this ones big brother. But this advert annoys me so much! (Rant below)

I hate this kid, he needs a beating! If I'd even considered doing something like this to equipment when I was a kid, I'd have had my arse beaten raw, ok maybe not but the point is, that at a young age I had respect carved in to my mind and therefore wouldn't dream of doing anything like this. I know I shouldn't take this advert so literally but it really winds me up, as for the mother too busy gassing on the phone to even notice the behaviour of her brat of a child - Grr!

"Give me the beat boys to free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock n roll and drift away....la la la"

Is it really December?

I don't feel festive at all...spent yesterday and today in London with my cousin. She lives just off New Bond Street. We walked down there and Regents Street and it was all festive, lights lit and fake snow lined window displays and yet I've still got nothing.

I've bought my bottles of wine for staying at Bizz' family home and have most of my presents and yet, still nothing...let's hope it kicks in by the 23rd!

I did intend on buying some presents down in London but ended up buying myself some new clothes (all sale found) and some new make up. Also we were going to visit the Christmas fayre in Hyde Park but made it no where near...to busy gossiping and gasing. Times are hard.

Last week I was on stage with Supergrass at Shepherd's bush Empire. It was amazing! I smacked a cameraman in the face with sweets, I didn't mean too (sorry Mr Camera man). After distributing the sweets and rubber items, I had to dance on stage?!!!! Oh dear, I'm an awful dancer but had some fun anyway. It was hard not too - 2500 people having fun, confetti bombs, friends and good music - some times it's hard not to enjoy yourself!!! Was amazing! Definitely one of the best things I've done this year! Plus I was totally sober!!!
Someone filmed it, I'm the girl on the left or stage right - whatever! (They played a punk version of Once in Royal David's City.

The next night I went to see Kings of Leon with Lianne. They were fab! We had passes, not sure what they were for but we had to leave due to Paddington being on the other side of the capital, grr! Not like I would have used them anyway?! I didn't really know any of their crew, other than the head of their security and he would have been busy.

In other news, everyone should watch a film called Superstar - it's funny as and you'll all then be exposed to the 'fax machine' and the 'moving on' dance moves, they are pretty special!

In fact I've found some clips:

I can't find the moving on - shame!

Am hoping my festive spirit will arrive soon - maybe if I wore my garish Christmas dress, it will work?!

I'd rather go to the dentist

Firstly, the wedding was lovely. It wasn't as much of a slog as I thought it would be. I didn't drink and am glad I didn't. It was a lovely occasion and I'm glad I attended. It was a lot more intimate than I thought it would be, which makes it more special.

I didn't make it in to the pages of Hello!, shameful on their behalf really but what can you do?

After my horrid bout of cold last week, I've no developed Tonsillitis.
Now this may sound random but I get it all the time, not as bad as this but pretty bad. I always thought when I got a little swelling on one side of my throat, it was a gland but according to my father, it's tonsil based. Which means one of them flames up at least once every two months.
When I was younger, I used to always get it and the doctors always fobbed me off, with the whole "if you get it again, we'll take them out", I had it about 6 times in one year and every time, we'll do something about it next time - they never did.

Anyway, I always thought it was a gland swollen, not my tonsils, so normally ignored it and after a few days they'd go away. I'd feel fine, other than the lump, so would carry on regardless.
They swelled up on Sunday, both sides which is quite rare for me, bloody painful and gross, so I slept a lot! Did nothing. I went to work last night 7 hours of pub work and at 9pm a headache kicked in, was awful. Came home after work and passed out, still headachy at 3am, same again at 6am, same again at 7am, at which point I went on a hunt for drugs! Found some paracetamol and codeine - these brought my tonsils down and finally got rid of the headache.

Woke up this morning rough as sandpaper and feeling pap. Now the reason I'd rather go to the Dentist, is my Doctors surgery is horrendous! If they answer the phone, you get arsey receptionists who don't want to book appointments and don't want to be bothered. Once you finally get an appointment, it's for 3-4 days time. If you're still ill then and make it to the surgery, you're kept waiting 30 minutes past your appointment time by hypochondriac old people and then the doctors normally tell you that it's a virus or that a couple of paracetamol every four hours will do the trick?! I hate the doctors, I never go. I personally think if you're well enough to go to the doctors to get sick notes, you're well enough to attend work. I'd rather get my teeth drilled than go to the doctors. I'd rather get a huge bill off my dentists, as even this is less painful than trying to attend the surgery.

I went to Tesco' pharmacy, thought they might be able to give me advice. Immediately I got the horrid lady (there are two and one is lovely and one is cold hearted and rude - I think she's in league with the surgery's receptionists). She told me to go to the doctors, I told her I had no time and by the time my appointment was made they'd have gone away, she sold me Ibuprofen - woop!
I went to see my parents, they'd a stack of old medicine and low and below an old bottle of Penicillin - yeah! So what it's it's 15 years old, there is enough in there for at least 9 days worth. My dad was a little apprehensive but I don't care. It hasn't cost me loads of hassle from the doctors and it's free. If it doesn't work, I loose nothing and if it does - added bonus!

I mean, I eat rotten fruit and veg with the mouldy bits removed and out of date tinned food, etc - what's the difference between that and out of date drugs?

Pff!

I know it's wrong and that I should feel very privileged to be invited to a celebrity event of the year but I can't be arsed. I still feel a bit sick and would rather my bed than a drive to Somerset. Plus, I'm more excited about Fat Freddy's Drop in London tomorrow night, than tonight.

I did a last minute, argh! run to the shops to find something new - nothing! So bought some make up instead, that's normal, isn't it? No dresses, so make up will do. Good, I thought it was.

Am now sat here, one Berocca, 2 lemsip down, thinking ugh, whatever?! I've been given the chance to get out of it and I know I shouldn't want to but I do. I know if I don't go it'll be a shame but I also know that at one point this evening, I'll think "why the hell am I here?". My colleague's husband is going now, so I'll inevitably be alone at some points, even though I'll know people there, they'll all have plus ones to hang with, this isn't really an issue but then you feel half cut, everything is a lot more drastic, when normal.

The biggest shitter, is the no mobile phone rule. I know I know, I used to live quite happily without a mobile, was quite happy for my own thoughts and peace and quiet and yet the idea of not having it, does worry me slightly, as boredom is always solved by these beautiful trouble making, killing machines.

Right, I must get going. I must go and have fun and oh don't forget to wear make up, as my boss implied that I didn't want to scare any guests away, yep cheers for that, feeling on top of the world already. Luckily I know he's kidding, well he best be kidding - bastard!

I'll let you know how bad it wasn't soon. At least I know I won't be drunk enough to make a fool of myself, yeah!!! For once.

In answer...

...to my earlier enquiry "I imagine there is nothing more depressing than trying on a wardrobe of clothes, while you can't properly see or raise your arms up above your body, due to being so achy", there are more depressing things, of course there are. I'm a drama queen but not that badly, well not currently...

Yes, there are more depressing things, like trying on a dress you wore 8 months earlier with total success and finding it is tight and looks like a hippo trying on one of the Olsen twins' dress'. Even putting on high heels didn't help, when normally it always helps. I didn't even dare attempt my "waist slimmer thing" (in other words "girdle"), couldn't bear the idea, let alone the actual practice.

But I've narrowed it down to two outfits, which look alright and if all else fails, I'll be high on lemsip and red bull, so won't care?! I can't wait for a whole week, where I can eat nothing and run my arse off, to try and rid my lardy arse of these extra pounds I gained last year!!! Although I fear I'm sounding more like my mother everyday and will always rather grab a cup of hot chocolate and piece of cake, than my running shoes and iPod. Maybe one day I'll be a thin, a well restrained fool, who's life surrounds looking at things and never having them but I'll look fabulous, so that's good. Although, where is the fun in that? I think I'd rather buy clothes a size bigger than needed, so I don't have to notice when they get a little tight...

Jesus, I'm only 26, if I have that theory now, I'll be the size of a house by 40!

Sniff Sneeze and Snot

Guess what I've been doing over the last few days? I suppose the title kind of gives it away but not really. OK, so yes in fact it does give it completely away but I'm trying to be clever, with half a brain and a lot of fog in my cranium, plus my housemate is playing music loudly, while my brain thump thump thumps away.

I've had a cold but not just a typical, snotty nose, inability to breath, slightly achy cold, I mean a full power rushing headlong right in to my forehead, knock me off my feet style cold. It's been gross! When I get colds they generally hit me head long. When I worked at the Zodiac Nightclub, I got them all the time and would have them for weeks at a time. Nowadays, I work longer hours but appreciate sleep more, so when I have the chance, I grab it with both hands (what with old age and all...).

Last week I felt a bit shit, so literally exchanged my usual 15 pints of water, to 10 cups of Lemsip a day. By Saturday I felt a little tip top (probably a little high), had lots to do but I didn't feel pap, felt fantastic in fact, a little tired but that didn't stop me partying until 6am.

Sunday, felt like death. I tried to entertain my guests but failed, so they departed late lunchtime. Spent the entire day in bed, feeling rubbish, thought it was alcohol based...it probably was...

Monday death came by and knocked my socks off, I called in sick to work but then turned up anyhow (I'm such a trooper). That night I slept no hours at all, as I was too busy coughing or sneezing.

Tuesday, was like proper death, swollen eyes, achy body, snot factory on full power. I slept all day.

Wednesday back to achy, less snot, generally feeling pap but not like death pap - slept a lot!

Also watched Transformers with my housemate, I forget how well executed that film is and how funny. Also some Family Guy, American Dad and Spaced (I tried to introduce a friend to Spaced the other day. He was having none of it. Loser! Although when I introduced him to Black Books he didn't get it either but now, completely different story). I am feeling a little better, like I've got a slight cold, not a man flu style horrid invasion though.

The downside is that I've a wedding to attend tomorrow. It's a work related party, so I feel bad being off for two days and then showing up to party but there is no way I'm going to be on form to drink, so lemsip and red bull will be in my bag. I've also no idea what I'm going to wear. Will be driving to Somerset straight from work, so need to pack now, well in fact I should probably be asleep now, instead of writing this. Funnily enough, I don't feel like trying on my entire wardrobe while feeling this pap. I imagine there is nothing more depressing than trying on a wardrobe of clothes, while you can't properly see or raise your arms up above your body, due to being so achy. Good times! I'll be doing this shortly, so can let you know how depressing it is.

Also, I spent ages trying to buy a dress (was 100% silk, beautiful, in the sale, in my size - hurry, might sell out) from Miss Selfridges earlier. Due to Visa Verification (I appreciate they are saving us hassle and money but lately they've done nothing but cause me hassle), it took ages, two phone calls to Barclays and Visa Verification and two hours - it finally went through, yeah!!! They haven't told me that the dress is unavailable but I did go back and check and it's now out of order in my size - woe is me if is sold out. I guess it's fate that I'm not supposed to have it. Boo!

Time to try and get my achy slobby body in to dresses and shoes and try to look as presentable as I can. This will be my 5th wedding of the year and my first sober one, crikey - sober at a wedding, well I never!!! Surely that is illegal for over 18 year olds?

On the upside, if I'm feeling better tomorrow, the wedding will be ace, alcohol or no alcohol. Plus it's a nice trip to Somerset and a rather posh stately home - oh la la! And on Friday, Bring on the Powerhouse, as I'm seeing Fat Freddy's Drop! Dance Dance Dance Woop Woop!

And then another 50 things to do this Saturday, yeah! 

And if at any point the remnants of this bloody cold catches up with me, I'm going to re-hookup the Lemsip IV. This is the beginning of my December and I'm not going to be too ill to miss it, no way!!! If need be, I'll keep myself to a certain semi-healthy level and be ill in January.

New ideas are always better

When you get off your arse, a lot more gets done. Surprisingly?!

After 3 years of promising to watch my old housemates, Howard's, favourite  Christmas film "It's a Wonderful Life", I'm doing it. Am sat here at work, watching it and have cried, laughed, been horrified and am in admiration. It's fu*king brilliant!!!

Howard has the right idea completely, it's all about the proper idea of Christmas. Being with loved ones and doing favours for people, instead of keeping all your time to yourself. It's a beautiful film. The postman suggested it should be redone in colour. What a horrific suggestion! Why oh why do people try to ruin things with modern ways. It's a beautiful black and white film, there truly is nothing like the old fashioned black and white classics. They are so romantic, misty, well shot and just fantastic.

I've also found that Hollywood (modern, not old) are still trying to refilm classic horror films (they've truly run out of ideas). 

They've massacred: 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Old one: classic art house, suspence filled horror. New one: Jessica Biel in a wet white vest with no bra), 

The Amityville Horror (haven't seen either but a good friend of mine is outraged), 

House of Wax (Old one: B Movie fabulousness. New One: Paris Hilton gets killed, this is the best part of the film), 

The Fog (Old one: B Movie, bad monsters. New One: annoying actors who you want to die), 

They are currently in production of Friday the 13th. One of the best horror scenes I've ever seen is when Kevin Bacon gets stabbed through the mattress, they'll never be able to recreate it and it's a shame that they even try. I checked under my bed for weeks and I still do occasionally even now.

And horror of all horrors, they are redoing a Hitchcock, one of his most brilliant pieces of work, The Birds. Do they not realise that this film is so amazing, due to the director, not the story. It's like redoing Da Vinci's Mona Lisa and then claiming it's the same. It's blasphemy in Hollywood.

Now a know a lot of film storylines are taken, remodeled and repackaged, I'm not stupid but when they literally take a storyline and refilm it, word for word and then throw in some more gruesome images. It takes away from the original horror factor, which is the imagination of the viewer. It's such a shame.

As for Hollywood remakes of the Japanese Horrors, it's pathetic that Hollywood felt they had ot remake it with American speaking actors, because the subtitles might remove some of the suspense or whatever the excuse was. I've seen some of the American versions and have hated them compared to the originals. The originals were brilliant and scared me shitless. So for now, I'll stick with the originals, because most of the time, the originals are better anyway.

Some recent brain sick....

So this week, I have mostly been laughing.

I can't help it, I'm laughing at everything, with my bad moods, with my friends, with my good moods, with the stupid things I say and do and also I'm laughing at strangers (not in a bad way, in a shared positive way). I'm finding it a fabulous thing to do.

A couple of my friends and I went on a joint STD clinic visit (it's always good to know and it's a free NHS service, why wouldn't you go yearly?) and my male friend was papping his pants, so I sat there humming the Jaws theme tune - cruel but fair. Turns out we are all safe, STD clean friends - which is nice!

Am totally confused about life and how it works, as recently I've had dealings* with two chaps and might be having dealings* with another two guys, all who's first name begin with A! Just to keep things simple. One of guys I haven't done anything with I adore and would rather keep his friendship, than ruin it with complications. We will see...

I'm hating the new Mr Muscle adverts, it appears that Mr Muscle has been on steroids - it's crap now! No more string vests, stripy boxers or arms the size of cocktail sticks. Now a superhero outfit and huge musclesm it's shit!

So sit back and enjoy one of the classic ads:

Last night, I downloaded the best of Whitney Houston and Britney Spears - think iTunes may cancel my account, due to poor taste in music but there is a reason, other than the fact that "I wanna dance with somebody" is one of the all time greatest dancing songs, in fact I lied, there are no other reasons.

Have maxed out my credit card again, shh, don't tell anyone.

My knitting princess status may be coming to an end, because I keep on waking up with the claw - it hurts and makes typing quite hard.

The transport/traffic idiots of Oxford City Council are being idiots. They are finally permit parking a huge amount of East Oxford, which is a really good idea. The bad idea is that they haven't actually visited any of the streets to survey, especially around my area there are a lot of home made driveways, right where they claim permit parking will be. Have replied to their report, implying that maybe getting off their arses and coming to see the actual roads they'll be trying to organise, might help - or something to that effect. Let's see if it makes a blind bit of difference, probably not but then again, it's not them who will be trying to park here, so why should they worry?

I love the comic tv show "No Heroics" it's bloody hysterical.
http://www.greatstufftv.com/veoh.html?file=v16018219FMYJazTc

I'm still in love with LoveFilm.

* Doesn't necessarily mean intercourse, it could just mean a kiss or something to that effect. It's all extremely random, as I recently had a 7 month drought without even a snifter of anyone or thing.

P.S. This was my 100th post!

True Brilliance

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7730018.stm

What to type..

I've loads of things to say, but not sure what to start with or how i can fix them all in the one entry.  They are all odds and ends and don't really gel well, so I think I may just waffle on and on about not a lot.

I have to admit, a lot of the entries on here have been a little thin, as I've a new place to invest, which is a little more private in a public sense and of course, I've been freaking busy, which doesn't help much, other than my stress levels.

Am currently asking a friend the following question, out of everyone in the world, who would you kill first? Not sure who I'd start with, as you've the option of political figures who can get it so wrong or are just huge fascists! Annoying famous people, annoying people in real life, people who have hurt your friends or family, etc...god knows where I'd start. I don't think I'd start with someone who'd hurt me, I've dealt with my demons, so would I go to my friends and famillies tormentors? Probably not, as I think they've near enough dealt with their demons too, so...god knows?!

I might kill the directors who make awful remakes. The remake of the Texas Chainsaw springs to mind...oh and the director who did the House of Wax remake (although you did get to see Paris Hilton die and for that, I'd give the guy an oscar), it's such a hard question to answer.

I can't remember what else I was going to write about now, got sidetracked but will bid you a farewell for now, I've work to do...enjoy thinking of your killing spree lists...

Palmtastic

So, at the weekend I went to a sing-a-long Sound of Music - it was fucking awesome and don't knock it till you try it!
Although randomly I don't ever remember there being Nazi's in it or the escape at the end of the film. I only ever remember them getting married, so maybe I used to turn it off after that (well happily ever after is so much more beautiful, especially when you're a young girl).

Anyway, the point of this blog is that after the fantastic evening, I went to The Pot to see Chips and Moneymaker, as they'd been working. Shortly after I arrived, my bosses came back to the pub with some friend and a friend's parents. It turned out that the step-mum was a palm reader, this got me VERY excited!!!

She said she'd happily read my palm, I was extremely estatic!!! So we sat in the corner, one of the first things she said was "you're very creative and not in just one area, you're really creative and you need to apply yourself more, it's the key to your future career" - correct and what the ?! My future career?!
- "In the last two years you've had two flings very close together, you're very close to meeting, in fact you've already met him, you're very close to starting up a relationship with the man who you'll spend the rest of the life with. You've a long long line on your heartline, which implies once you've hooked up, you won't be parting for a very long time." - score, although he's got a long wait if he thinks I'm going out of my way or going to make any effort, lol. Plus I thought maybe she was talking about my relationship with Paul last year and how within two weeks, I was in bed with a future fuck buddy. These were the last flings I had. Unless she's got her timing wrong and is talking about now. I've had some fantastic fun with a couple of lovely chaps but that's all. Plus if two years is recent to her, it probably won't happen for another 3 or 4.
- "You're going to travels loads, although they are rather short trips, not long excursions. They seem to be linked to your creativity, Maybe you'll be a journalist?" - Umm, you've seen my style of writing, it's unlikely but I do prefer long weekends away than massive bouts of holidays.
-"You're extremely centered, you know who you are, this is very good. It adds to your lovely nature and spirit" - thanks, it's hard sometimes to be so amazing but someone has to do it, lol.
-"You'll have children, looks like 3, 2 of them are extremely close together, maybe even twins" - run for the fucking hills, twins no way on earth. I want my children to be close together, if possible, but twins, hell no!!!
-"There is a 'V' here on your palm. I can't quite remember what it means but I'm pretty sure it's in relation to conflict. It's very prominent, so either you've had it and hold it close or you're about to have it. Either way, you hold it very close to you, almost too close. You don't want to forget it, you see it as a lesson" - I'm very peaceful generally but if I feel unfairly treated or as though someone is taking the piss, I'll put them in their place and this has caused some bouts of conflict in my life. I didn't talk to my grandma for 6 months due to disagreeing with her and have lost friends due to telling them they are out of order. I do hope it relates to a past conflict, as I don't actually enjoy conflict whats so ever.

I think that was about it. There were other things but they were pretty meaningless...I really enjoyed it though, was nice to get my palm read. I'd very much like to have it done by someone else, so I could compare notes but whatever. I also know it's very general, never precise but she hit some nails on the head and she couldn't have asked anyone about me before hand, as her step-daughter wouldn't have mentioned me in passing and I wasn't supposed to be there at all. Well no matter how you feel about it, I enjoyed it and love that sort of shit, so will happy try again...see what happens?!

Time will tell...

To make up or not to make up

Right, so I've got to write this now, as I've too much to say in a comments box. My dearest friend Axl wrote a simple blog about women not wearing make up.

Right, so I agree with them. Most ladies do look lovely without make up. I was always told by my ex that I looked better without but he was pretty insecure, so I always thought he wanted me to look pap so other guys didn't look twice at me (easily plausible). I'm very religious about taking my make up off and always think after I've removed the tired, half worn away make up and put some moisturiser on, that I look much better, than five minutes before.

Recently, after some good nights of sleep, my first thoughts in the morning when I look in the mirror are "wow I look half decent". I mainly wear make up to make me look awake. Recently I didn't wear any to work and I looked like death (according to my bosses - thanks for that) and I do look extremely tired without the make up, where as with it, I can pretend that I didn't work until 1am, get to bed at 2am, sleep for 6 hours and then crawl out of bed to come to work, for the last 3 weeks.

I used to wear loads of make up (I've never been a foundation girl but eye make up yes), I was quite insecure, I was one of those confident insecure types, whereas now, I'm very confident and happy. I'll go whole days without ever even thinking about it.

I have friends who'll sleep in theirs, in case there is a fire in the middle of the night. I have other friends who think a little bit of mascara is over doing it, some that like to wear a little here and there, others who wear the entire make up counter just to go to the shops and others who wear it for fun.

There are loads of different reasons for wearing it, loads and loads. Mainly it's a mask to disguise certain tell tale signs of sleepness nights, stress, scaring, etc. But some times it's just fun to still be you and look like someone else, someone who could conquer the world or run a bank or be a dirty little bitch.

It's the fun that I like most, it's the changes of expressions and faces. I don't think it's bad, in fact I think it's amazing but there is something incredible about a fresh face, which will always be classic. Just allow your lady friends to be who they are, reassure them that they are beautiful and they'll relax and show you the real face soon enough.

Some people should be left to get on with it

Now I know that the police have a job to do, as do the Motorway surveillance team. But, after watching the clip below, you really think that maybe they should leave some people to it. Watch the film and then read my rant, if you fancy having your ears chewed!

Stupid women

Here are two Swedish sisters walking down the central reservation of the M6 (for the non-British of you, it's an extremely busy road connecting the South of England to the North). The motorway team see them on the cameras, the police dispatch to bring them to safety, not only are they risking their own lives, but the drivers too.

The police slow the traffic, bring the girls to the side for questioning. As they are asking what I assume would be simple questions, one of the girls breaks away and runs directly in to the oncoming traffic (What the fucking hell?!). She gets hit by a lorry (surprise surprise), as she gets hit, her sister runs after her (I know they are blonde but seriously?). She also get hits but by a van. Now, if they want to kill themselves, do it on their own time, not on others and don't do it where they are likely to fuck up everyone else's day. Those poor drivers who hit the girls, poor poor people. On a side note, the traffic generally slows down when the police have lights flashing on the side of the road, so am guessing they got hit at about 40-50mph, this isn't the usual motorway traffic but still - ouch!!!

Because they made a break for it and got hit. The entire motorway stops!!! Massive tail backs ensue. People's lives are stopped due to these stupid bitches! One of them then tries to have a similar thing happen on the other side of the motorway, after assaulting an officer who is trying to save her life (let her fucking get hit, maybe she'll die and then she'll learn not to play on a motorway!).
Plus a helicopter gets called out to take the first stupid bitch to hospital. Do you know how much a call out of a helicopter costs? About £1000 apparently!!! And after all this bullshit, the second stupid bitch gets one day in jail! ONE DAY!!! The other gets to sponge off our National Health for 7 weeks! To me, this is extremely unfair justice! They risked their own and hundreds of other peoples lives, as well as upset a couple of drivers who hit them and also, could have caused numerous crashes along the way. They then have a helicopter called out to them, another cost. They probably had legal aid at the court hearing and 7 weeks on the NHS and then we get the added cost of paying for one of them to go to jail for one day - I'd have rather invoiced them for everything and made them pay it or face jail in Sweden for 6 months! At least that would have made more sense and not pissed our money and services up the fucking wall!

Now I know I sound like I read the Daily Mail, wear wellington boots to walk my dog across the fields, while in my Barbour mac and obviously vote Conservative but really? Can you really tell me it was worth saving their lives? Is one of them going to save someone elses life? Is one of them going to cure Cancer? Doubtful!

Some people have said to me, they can't be straight in the head, drugs must be involved but still, what the fuck?! In my eyes, it would have been easier, cheaper and quicker to have left them to it.

Nothing like a clever advert...

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/9/Diesel-SFW-XXX-577249.html

Max & Gabe

I stole it from Radiohead's website, they stole it from the web, but it is funny...

The best lies we tell, are the ones to ourselves

I'm the queen of making up excuses for why I should or shouldn't do something. This isn't generally directed at work related things but towards my personal life, yes indeed.

I spent 6 months telling myself why I shouldn't date someone before, I also spent 4 months telling myself I should. I've spent nights lying awake at night convincing myself that I must buy something - mainly clothes but I can convince myself that my life will end if I don't own a certain item - I'm the worst or the best person to go shopping with, depends what you want. These are all excuses for one reason or another...basically, I know when I'm procrastinating but that doesn't stop me.

For the last 2 years I've been making the excuse that I don't run, due to not having the appropriate music playing device. Before this, I used the excuse of no suitable footwear. After 2 years of constantly telling myself and myself happily believing it, I've caved and spent £30 on a 2gb ipod shuffle. I did save £10, so this is a worthy cause to spend my hard earned cash on. Plus I don't currently have a boyfriend to waste my money on, so am quids in!

Although I did realise something awful yesterday, I don't own any sports socks?! Now, it's not that I don't want to go running, I actually do. It was the only sport I was good at, at school. But I'm easily distracted by things like beer, food, sitting, watching mind rotting tv, etc. I get excited about heading out and then find a reason not too.

2 years ago, one of my other excuses was that I lived on a very main road (far too public to get cramp, red hot, sweaty and eventually keel over in), then it was that I was cycling loads so didn't need to run but now? I live near the park on a very quiet road, so can keel over in peace and quiet. But I live half way up a hill (not a good look - crawling up a hill, not quite what was expected). I know what will happen, I'll run down the hill first (it just makes sense) and then get to the pub at the bottom of the hill, jog on the spot outside the window for about 10 minutes and then decide I need to use the facilities and on my way out, I'll stop for a chat with the bar person and then will have to order a pint, as it's just being polite, but of course I'll run home afterwards, it only makes sense.

I am going to attempt a little run here and there, if I can I'll go once a week, if not to the pub, maybe further. I mean, if I don't, no one else will. And this spare tyre I store will only stay put. Although like I said, I don't have any sports socks...what was that?...a pint free...oh ok, if you insist.

Another favourite blog of mine...

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

Pure genius!!!

Now time for the best URL of our time

The best url I've seen in some time: http://www/ivefuckedupbiggergigsthanthis.com 

This is a blog from Radiohead's crew, who at times get a little bored!

Waiting Room Game

When waiting at the doctors, or hospitals I like to play a little game. When you walk in to the waiting room take a look at the people in there. Now pick someone and give them a name, it has to be someone you was in there before you, as they are more likely to get selected before you.

Now give that person a full name. Maybe pick a couple of people and give them name. Then sit and wait...maybe if you fancy it, give them a little story too. Eventually they'll get called up, they are (sadly) never called what you've named them, but maybe one day?

It's not much but it passes the time and is normally quite entertaining!

You can't catch a toilet seat from aids

'Morning Campers', is what I was hoping to hear at the weekend, alas I was camping but not in the 1950-60's, shame really. My obvious response would have been "hi-de-hi", instead of the tent turtle sick bucket that I became after drinking everything Devon had to offer in the way of alcohol and having a drunken walk down to the beach at 3am, where the coastguard kept on coming by to make sure my friend hadn't found the sea and decided to go for a morning swim in the dark.

This weekend was glorious, it was Luke's birthday, he was turning 27, so had the grand idea of dragging a group of his nearest and dearest friends to the Devon coast to camp??? I know, I was thinking that I was 26, not 6, but I have a rule of only one camping expedition a year, so had to stand by that rule. Most went down on Friday, myself a couple others took my shiny new car down on Saturday due to other commitments on Friday night.
The drive down was quite funny and so long due to everyone in the north part of South West England deciding to also head that way and the roadworks Bristol is currently doing, grand idea to do them on the South West express route during the "summer"?!
We finally arrived to head to the pub, in true countryside style, it was about a 3 mile walk away from anywhere. The weekend was a rather lovely affair, with a great group of friends and some how I managed to get some sun, even though I spent nearly all of Sunday puking and hungover in a tent, well what else is drink for other than to make you feel incredible about yourself and then take it all away again.

My new car is finally here, at last, only a month late and I nearly didn't it at all. It's come with a dent (which is be beaten out, once the chap can fit me in) but also a nice discount for said dent. It's shiny and relatively new and goes like the clappers and has backdoors, you've no idea how important they are until they are taken away. I'm not use to them yet, I keep on trying to load things through my front doors. I no longer have a boot release but am coping with that just about. These things are tedious but the simple things are what you deal with everyday when driving...need less to say, I'm in love with it!!!

Anyway, enough of my drivel, I've a car to drive and work to do.

Sore losers are nothing but sore!

So, I'm not that in to the Olympics, I don't expect to win (isn't getting in to the event enough, I think so) but I have enjoyed it, not because we've been winning medals but because when I watched the opening ceremony, I spoke with an Australian friend of mine, who said she was going to support Oz this time round, as at least that way she'll see medals be won.

WELL, was I full of glee when on Sunday not only did we have more golds but we also had more medals in total! I'm not one to gloat, I find it generally a vulgar thing to do but I do like to put a little dig in occasionally, because I can. So I asked that for the next Olympics this friend continues to support Oz, couldn't resist. At which point, she said "well medals per population of the country, you come way down the list to us", I'd respect this comment, if the whole population competed but they/we don't. Only the athletes do!!! I know that we do come some way down the list of population per medal, as I also listened to the Radio 2 show that did this tally chart. Why did they do it? because they were ripping the piss out of the States for also being sore losers and for tallying the Olympic results by total medals! In fact, the country that comes first in medals per population is Bahrain and Oz is about 6th or 7th but realistically, I think the correct list results should have been medals per athletes!

Right the results are -

Country Gold Silver Bronze Total Competitors

China 51 21 28 100 639

USA 36 38 36 110 647

Russia 23 21 28 72 474

GB 19 13 15 47 311

Germany 16 10 15 41 452

Oz 14 15 17 46 435

So, if we do it competitors by total medals it reads:

USA 5.88 competitors per medals

China 6.39

Russia 6.58

GB  6.61

Oz 9.45

Germany 11.02

Now in my eyes this is how it should be viewed, not by population, yet if the Australians have to find some way (as the Americans did) to make them sleep safe at night and feel as though they are still a force to be reckoned with, whatever?!

I don't actually care, I guess I just have the typically English view that if you lose, you accept it, at least that way you can hold your head up high and also, they haven't lost, they've done a great job especially compared to many other countries (there were approx. 204 countries competing and they've come 6th, that's good in my eyes) but I guess to some, that's just not enough!

Oscar Wilde had it right...

...with one of his more commonly known quotes "I can resist anything, except temptation". Too bloody true.

Temptation, it's a hard one, for me as a consumer it's all around and I always buckle, someone mentions crisps or chocolate or going out for a pint and my mind starts spinning...dreaming of those salty potato slices, the sensation of melted chocolate on the tongue or that fizzy golden juice to quench my thirst. Even writing this, I'm thinking about how on my way home I could pick up some beers. And then my main problem crops up again, I've no money. I've ways around this by going to the pub I work in and putting it on my tab but no no, can't do it...I've been so good lately. 

I've been so good in fact, that I've finally finished jobs around the house that needed doing; I've finished wall papering my wardrobes (only took me 8 months), have also resorted my wardrobe, finished a friends birthday present, fixed some broken items and I may even tonight get my sewing pile semi sorted, who knows?! Or then again, I may get bored of being in and cave by going to the "pub at the bottom of the hill" for a thirst quenching drink?! 

Bloody temptation, no matter how little or small, it's all around and always ready to pounce.

I've also just discovered that New Look is finally online, ever since the new shopping centre in Didcot opened, it's become my favourite shop to buy clothes and shoes from, not that I buy much any more due to my "financial issues". This is enough to make me want to drawl through the pages and pages of shoes and clothes, was also trying to suss out ways to buy without having to pay immediately - yeah I know, stupid as it is. I won't be applying for a store card, that is one lesson I've learnt. Also don't have a credit card currently due to my "issues" and have no intention of applying for another one. But in the back of my consumer run brain, someone is crying 'find a way, these things sell like hot cakes, they'll be gone by the time your cheque comes through, just do it!', but I won't give in, well not till my cheque comes and then I may give in a little...

Story lines that don't add up

Lots of people complain about Sex and the City (all blokes can please hold their comments) and how unrealistic it is with pay, flats, lifestyle, etc (i'm a huge fan, don't get me wrong, not in a compulsive scary way but I like it) but my biggest problem is the fact that Miranda Hobbs had a baby with a guy called Steve Brady. They aren't married and live separately, she decides to call the kid Brady (yep his dad's surname) and then in Series 6 they get married, so the kid is now called Brady Brady - is it just me or is this extremely cruel? Especially as it's brought up when Samantha mets Smith Jared that it turns out his parents called him Jared Jared.

And another problem with a TV show I have is Fraiser. Daphne (played by Jane Leeves who is from Essex) is supposed to be from Manchester, she has a southern accent. Her brother Simon (played by American Anthony Lepagho - Without a Trace) comes to visit and has an cockney accent, even though he's supposed to be Manchunian. Later on, her brothers Michael (played by Robbie Coltrane - Scottish) and Stephen (played by Richard E Grant, English) visit. Michael has a mumbly Scottish accent and Stephen has another southern English accent. Fraiser is supposed to be an intelligent show, surely someone realised that Manchester is up north and has a rather obvious accent, and they got away with this monstrosity of accents for 11 years! I like the show but every time I watch it, I just get frustrated and it doesn't help that it's on TV at the time I'm getting ready to come to work, so it's either put up with it or watch Jeremy Kyle - there no contest really.

Back to me, with the old way...

Randomly, I'm slowly becoming less private than I was, which is kind of scary. I've spent the last year of my life, being very private and over the last two months I've slowly become the old me (who wasn't a bad model) and am glad for it. I'm not so guarded or sheltered. 

Hence some drunken blogging, nothing like it!

Have spent the day with Viktorious. Awoke, called the wonderous being, showered, dressed, joined her for some shopping delight, obviously her shopping delight, we all know my current financial plans. We pottered, we ate Mexican for lunch (was about the size of a small baby), shopped some more, drank a jug of Pimms, tried on some of the most horrendous dresses Debenhams had to offer (truly awful), some drinks in Copa (Wig & Pen to the old Oxford lot) at which while walking up some stairs, I stumbled, threw my pint and her wine up, caught most of my pint and lost most of her wine, stabilised myself, curtsied, thanked everyone for watching my trick and carried on my way. Watched Sex and the City the movie (just what I wanted, tears, laughther, shit in the pants fun, Nina joined us for it - yeah!), Sushi and then some more beer fun and banter!!! - fan-fucking-tastic night!!!!!!!!!! - extra !!!!! for the fucking hell of it!

Am now drinking fizzy wine and watching Grease 2, trying not to sing along, like Chips and I did last week - all  the while wearing awesome emo alice bands from Harrods (Primark), "Reproduction, baby give it to me now, Reproduction, is that all you think about", yeah you know the words, sing along!!!

God I love life and my friends for being exactly who they are! x x x

Here's Nina for some random crap in the pant hell of it - 

so as pippa mentioned we're watching grease 2 (first time for me) and i'm slightly bemused by the a) extreme 80s take on a supposedly 60s soundtrack and b) how the hell frenchie has a voice naturally that sounds like shes been inhaling helium all her life and just now c) pippa singing in my face using a bubbly bottle as a microphone and interpretive dance moves- it's impressive...

i seem to have develop a sign recently that states 'i'm single and want very weirdo in the place to speak to me'..i suppose it could be entertaining to a point except that i seem to have also developed and instinctive 'fuck off' response followed swiftly by an apology for being so arsey. to be honest i just need to kill the apology response...it's mildly amusing to be able to tell people what you actually think of them. ok very amusing...i'm sure i'll grow up soon but in the meantime :o)

anyways, i shall leave the entertaining  to pippa..i seem to be better at insulting people at present..oh, but for the record i highly recommend sex and the city... i was surprised and impressed at how much of it rang true to life.....

Let's do it for our country, the red white and the blue - maybe that's just me, willing to do it. Ok maybe not, but with the charm, banter, cheesy lines and usual bullshit, I love it all! Although if someone did start singing this song to me, I'm not sure if I'd call my gay mate or shag them - who knows, let's try it and find out, preferably with the guy I fancy but I doubt he even knows this film, he's way too COOL - god damn it!

Am really enjoying our house currently, it's in the exact clean state I left it in, no broken glasses, drunken alcohol, eaten food or mess. I'm not really one of those people who actively misses people. If I remember them, there is a part of me who wishes for a minute with them but in every day life, it's just not part of who I am. While in Kiwiland, I missed a couple of my best mates, because I desired to be the real me, not the polite well brought up me but I didn't long for anyone in particular. But there is a hole in our home and it's filled by our version of the Vengaboys - party all hours of the day, leaving mess, chatting usual drugged filled party crap and kebab wrappers fuckers - bless their little fun having hearts. It wouldn't be as fab without them and it really isn't! They'll be back on Tuesday night and I'll probably hate it, loads of drying laundry, rotten food and stories. 

Crushes, are they called so as that's how you end up feeling?

So, I've been having trouble keeping up with my blog, I've already apologised about this but I have found a way to track my brain sick, while on the run, or should that be road - well whatever. I've found a new way to still bore you all sensless with my inane crap. Bad luck!
Below you will see how they will probably look from now on in. Except when I have an occasion near my computer, obviously!

The only down side with this type of blogging, is that you'll realise how bad I am at puncuation and grammar - god bless the auto correct, if only they could do it for proper English, rather than the crap American's claim is English. And could implant it in my brain.

How time flies when you work...

I know I've been neglectful and don't deserve my blog. I have attempted to write a couple of blogs but I get halfway through and loose my track of thought, or my wind, or my effort, etc - I just get bored, I suppose these things happen when you do something for so long, after a while things get a little boring. Plus I've been extremely busy and don't have much time for myself at the moment, which kind of sucks but I'm coping.

Recently I've been having to relive my past. It's been very strange...way too many break ups going on in one place. Although for once I don't feel tired, fed up, angry, upset, fed up, annoyed, wound up, depressed, for once after having to relive what happened when I last broke up with someone (the almighty heart crippling break up), which was about two and a half years ago or so, I don't want to tear something shred to shred. I feel at peace with the past. Yeah I suppose it should have taken less time but when new things constantly crop up, raking up the past, it's hard to allow it to be left where it should be but for once and all, I'm at peace with the break up that broke my heart. Also, am extremely comfortable with being single, I actually forget at times that I am, which has happened since I was about 16. I suppose both things could be linked to the next thing (below), as when you have no time, you have no time to over think, which would make sense I suppose.

I've been working my arse off. By the end of this month, I will have worked a total of 255 hours. On average about 53 hours a week. It doesn't sound like much to some of my friends and to others it sounds like hell. But I'm coping. It was hard in the first week, 4 nights at the pub, 5 days at work but now it's just what I do. And it's what I'll be doing or another year, although after June, I may lessen my hours or rearrange them slightly, so I can rest more during the week. But it's been fun and I feel like I'm actually working towards paying off my debt. Although right now, most of it has gone to the utility companies, which sucks!

Plus, is it just me or are others also tired with having to constantly ignore friends requests (on facebook) from people they went to school with, whom they have no interest in. Constantly I get requests from people whom I hardly spoke to at school, let alone gave a shit about and now they constantly try to add me, surely they get the idea?!
My friends are: people who I know relatively well or had a very good laugh with once or twice, people I see regularly, people who mean something to me, people who are just too good to pass up the chance to not be friends with or to spy on.
Not people who I met once and never spoke to again, or people who I once went to school with 10 years ago and haven't seen since and if I did, I would most probably ignore.