Sniff Sneeze and Snot

Guess what I've been doing over the last few days? I suppose the title kind of gives it away but not really. OK, so yes in fact it does give it completely away but I'm trying to be clever, with half a brain and a lot of fog in my cranium, plus my housemate is playing music loudly, while my brain thump thump thumps away.

I've had a cold but not just a typical, snotty nose, inability to breath, slightly achy cold, I mean a full power rushing headlong right in to my forehead, knock me off my feet style cold. It's been gross! When I get colds they generally hit me head long. When I worked at the Zodiac Nightclub, I got them all the time and would have them for weeks at a time. Nowadays, I work longer hours but appreciate sleep more, so when I have the chance, I grab it with both hands (what with old age and all...).

Last week I felt a bit shit, so literally exchanged my usual 15 pints of water, to 10 cups of Lemsip a day. By Saturday I felt a little tip top (probably a little high), had lots to do but I didn't feel pap, felt fantastic in fact, a little tired but that didn't stop me partying until 6am.

Sunday, felt like death. I tried to entertain my guests but failed, so they departed late lunchtime. Spent the entire day in bed, feeling rubbish, thought it was alcohol based...it probably was...

Monday death came by and knocked my socks off, I called in sick to work but then turned up anyhow (I'm such a trooper). That night I slept no hours at all, as I was too busy coughing or sneezing.

Tuesday, was like proper death, swollen eyes, achy body, snot factory on full power. I slept all day.

Wednesday back to achy, less snot, generally feeling pap but not like death pap - slept a lot!

Also watched Transformers with my housemate, I forget how well executed that film is and how funny. Also some Family Guy, American Dad and Spaced (I tried to introduce a friend to Spaced the other day. He was having none of it. Loser! Although when I introduced him to Black Books he didn't get it either but now, completely different story). I am feeling a little better, like I've got a slight cold, not a man flu style horrid invasion though.

The downside is that I've a wedding to attend tomorrow. It's a work related party, so I feel bad being off for two days and then showing up to party but there is no way I'm going to be on form to drink, so lemsip and red bull will be in my bag. I've also no idea what I'm going to wear. Will be driving to Somerset straight from work, so need to pack now, well in fact I should probably be asleep now, instead of writing this. Funnily enough, I don't feel like trying on my entire wardrobe while feeling this pap. I imagine there is nothing more depressing than trying on a wardrobe of clothes, while you can't properly see or raise your arms up above your body, due to being so achy. Good times! I'll be doing this shortly, so can let you know how depressing it is.

Also, I spent ages trying to buy a dress (was 100% silk, beautiful, in the sale, in my size - hurry, might sell out) from Miss Selfridges earlier. Due to Visa Verification (I appreciate they are saving us hassle and money but lately they've done nothing but cause me hassle), it took ages, two phone calls to Barclays and Visa Verification and two hours - it finally went through, yeah!!! They haven't told me that the dress is unavailable but I did go back and check and it's now out of order in my size - woe is me if is sold out. I guess it's fate that I'm not supposed to have it. Boo!

Time to try and get my achy slobby body in to dresses and shoes and try to look as presentable as I can. This will be my 5th wedding of the year and my first sober one, crikey - sober at a wedding, well I never!!! Surely that is illegal for over 18 year olds?

On the upside, if I'm feeling better tomorrow, the wedding will be ace, alcohol or no alcohol. Plus it's a nice trip to Somerset and a rather posh stately home - oh la la! And on Friday, Bring on the Powerhouse, as I'm seeing Fat Freddy's Drop! Dance Dance Dance Woop Woop!

And then another 50 things to do this Saturday, yeah! 

And if at any point the remnants of this bloody cold catches up with me, I'm going to re-hookup the Lemsip IV. This is the beginning of my December and I'm not going to be too ill to miss it, no way!!! If need be, I'll keep myself to a certain semi-healthy level and be ill in January.

New ideas are always better

When you get off your arse, a lot more gets done. Surprisingly?!

After 3 years of promising to watch my old housemates, Howard's, favourite  Christmas film "It's a Wonderful Life", I'm doing it. Am sat here at work, watching it and have cried, laughed, been horrified and am in admiration. It's fu*king brilliant!!!

Howard has the right idea completely, it's all about the proper idea of Christmas. Being with loved ones and doing favours for people, instead of keeping all your time to yourself. It's a beautiful film. The postman suggested it should be redone in colour. What a horrific suggestion! Why oh why do people try to ruin things with modern ways. It's a beautiful black and white film, there truly is nothing like the old fashioned black and white classics. They are so romantic, misty, well shot and just fantastic.

I've also found that Hollywood (modern, not old) are still trying to refilm classic horror films (they've truly run out of ideas). 

They've massacred: 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Old one: classic art house, suspence filled horror. New one: Jessica Biel in a wet white vest with no bra), 

The Amityville Horror (haven't seen either but a good friend of mine is outraged), 

House of Wax (Old one: B Movie fabulousness. New One: Paris Hilton gets killed, this is the best part of the film), 

The Fog (Old one: B Movie, bad monsters. New One: annoying actors who you want to die), 

They are currently in production of Friday the 13th. One of the best horror scenes I've ever seen is when Kevin Bacon gets stabbed through the mattress, they'll never be able to recreate it and it's a shame that they even try. I checked under my bed for weeks and I still do occasionally even now.

And horror of all horrors, they are redoing a Hitchcock, one of his most brilliant pieces of work, The Birds. Do they not realise that this film is so amazing, due to the director, not the story. It's like redoing Da Vinci's Mona Lisa and then claiming it's the same. It's blasphemy in Hollywood.

Now a know a lot of film storylines are taken, remodeled and repackaged, I'm not stupid but when they literally take a storyline and refilm it, word for word and then throw in some more gruesome images. It takes away from the original horror factor, which is the imagination of the viewer. It's such a shame.

As for Hollywood remakes of the Japanese Horrors, it's pathetic that Hollywood felt they had ot remake it with American speaking actors, because the subtitles might remove some of the suspense or whatever the excuse was. I've seen some of the American versions and have hated them compared to the originals. The originals were brilliant and scared me shitless. So for now, I'll stick with the originals, because most of the time, the originals are better anyway.

Some recent brain sick....

So this week, I have mostly been laughing.

I can't help it, I'm laughing at everything, with my bad moods, with my friends, with my good moods, with the stupid things I say and do and also I'm laughing at strangers (not in a bad way, in a shared positive way). I'm finding it a fabulous thing to do.

A couple of my friends and I went on a joint STD clinic visit (it's always good to know and it's a free NHS service, why wouldn't you go yearly?) and my male friend was papping his pants, so I sat there humming the Jaws theme tune - cruel but fair. Turns out we are all safe, STD clean friends - which is nice!

Am totally confused about life and how it works, as recently I've had dealings* with two chaps and might be having dealings* with another two guys, all who's first name begin with A! Just to keep things simple. One of guys I haven't done anything with I adore and would rather keep his friendship, than ruin it with complications. We will see...

I'm hating the new Mr Muscle adverts, it appears that Mr Muscle has been on steroids - it's crap now! No more string vests, stripy boxers or arms the size of cocktail sticks. Now a superhero outfit and huge musclesm it's shit!

So sit back and enjoy one of the classic ads:

Last night, I downloaded the best of Whitney Houston and Britney Spears - think iTunes may cancel my account, due to poor taste in music but there is a reason, other than the fact that "I wanna dance with somebody" is one of the all time greatest dancing songs, in fact I lied, there are no other reasons.

Have maxed out my credit card again, shh, don't tell anyone.

My knitting princess status may be coming to an end, because I keep on waking up with the claw - it hurts and makes typing quite hard.

The transport/traffic idiots of Oxford City Council are being idiots. They are finally permit parking a huge amount of East Oxford, which is a really good idea. The bad idea is that they haven't actually visited any of the streets to survey, especially around my area there are a lot of home made driveways, right where they claim permit parking will be. Have replied to their report, implying that maybe getting off their arses and coming to see the actual roads they'll be trying to organise, might help - or something to that effect. Let's see if it makes a blind bit of difference, probably not but then again, it's not them who will be trying to park here, so why should they worry?

I love the comic tv show "No Heroics" it's bloody hysterical.
http://www.greatstufftv.com/veoh.html?file=v16018219FMYJazTc

I'm still in love with LoveFilm.

* Doesn't necessarily mean intercourse, it could just mean a kiss or something to that effect. It's all extremely random, as I recently had a 7 month drought without even a snifter of anyone or thing.

P.S. This was my 100th post!

True Brilliance

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7730018.stm

What to type..

I've loads of things to say, but not sure what to start with or how i can fix them all in the one entry.  They are all odds and ends and don't really gel well, so I think I may just waffle on and on about not a lot.

I have to admit, a lot of the entries on here have been a little thin, as I've a new place to invest, which is a little more private in a public sense and of course, I've been freaking busy, which doesn't help much, other than my stress levels.

Am currently asking a friend the following question, out of everyone in the world, who would you kill first? Not sure who I'd start with, as you've the option of political figures who can get it so wrong or are just huge fascists! Annoying famous people, annoying people in real life, people who have hurt your friends or family, etc...god knows where I'd start. I don't think I'd start with someone who'd hurt me, I've dealt with my demons, so would I go to my friends and famillies tormentors? Probably not, as I think they've near enough dealt with their demons too, so...god knows?!

I might kill the directors who make awful remakes. The remake of the Texas Chainsaw springs to mind...oh and the director who did the House of Wax remake (although you did get to see Paris Hilton die and for that, I'd give the guy an oscar), it's such a hard question to answer.

I can't remember what else I was going to write about now, got sidetracked but will bid you a farewell for now, I've work to do...enjoy thinking of your killing spree lists...

Palmtastic

So, at the weekend I went to a sing-a-long Sound of Music - it was fucking awesome and don't knock it till you try it!
Although randomly I don't ever remember there being Nazi's in it or the escape at the end of the film. I only ever remember them getting married, so maybe I used to turn it off after that (well happily ever after is so much more beautiful, especially when you're a young girl).

Anyway, the point of this blog is that after the fantastic evening, I went to The Pot to see Chips and Moneymaker, as they'd been working. Shortly after I arrived, my bosses came back to the pub with some friend and a friend's parents. It turned out that the step-mum was a palm reader, this got me VERY excited!!!

She said she'd happily read my palm, I was extremely estatic!!! So we sat in the corner, one of the first things she said was "you're very creative and not in just one area, you're really creative and you need to apply yourself more, it's the key to your future career" - correct and what the ?! My future career?!
- "In the last two years you've had two flings very close together, you're very close to meeting, in fact you've already met him, you're very close to starting up a relationship with the man who you'll spend the rest of the life with. You've a long long line on your heartline, which implies once you've hooked up, you won't be parting for a very long time." - score, although he's got a long wait if he thinks I'm going out of my way or going to make any effort, lol. Plus I thought maybe she was talking about my relationship with Paul last year and how within two weeks, I was in bed with a future fuck buddy. These were the last flings I had. Unless she's got her timing wrong and is talking about now. I've had some fantastic fun with a couple of lovely chaps but that's all. Plus if two years is recent to her, it probably won't happen for another 3 or 4.
- "You're going to travels loads, although they are rather short trips, not long excursions. They seem to be linked to your creativity, Maybe you'll be a journalist?" - Umm, you've seen my style of writing, it's unlikely but I do prefer long weekends away than massive bouts of holidays.
-"You're extremely centered, you know who you are, this is very good. It adds to your lovely nature and spirit" - thanks, it's hard sometimes to be so amazing but someone has to do it, lol.
-"You'll have children, looks like 3, 2 of them are extremely close together, maybe even twins" - run for the fucking hills, twins no way on earth. I want my children to be close together, if possible, but twins, hell no!!!
-"There is a 'V' here on your palm. I can't quite remember what it means but I'm pretty sure it's in relation to conflict. It's very prominent, so either you've had it and hold it close or you're about to have it. Either way, you hold it very close to you, almost too close. You don't want to forget it, you see it as a lesson" - I'm very peaceful generally but if I feel unfairly treated or as though someone is taking the piss, I'll put them in their place and this has caused some bouts of conflict in my life. I didn't talk to my grandma for 6 months due to disagreeing with her and have lost friends due to telling them they are out of order. I do hope it relates to a past conflict, as I don't actually enjoy conflict whats so ever.

I think that was about it. There were other things but they were pretty meaningless...I really enjoyed it though, was nice to get my palm read. I'd very much like to have it done by someone else, so I could compare notes but whatever. I also know it's very general, never precise but she hit some nails on the head and she couldn't have asked anyone about me before hand, as her step-daughter wouldn't have mentioned me in passing and I wasn't supposed to be there at all. Well no matter how you feel about it, I enjoyed it and love that sort of shit, so will happy try again...see what happens?!

Time will tell...

To make up or not to make up

Right, so I've got to write this now, as I've too much to say in a comments box. My dearest friend Axl wrote a simple blog about women not wearing make up.

Right, so I agree with them. Most ladies do look lovely without make up. I was always told by my ex that I looked better without but he was pretty insecure, so I always thought he wanted me to look pap so other guys didn't look twice at me (easily plausible). I'm very religious about taking my make up off and always think after I've removed the tired, half worn away make up and put some moisturiser on, that I look much better, than five minutes before.

Recently, after some good nights of sleep, my first thoughts in the morning when I look in the mirror are "wow I look half decent". I mainly wear make up to make me look awake. Recently I didn't wear any to work and I looked like death (according to my bosses - thanks for that) and I do look extremely tired without the make up, where as with it, I can pretend that I didn't work until 1am, get to bed at 2am, sleep for 6 hours and then crawl out of bed to come to work, for the last 3 weeks.

I used to wear loads of make up (I've never been a foundation girl but eye make up yes), I was quite insecure, I was one of those confident insecure types, whereas now, I'm very confident and happy. I'll go whole days without ever even thinking about it.

I have friends who'll sleep in theirs, in case there is a fire in the middle of the night. I have other friends who think a little bit of mascara is over doing it, some that like to wear a little here and there, others who wear the entire make up counter just to go to the shops and others who wear it for fun.

There are loads of different reasons for wearing it, loads and loads. Mainly it's a mask to disguise certain tell tale signs of sleepness nights, stress, scaring, etc. But some times it's just fun to still be you and look like someone else, someone who could conquer the world or run a bank or be a dirty little bitch.

It's the fun that I like most, it's the changes of expressions and faces. I don't think it's bad, in fact I think it's amazing but there is something incredible about a fresh face, which will always be classic. Just allow your lady friends to be who they are, reassure them that they are beautiful and they'll relax and show you the real face soon enough.

Some people should be left to get on with it

Now I know that the police have a job to do, as do the Motorway surveillance team. But, after watching the clip below, you really think that maybe they should leave some people to it. Watch the film and then read my rant, if you fancy having your ears chewed!

Stupid women

Here are two Swedish sisters walking down the central reservation of the M6 (for the non-British of you, it's an extremely busy road connecting the South of England to the North). The motorway team see them on the cameras, the police dispatch to bring them to safety, not only are they risking their own lives, but the drivers too.

The police slow the traffic, bring the girls to the side for questioning. As they are asking what I assume would be simple questions, one of the girls breaks away and runs directly in to the oncoming traffic (What the fucking hell?!). She gets hit by a lorry (surprise surprise), as she gets hit, her sister runs after her (I know they are blonde but seriously?). She also get hits but by a van. Now, if they want to kill themselves, do it on their own time, not on others and don't do it where they are likely to fuck up everyone else's day. Those poor drivers who hit the girls, poor poor people. On a side note, the traffic generally slows down when the police have lights flashing on the side of the road, so am guessing they got hit at about 40-50mph, this isn't the usual motorway traffic but still - ouch!!!

Because they made a break for it and got hit. The entire motorway stops!!! Massive tail backs ensue. People's lives are stopped due to these stupid bitches! One of them then tries to have a similar thing happen on the other side of the motorway, after assaulting an officer who is trying to save her life (let her fucking get hit, maybe she'll die and then she'll learn not to play on a motorway!).
Plus a helicopter gets called out to take the first stupid bitch to hospital. Do you know how much a call out of a helicopter costs? About £1000 apparently!!! And after all this bullshit, the second stupid bitch gets one day in jail! ONE DAY!!! The other gets to sponge off our National Health for 7 weeks! To me, this is extremely unfair justice! They risked their own and hundreds of other peoples lives, as well as upset a couple of drivers who hit them and also, could have caused numerous crashes along the way. They then have a helicopter called out to them, another cost. They probably had legal aid at the court hearing and 7 weeks on the NHS and then we get the added cost of paying for one of them to go to jail for one day - I'd have rather invoiced them for everything and made them pay it or face jail in Sweden for 6 months! At least that would have made more sense and not pissed our money and services up the fucking wall!

Now I know I sound like I read the Daily Mail, wear wellington boots to walk my dog across the fields, while in my Barbour mac and obviously vote Conservative but really? Can you really tell me it was worth saving their lives? Is one of them going to save someone elses life? Is one of them going to cure Cancer? Doubtful!

Some people have said to me, they can't be straight in the head, drugs must be involved but still, what the fuck?! In my eyes, it would have been easier, cheaper and quicker to have left them to it.

Nothing like a clever advert...

http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/9/Diesel-SFW-XXX-577249.html

Max & Gabe

I stole it from Radiohead's website, they stole it from the web, but it is funny...

The best lies we tell, are the ones to ourselves

I'm the queen of making up excuses for why I should or shouldn't do something. This isn't generally directed at work related things but towards my personal life, yes indeed.

I spent 6 months telling myself why I shouldn't date someone before, I also spent 4 months telling myself I should. I've spent nights lying awake at night convincing myself that I must buy something - mainly clothes but I can convince myself that my life will end if I don't own a certain item - I'm the worst or the best person to go shopping with, depends what you want. These are all excuses for one reason or another...basically, I know when I'm procrastinating but that doesn't stop me.

For the last 2 years I've been making the excuse that I don't run, due to not having the appropriate music playing device. Before this, I used the excuse of no suitable footwear. After 2 years of constantly telling myself and myself happily believing it, I've caved and spent £30 on a 2gb ipod shuffle. I did save £10, so this is a worthy cause to spend my hard earned cash on. Plus I don't currently have a boyfriend to waste my money on, so am quids in!

Although I did realise something awful yesterday, I don't own any sports socks?! Now, it's not that I don't want to go running, I actually do. It was the only sport I was good at, at school. But I'm easily distracted by things like beer, food, sitting, watching mind rotting tv, etc. I get excited about heading out and then find a reason not too.

2 years ago, one of my other excuses was that I lived on a very main road (far too public to get cramp, red hot, sweaty and eventually keel over in), then it was that I was cycling loads so didn't need to run but now? I live near the park on a very quiet road, so can keel over in peace and quiet. But I live half way up a hill (not a good look - crawling up a hill, not quite what was expected). I know what will happen, I'll run down the hill first (it just makes sense) and then get to the pub at the bottom of the hill, jog on the spot outside the window for about 10 minutes and then decide I need to use the facilities and on my way out, I'll stop for a chat with the bar person and then will have to order a pint, as it's just being polite, but of course I'll run home afterwards, it only makes sense.

I am going to attempt a little run here and there, if I can I'll go once a week, if not to the pub, maybe further. I mean, if I don't, no one else will. And this spare tyre I store will only stay put. Although like I said, I don't have any sports socks...what was that?...a pint free...oh ok, if you insist.

Another favourite blog of mine...

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

Pure genius!!!

Now time for the best URL of our time

The best url I've seen in some time: http://www/ivefuckedupbiggergigsthanthis.com 

This is a blog from Radiohead's crew, who at times get a little bored!

Waiting Room Game

When waiting at the doctors, or hospitals I like to play a little game. When you walk in to the waiting room take a look at the people in there. Now pick someone and give them a name, it has to be someone you was in there before you, as they are more likely to get selected before you.

Now give that person a full name. Maybe pick a couple of people and give them name. Then sit and wait...maybe if you fancy it, give them a little story too. Eventually they'll get called up, they are (sadly) never called what you've named them, but maybe one day?

It's not much but it passes the time and is normally quite entertaining!

You can't catch a toilet seat from aids

'Morning Campers', is what I was hoping to hear at the weekend, alas I was camping but not in the 1950-60's, shame really. My obvious response would have been "hi-de-hi", instead of the tent turtle sick bucket that I became after drinking everything Devon had to offer in the way of alcohol and having a drunken walk down to the beach at 3am, where the coastguard kept on coming by to make sure my friend hadn't found the sea and decided to go for a morning swim in the dark.

This weekend was glorious, it was Luke's birthday, he was turning 27, so had the grand idea of dragging a group of his nearest and dearest friends to the Devon coast to camp??? I know, I was thinking that I was 26, not 6, but I have a rule of only one camping expedition a year, so had to stand by that rule. Most went down on Friday, myself a couple others took my shiny new car down on Saturday due to other commitments on Friday night.
The drive down was quite funny and so long due to everyone in the north part of South West England deciding to also head that way and the roadworks Bristol is currently doing, grand idea to do them on the South West express route during the "summer"?!
We finally arrived to head to the pub, in true countryside style, it was about a 3 mile walk away from anywhere. The weekend was a rather lovely affair, with a great group of friends and some how I managed to get some sun, even though I spent nearly all of Sunday puking and hungover in a tent, well what else is drink for other than to make you feel incredible about yourself and then take it all away again.

My new car is finally here, at last, only a month late and I nearly didn't it at all. It's come with a dent (which is be beaten out, once the chap can fit me in) but also a nice discount for said dent. It's shiny and relatively new and goes like the clappers and has backdoors, you've no idea how important they are until they are taken away. I'm not use to them yet, I keep on trying to load things through my front doors. I no longer have a boot release but am coping with that just about. These things are tedious but the simple things are what you deal with everyday when driving...need less to say, I'm in love with it!!!

Anyway, enough of my drivel, I've a car to drive and work to do.

Sore losers are nothing but sore!

So, I'm not that in to the Olympics, I don't expect to win (isn't getting in to the event enough, I think so) but I have enjoyed it, not because we've been winning medals but because when I watched the opening ceremony, I spoke with an Australian friend of mine, who said she was going to support Oz this time round, as at least that way she'll see medals be won.

WELL, was I full of glee when on Sunday not only did we have more golds but we also had more medals in total! I'm not one to gloat, I find it generally a vulgar thing to do but I do like to put a little dig in occasionally, because I can. So I asked that for the next Olympics this friend continues to support Oz, couldn't resist. At which point, she said "well medals per population of the country, you come way down the list to us", I'd respect this comment, if the whole population competed but they/we don't. Only the athletes do!!! I know that we do come some way down the list of population per medal, as I also listened to the Radio 2 show that did this tally chart. Why did they do it? because they were ripping the piss out of the States for also being sore losers and for tallying the Olympic results by total medals! In fact, the country that comes first in medals per population is Bahrain and Oz is about 6th or 7th but realistically, I think the correct list results should have been medals per athletes!

Right the results are -

Country Gold Silver Bronze Total Competitors

China 51 21 28 100 639

USA 36 38 36 110 647

Russia 23 21 28 72 474

GB 19 13 15 47 311

Germany 16 10 15 41 452

Oz 14 15 17 46 435

So, if we do it competitors by total medals it reads:

USA 5.88 competitors per medals

China 6.39

Russia 6.58

GB  6.61

Oz 9.45

Germany 11.02

Now in my eyes this is how it should be viewed, not by population, yet if the Australians have to find some way (as the Americans did) to make them sleep safe at night and feel as though they are still a force to be reckoned with, whatever?!

I don't actually care, I guess I just have the typically English view that if you lose, you accept it, at least that way you can hold your head up high and also, they haven't lost, they've done a great job especially compared to many other countries (there were approx. 204 countries competing and they've come 6th, that's good in my eyes) but I guess to some, that's just not enough!

Oscar Wilde had it right...

...with one of his more commonly known quotes "I can resist anything, except temptation". Too bloody true.

Temptation, it's a hard one, for me as a consumer it's all around and I always buckle, someone mentions crisps or chocolate or going out for a pint and my mind starts spinning...dreaming of those salty potato slices, the sensation of melted chocolate on the tongue or that fizzy golden juice to quench my thirst. Even writing this, I'm thinking about how on my way home I could pick up some beers. And then my main problem crops up again, I've no money. I've ways around this by going to the pub I work in and putting it on my tab but no no, can't do it...I've been so good lately. 

I've been so good in fact, that I've finally finished jobs around the house that needed doing; I've finished wall papering my wardrobes (only took me 8 months), have also resorted my wardrobe, finished a friends birthday present, fixed some broken items and I may even tonight get my sewing pile semi sorted, who knows?! Or then again, I may get bored of being in and cave by going to the "pub at the bottom of the hill" for a thirst quenching drink?! 

Bloody temptation, no matter how little or small, it's all around and always ready to pounce.

I've also just discovered that New Look is finally online, ever since the new shopping centre in Didcot opened, it's become my favourite shop to buy clothes and shoes from, not that I buy much any more due to my "financial issues". This is enough to make me want to drawl through the pages and pages of shoes and clothes, was also trying to suss out ways to buy without having to pay immediately - yeah I know, stupid as it is. I won't be applying for a store card, that is one lesson I've learnt. Also don't have a credit card currently due to my "issues" and have no intention of applying for another one. But in the back of my consumer run brain, someone is crying 'find a way, these things sell like hot cakes, they'll be gone by the time your cheque comes through, just do it!', but I won't give in, well not till my cheque comes and then I may give in a little...

Story lines that don't add up

Lots of people complain about Sex and the City (all blokes can please hold their comments) and how unrealistic it is with pay, flats, lifestyle, etc (i'm a huge fan, don't get me wrong, not in a compulsive scary way but I like it) but my biggest problem is the fact that Miranda Hobbs had a baby with a guy called Steve Brady. They aren't married and live separately, she decides to call the kid Brady (yep his dad's surname) and then in Series 6 they get married, so the kid is now called Brady Brady - is it just me or is this extremely cruel? Especially as it's brought up when Samantha mets Smith Jared that it turns out his parents called him Jared Jared.

And another problem with a TV show I have is Fraiser. Daphne (played by Jane Leeves who is from Essex) is supposed to be from Manchester, she has a southern accent. Her brother Simon (played by American Anthony Lepagho - Without a Trace) comes to visit and has an cockney accent, even though he's supposed to be Manchunian. Later on, her brothers Michael (played by Robbie Coltrane - Scottish) and Stephen (played by Richard E Grant, English) visit. Michael has a mumbly Scottish accent and Stephen has another southern English accent. Fraiser is supposed to be an intelligent show, surely someone realised that Manchester is up north and has a rather obvious accent, and they got away with this monstrosity of accents for 11 years! I like the show but every time I watch it, I just get frustrated and it doesn't help that it's on TV at the time I'm getting ready to come to work, so it's either put up with it or watch Jeremy Kyle - there no contest really.

Back to me, with the old way...

Randomly, I'm slowly becoming less private than I was, which is kind of scary. I've spent the last year of my life, being very private and over the last two months I've slowly become the old me (who wasn't a bad model) and am glad for it. I'm not so guarded or sheltered. 

Hence some drunken blogging, nothing like it!

Have spent the day with Viktorious. Awoke, called the wonderous being, showered, dressed, joined her for some shopping delight, obviously her shopping delight, we all know my current financial plans. We pottered, we ate Mexican for lunch (was about the size of a small baby), shopped some more, drank a jug of Pimms, tried on some of the most horrendous dresses Debenhams had to offer (truly awful), some drinks in Copa (Wig & Pen to the old Oxford lot) at which while walking up some stairs, I stumbled, threw my pint and her wine up, caught most of my pint and lost most of her wine, stabilised myself, curtsied, thanked everyone for watching my trick and carried on my way. Watched Sex and the City the movie (just what I wanted, tears, laughther, shit in the pants fun, Nina joined us for it - yeah!), Sushi and then some more beer fun and banter!!! - fan-fucking-tastic night!!!!!!!!!! - extra !!!!! for the fucking hell of it!

Am now drinking fizzy wine and watching Grease 2, trying not to sing along, like Chips and I did last week - all  the while wearing awesome emo alice bands from Harrods (Primark), "Reproduction, baby give it to me now, Reproduction, is that all you think about", yeah you know the words, sing along!!!

God I love life and my friends for being exactly who they are! x x x

Here's Nina for some random crap in the pant hell of it - 

so as pippa mentioned we're watching grease 2 (first time for me) and i'm slightly bemused by the a) extreme 80s take on a supposedly 60s soundtrack and b) how the hell frenchie has a voice naturally that sounds like shes been inhaling helium all her life and just now c) pippa singing in my face using a bubbly bottle as a microphone and interpretive dance moves- it's impressive...

i seem to have develop a sign recently that states 'i'm single and want very weirdo in the place to speak to me'..i suppose it could be entertaining to a point except that i seem to have also developed and instinctive 'fuck off' response followed swiftly by an apology for being so arsey. to be honest i just need to kill the apology response...it's mildly amusing to be able to tell people what you actually think of them. ok very amusing...i'm sure i'll grow up soon but in the meantime :o)

anyways, i shall leave the entertaining  to pippa..i seem to be better at insulting people at present..oh, but for the record i highly recommend sex and the city... i was surprised and impressed at how much of it rang true to life.....

Let's do it for our country, the red white and the blue - maybe that's just me, willing to do it. Ok maybe not, but with the charm, banter, cheesy lines and usual bullshit, I love it all! Although if someone did start singing this song to me, I'm not sure if I'd call my gay mate or shag them - who knows, let's try it and find out, preferably with the guy I fancy but I doubt he even knows this film, he's way too COOL - god damn it!

Am really enjoying our house currently, it's in the exact clean state I left it in, no broken glasses, drunken alcohol, eaten food or mess. I'm not really one of those people who actively misses people. If I remember them, there is a part of me who wishes for a minute with them but in every day life, it's just not part of who I am. While in Kiwiland, I missed a couple of my best mates, because I desired to be the real me, not the polite well brought up me but I didn't long for anyone in particular. But there is a hole in our home and it's filled by our version of the Vengaboys - party all hours of the day, leaving mess, chatting usual drugged filled party crap and kebab wrappers fuckers - bless their little fun having hearts. It wouldn't be as fab without them and it really isn't! They'll be back on Tuesday night and I'll probably hate it, loads of drying laundry, rotten food and stories. 

Crushes, are they called so as that's how you end up feeling?

So, I've been having trouble keeping up with my blog, I've already apologised about this but I have found a way to track my brain sick, while on the run, or should that be road - well whatever. I've found a new way to still bore you all sensless with my inane crap. Bad luck!
Below you will see how they will probably look from now on in. Except when I have an occasion near my computer, obviously!

The only down side with this type of blogging, is that you'll realise how bad I am at puncuation and grammar - god bless the auto correct, if only they could do it for proper English, rather than the crap American's claim is English. And could implant it in my brain.

How time flies when you work...

I know I've been neglectful and don't deserve my blog. I have attempted to write a couple of blogs but I get halfway through and loose my track of thought, or my wind, or my effort, etc - I just get bored, I suppose these things happen when you do something for so long, after a while things get a little boring. Plus I've been extremely busy and don't have much time for myself at the moment, which kind of sucks but I'm coping.

Recently I've been having to relive my past. It's been very strange...way too many break ups going on in one place. Although for once I don't feel tired, fed up, angry, upset, fed up, annoyed, wound up, depressed, for once after having to relive what happened when I last broke up with someone (the almighty heart crippling break up), which was about two and a half years ago or so, I don't want to tear something shred to shred. I feel at peace with the past. Yeah I suppose it should have taken less time but when new things constantly crop up, raking up the past, it's hard to allow it to be left where it should be but for once and all, I'm at peace with the break up that broke my heart. Also, am extremely comfortable with being single, I actually forget at times that I am, which has happened since I was about 16. I suppose both things could be linked to the next thing (below), as when you have no time, you have no time to over think, which would make sense I suppose.

I've been working my arse off. By the end of this month, I will have worked a total of 255 hours. On average about 53 hours a week. It doesn't sound like much to some of my friends and to others it sounds like hell. But I'm coping. It was hard in the first week, 4 nights at the pub, 5 days at work but now it's just what I do. And it's what I'll be doing or another year, although after June, I may lessen my hours or rearrange them slightly, so I can rest more during the week. But it's been fun and I feel like I'm actually working towards paying off my debt. Although right now, most of it has gone to the utility companies, which sucks!

Plus, is it just me or are others also tired with having to constantly ignore friends requests (on facebook) from people they went to school with, whom they have no interest in. Constantly I get requests from people whom I hardly spoke to at school, let alone gave a shit about and now they constantly try to add me, surely they get the idea?!
My friends are: people who I know relatively well or had a very good laugh with once or twice, people I see regularly, people who mean something to me, people who are just too good to pass up the chance to not be friends with or to spy on.
Not people who I met once and never spoke to again, or people who I once went to school with 10 years ago and haven't seen since and if I did, I would most probably ignore.

Morons were placed here to annoy/entertain us all...

So, this week has been a week of constantly telling people that these people aren't available, and a whole lot of yes no three bags full syndrome.

I have sent quite a few emails, apologising to people (who want to borrow the people I work for) as these people are unavailable due to heavy work loads this year and every time, I receive a reply along the lines of the following"oh i didn't want to do it immediately, are they free at the end of the year?", now surely my response of "i'm sorry this year is very busy with schedule, promotion and touring", books up the entire year?! Well I'd have thought so but apparently not. I now have about 10 emails I'm ignoring, if i could reply once more in an unprofessional manner, my response would be 'if you can't read, don't email'.

Also, had a classic call a minute a go.
Chap: "Hi, I wondered if such a such were free for a party next wednesday?",
Me: 'I'm sorry they are playing a gig up north on that day'
Chap: "The whole band?"
Me: (thinking: No, of course not the whole band, that night we decided to be experimental, send half of them to your party and the bass player and keyboardist to the gig - of the whole fucking band! Professionalism kicks in), yes the entire band are playing the gig.

IDIOTS!

Glange Fever should knock your socks off!

A very funny video by some chaps I know:

Anyone for squash?

Now I generally find Victoria Beckham rather repulsive, but of late, I find her even grotesque and one of the main points of disgust are her breasts, they're so horrid.
At which point did people think that two flatten balls of flesh pressed against the torso was a good look?
I like breasts, of course not like a man, but they are very attractive and can look incredible but when someone has fake boobs, not much can be done to make them look better, or attractive in my eyes.

When a breast is lifted (by bra or whatever method) it should slope and look pert, not be squashed and flattened.

I think that one of the sexiest things about a ladies cleavage is the natural slope from the top to the tip. And the slight cleavage spacing, not tightly squashed together but loosely pushed together - it looks amazing!

I know it's not just Ms Beckham's breasts which are repulsive (look at her face?! Nah, that wasn't quite what I meant), I'm implying that I know loads of people have boob jobs and some of theirs look fine (not constantly squashed and horrid) but her's are just awful and if girls are growing up, thinking they want to be like her and see her breasts as nice, they are seriously misguided.

I do wish she'd put them away to be fair, well in fact, I wish someone would put her away full stop and loose the key. I mean seriously, what does she do?! And how can someone live without smiling constantly?! And what sort of materialistic screwed up view on the world will her kids have?!

My CD player extraordinaire!

The CD player in my car has been having issues of late. He has started to believe he is anything other than a CD player.
I'm not sure what he thinks he is but it's definitely not a CD player, other wise he'd play the CD's I put him in, regardless of what they were or maybe he is fed up with my taste in music and decided to take it upon himself to stop playing anything he dislikes?!

It used to be that he would play anything but occasional home burnt CD's. But over the last few months, he's got pickier and pickier. It started with him refusing to play some pop (Kylie was most put out), then he decided that he'd refuse perfectly good classic music (The Mac and Mamas & Papas weren't overly impressed to say the least), now I have to confess around this time I was also listening to a lot of Queen and I mean a lot!!! So maybe he got fed up with me singing along to all 3 greatest hits albums?!
But since then, the beginning of December to be precise, he's become so temperamental that the only CD's I can guarantee he'll play are: Barry White, Tina Turner, Radiohead's In Rainbows and occasionally Arcade Fire's Neon Bible and that is it, from my collection of about 20 CD's in my car!

So when I've a craving for something special, as long as it's one of four CD's, it's fine or if I've got my iPod, it's fine, although it really isn't, as the iPod trip I've got occasionally buzzes and also is a lot quieter than the CD's are, so there is no chance my eardrums will start bleeding due to excess noise.

I'm definitely thinking that my CD player thinks it's a cassette player or something similar. He just doesn't quite understand the media of the digital age anymore...bloody thing!

The Dips and Waves of 2007

Isn't life a strange thing. 2007 was a pretty awful year. I had originally resigned to think 2008 was a repeat of 2007 but decided after seeing some friends and just ranting about crapness to change my outlook to sunny side up!

2007 was a strange year, it was a limbo year of crap. Nothing really happened but everything actually happened, it was a strange affair.
January came in with a load of new friends, singledom lingering and a horrendous bust up with a good friend for the sake of saving him later pain. It was generally full of loads of arguments and hostility. And my resolution was to stop biting my nails.
February was wank, still full of hostility, was still shagging an ex who decided when and where and came and went as he felt fit, nothing really happened, although my friends life were generally frantic at this time and I spent a lot of time walking on egg shells to offer ears to people.
March was a non-starter really, although it was mainly full of organising my party.
April had the best birthday party of my life, it was definitely a high point of my year or even maybe my life?! Having one of my best friends fly half way round the world for me was incredible and also, finding most of my bedroom upside down with fantastic! Also stayed with the Chapman-Pinchers in Pershore and went to Weymouth - Both incredible times!!!
May if i remember it was sunny and lovely. May Day was loads of fun. It also involved lots of bike rides and sitting in the garden reading books.
June and July came and went. Not much happened, other than a trip to Longleat (so much fun), more bike rides, BBQ's and generally great nights out. Also started working in the pubs...money ahoy!
Aug and Sept came and I started to date a new guy who was adorable. Moved house and finally got rid of people who had to linger in my life. Also realised I love living with guys, compared to girls...more even in the house, bit more like the family home.
Oct and Nov were weird months, loads of work and sickness. Became single. Went on a couple of dates with a strange guy who just stopped calling one day? Got death threats from someone I've never met and who is supposed to be in love with a very good friend of mine - extremely odd!
And finally Dec which was a strange month, didn't last very long and was full of lots of official clear ups. I ate a lot of Sushi during the month and I got to stand on stage in front of 700-800 people and attended one of the best parties I've been too! And I've near enough managed to stop biting my nails, only took a year!

So, 2008 started...the first week was dreadful. I saw the new year in with such an anti climax, started to dread 2008 but it's all change now. Am seeing/not seeing a fabulous guy who I adore, god knows why I do but I do. Have been informed I'm getting some cash from various areas, which is all to pay off my credit cards, as my new years resolution is to clear my debts. And am off to Kiwiland in February for a wedding of two good friends. One of my best friends is out there and am hoping to collect a hug from her aswell, and I just found the shoes I've been searching for since November for £12 - bargain!!! Rock and Roll on 2008!

Tumble Me

Before I start this story, I'm just going to quote that yes I had been drinking but:
a) I was not drunk, or tipsy, had just had a beer and 2 gin and tonics.
b) I was wearing heels, which allows me to have been a little more off kilter than usual.
and c) I know you shouldn't play ball games indoors, unless it's those sorts of ball games (sorry couldn't resist).

So, the story starts like thus:
On Sunday, I went down to London to see a friend and yes, I suppose you could call him a "friend"! We hung out for a bit, got hungry, went out for dinner, drank said beer. Popped to the pub on the way home, had the two gin and tonics that I mentioned, or Gin and bollocks as my friends and I refer to them as, but like I previously stated one was not drunk or even tipsy.

We got back to his front door and inside his hallway, now let me set up the scene. He lives in a very nice first floor flat, the stairs are inside, carpeted and outside of his flat door, it's all very well lit.
Once inside the hallway, said friend decides to start playing with a football, kicking it up the stairs, I get bored and due to having worn heels all day, just want to sit down, so take his keys and start up the stairs. On the way up, I happen to stop the ball from rolling back down the stairs. At which point, he states "look what you've done", I'm now at the top of the stairs, turn and go to kick the ball back to him. Unfortunately, one has never been good at sports or hand eye/foot eye co-ordination...Instead of kicking the ball down, I end up throwing myself down the stairs, head over heels, while falling I smack my head and left knee against a very hard brick wall, I also slam my thigh and shin against the stairs.

It's amazing how slowly you fall and how quickly your brains thinks. My thoughts during my fall, which felt as though it lasted for at least a minute or two, was firstly:
Gosh, I was only thinking the other day, it's been yonks since I fell down the stairs.
How long are these stairs?
Am I about to knock said "Friend" over like human skittles or will he somehow be able to stop me?
Thank god, I've finally stopped and I'm not damaged.

What transpires is that, my friend stopped me and then remarked "Bloody hell, are you ok? You could have broken your neck?!", to which my reply was hysterical laughter, while sitting on his feet two thirds of the way down the stairs.

I now have a huge growth on my forehead that isn't very visible but bloody hurts. I hugely swollen left knee with impressive bruise to suit. A lump on my right shin with mild bruising and a deep purple bruise on my right thigh - I never was very dainty.

But I suppose that is what happens when you misunderstand and fall head over heels at someone, instead of for them.

Strange Looks

If you ever want to get strange looks in a supermarket, buy 48 condoms and about £10 worth of sweets - was a very funny shopping trip!!!

Taking a time out

Life is such a funny thing. I find it so easy to get wrapped up in my life, that I get annoyed and fed up by the simplest of things, like the below post - pointless and futile but still the instant reaction is at least true, real and nothing more.

When these moments happen, I get to a point when I get so self involved, I start to fret about the most stupid of things, about people and their perceptions of me, worrying about the state of cupboards or obsessing about that noise in my car, which I swear wasn't there before - very selfish, stupid little things which get in your brain and start to whirl like the waltzers.
Once I reach this height, somehow something takes hold of me and I stop the ride and get off, this is easier said than done, after getting so wound up and in a state, it's hard to stop thinking in the manner I did before, but for sanities state I have to learn. If only I could realise I was in the state before it gets really bad, now that would be a trick.

This can be done in many ways: having a long hard talk to yourself (mine always end in conflict).
Walking about observing the smallest, most minute things, like blades of grass and realising how incredible and beautiful this world is (does work well but when you're in such a state, this is a long process of constant relapses).
But I find that reading one of Paulo Coelho's books normally does the trick. A lot of his books are based on faith in God and the bigger picture, etc. I believe in the bigger picture but am always unsure about the God issue. I was raised as a Catholic and I think religion is a good idea to a point, because it's given people a guide to trying to be a better person. I also think it's bad, (one example, not all) as there are to many people who take what it says literally (no pinch of salt required) and there should always be a pinch of salt, it's also in some retrospects rather dated.

But regardless of that, Mr Coelho's books always make me feel that my worrying and chaos in my head is so pointless, life will continue after I'm gone, so as long as I try to life it the best I can, be good to others, repent the bad and try and spend as much time enjoying it, what's to worry about. Things will happen without my influence and sometimes with it, so let it get on with it and I shall get on with having fun and trying to make sure my friends and family do also.

So I thank Paulo for always pulling me out of my self-obsessed moods of hepped up craziness.

Christmas, Bah Humbug!

Apparently it's Christmas in a few weeks?! So-what?

So far, I'm not in the mood at all. I have bought some presents already, due to my brother and his girlfriend going away and also due to my other brother being impatient.
I've a little collection of presents left and I'm sat here thinking I should get off my arse and go and get the rest of the presents, before I end up spending the money on myself and my wardrobe. Instead I'm still here, writing this, thinking instead of going shopping I could always finish wall papering my room or maybe do some more cleaning but I know I've got to give in and get them.

I guess there are a few points to my lack of Christmas spirit. I'm having Christmas with my friends this year, not my family. It's been a few years since I had a fantastic Christmas, the last one being at an ex's family with his housemates, as we all got very merry and the food was amazing. Or maybe the fact that I'm normally driving, causes me to not be able to get in the Christmas spirit, who knows?! Plus, it's been yonks since we had a proper large family Christmas, no nephews, or family friends joining us, which in my eyes is what it's supposed to be about.
Plus it's not cold enough, what is that about? Let's move it to February, when it actually does snow.

Oh well, I'm going to give in shortly, maybe if I listen to Christmas songs on my iPod, I may get in the mood.

If anyone sees some Christmas spirit, could they try and catch it for me please.

One of my favourite things

Other than eating Wispa' for breakfast and lying in till past midday (which would be classified as a rarity for me now a days) is random events, when you go out for a night with one idea and the night totally turns around.
I had one of these a month ago, I was supposed to be working at the pub, ended up being let off at around half ten, called a mate and met up for a drink, bumped into someone else as the pub was closing, went with them to Drum n Base, met up with other mates there and had the most amazing time ever.

A similar thing happened this weekend and it was very pleasant. It was The Fizz' birthday, the plan was to go to Turnmills in London, so we got on the bus around half nine (listened to 20 year olds sing karaoke all the way there, not only this but they were drinking and dressed as pirates, lol...was rather funny in an irritating/funny way). Arrived in Farringdon, went to the pub to meet people, pub closed one person had turned up, located another bar open till late finally others turned up, drank, partied, 2.30 bar shut, off to Turnmills more drinks, chatting for me, dancing for others. People left, people turned up and I ended up staying in London until Monday morning.

Fucking brilliant weekend and here's to more nights in a similar sense. I love random nights.

Axl stress

I was asked by Axl to write a blog for him...lazy bastard. So I had a think, a long winded think about what topics to write about...and came up with a whole lot of nothing. so i wrote about his office and now, I'm a little scared, is it going to be good enough? Is it going to be what he wanted? Will his audience like it? Golly the stress is to much, so for now I'm going to crawl in to a small hole and try to not think about it, easier said then done, of course.

To read my blog for Axl or generally quite funny stuff Click Here. Hopefully I'll be Guest Blogger 8.

Hard times

My day today consisted of meeting both David Byrne and Adam Buxton and looking at a good looking, hairy faced American - god damn, I find work so hard sometimes.

Although like I was saying earlier, the famous and talented really are wasted on me, I just don't get it?! I remember sitting back stage at a gig once with Jimmy Page, Dave Grohl and Roger Taylor and I was far more interested in looking at Taylor from the Foo's - he's so pretty. I believe I was dismissed by the boyfriend at the time for having no idea. Well I'm sorry but they are just talented people, we all meet talented people (doctors, architects, writers, etc) daily but we never praise them, so why praise someone who's appeared in a magazine once, twice, 50,000 times?! After all, they are just people too. Leave them to their quiet lives, simple.

Gloating over and out!

Bugger bugger bugger, did i say bugger?

Why is it when all you want is for someone to call you back, the last thing they do is that?
How come when you're in a hurry, some cunt drives as slowly as possible in front of you?
How come when you plan a quiet night in, its the same night one of your friends has a major crisis, therefore leaving you unable to have your night off?
How come when it's quiet at the bar i work at, it's also the one night when some boring prick sits at the end of my bar and decides they want chatter?
How come no one will ever take responsibility for others behaviour or property?
How come when your brain is about to explode, some arsehole continues to ask questions, even though you've no more space to fit anything else in your head?
and why the fuck, regardless of which phone network you use, do they kidnap text and answerphone messages for days on end, yeah cheers for that?!
And most of all, how come the one night you really need sleep, you can't do so?!

As you can tell, I'm in a foul mood...all of these fucking things above have happened to me this week. Why everyone won't just leave me alone for a day or night, why i'm unable to be allowed to just be, instead of having to be something is beyond me...but one thing i know is that i'm fed up with it.

Rant over!!!

Sleepless in Oxford

I couldn't sleep for shit last night, yesterday I realised I needed to get some things sorted on my car, so set about an early night due to feeling like pap due to my cold and things weighing heavy on my mind. 11pm up in bed with lights out, I was expecting an update from the policemen who was dealing with my case and he's working nights, so I left a message saying I'd be awake until midnight - so didn't feel as though I could properly sleep until gone midnight.
I spent the next hour tossing and turning, finally falling asleep. 2 hours later I was wide awake, tossing and turning again for half an hour. Then off to sleep again but waking every time I turned over. Finally off to sleep, deep enough to dream but after I had my bag stolen in my dream, that was me awake again. 6.30am, as most of you will know, I don't do mornings, if i can help myself but after my dream, I had little option of going to sleep, so decided to get up and get my car sorted - 8am I arrived at the garage to see shock all over my mechanics face to why I was there and so early. He even stated, I thought you didn't do mornings, my response, it's amazing what fretting can cause.

So, I am now sat at my parents writing this and considering to do some cleaning to help, as my ma has been very busy and also away with work.
That's it, fingers crossed it'll pass the issues it was experiencing and I'll be able to stop fretting.

I know for a fact now that my whole week is going to be lopsided and buggered due to getting up early...Grr!

My Rose Tinted Life

So far this week, it's all been rather uneventful, compared to recent weeks but it's been a lot of fun. The way I view life is it's not what happens, it's how you tell the stories of what happened that make life interesting or not.
Hence my requirement to always put a comical angle and a rosy glow to any events, bad or good - at least that way it'll be entertaining for others and most of the time sound like a fairytale - which after all are some of my favourite styles of stories.
So let's start with Saturday night, I know it's unorthodox but playing by the rules is boring.
I originally had Saturday night booked off, due to drinking plans but everyone got busy else where, so I said I'd help at the pub for the rugby...the pub was rammed when I arrived, 3 deep, haven't seen it like that in ages, so set about serving people booze, the first person I served was a rather handsome chap in a rugby shirt, who had hulking shoulders and a cheeky smile - mmm! After the game finished, I put on the only fitting song I could think off 'Another one bites the dust' by one of the greatest bands in the world - Queen! It went down ok, I think everyone was too busy licking their wounds to even notice the ironic undertones of the song.
I continued to help out for a while and then eventually clocked off, with a few pints inside me, drank some more with my housemates and friends, at one point I drank too much (am in the belief the Tuaca makes me go insane, I was scaring people who were drugged up - that's impressive for one who just drinks), anyway, like I was saying drinking away to the point where even when we got home at midnight, I was still drinking - not at any point did I consider being too drunk - god damn, why did I not consider that?!
That night I force fed Roo's girlfriend Red Bull, danced my head off, flushed my half dead goldfish Bob (long live Bob), chatted to Beth and then realised that chuckupvilles was a nice place to visit twice. Finally passed out in bed.
To wake up on Sunday with a hangover from hell, I was literally sick every 5 minutes over the space of 3 hours to the point where I got the fear of dying, at which point I called for help from the housemates, who were fabulous. Cheers Chips and Ninor.
Finally felt alive and stopped feeling sick at about 6pm after a few hours sleep. The house went out for dinner, I had a meaty steak to replenished my lost stock and it was so so good - no wine though for obvious reasons.

Monday consisted of my getting up and going to the capital, everything ran to plan and as I turned up so did the coach, we all got on, I just sat down when the bus pulled away and then slammed his brakes on, to which I heard the sound of a girl falling down the stairs backwards - ouch!!! After a 20 minute delay, the ambulance taking the poor thing off and us being shipped on to a new bus, we were off again.
An hour later I arrived in one of my favourite cities but in one of my least favourite parts of it (god damn Oxford Street - the best thing about Oxford Street is the Selfridges Christmas Windows)..met up with one of works accountants who is a lot of fun, had some sushi (yummy, thanks Azmat), left Azmat and went to an exhibition at The Barbican.
This exhibition is good, very good...although if you're a little prudish, do not attend as it's all about sex and how's it's been perceived through the years through different cultures - the Asian population are right dirty fuckers! It was quite inspiring and also very interesting, although if like me you're single and have no "special" friends, don't go - one of the bigger anti-climaxes of my life, lol. But all in all, brilliantly curated!

Tuesday I woke for a early morning bike ride around Oxford, as always when I cycle by the river, only female rowers, no bulky men - god damn. While in town I purchased some oils so I've no excuse to put off my new painting, like I've been putting off making my new curtains - procrastinating is loads of fun. Did some cleaning, came to work and then went home to join Lezzard and Dave for some crap horror films, no need to leave the light on that night, they weren't even a little scary, although I did scream twice during the first one but I'm a jumpy bunny, what can I say.

Wednesday, work and work, although I did receive one of the best chat up lines ever (I'm a sucker for chat up lines, love the cheesy ones delivered in a hellish cheesy manner and I love the ones that make we women buckle at first hearing). This one was a new one on me but a lovely one nevertheless.
"Your mother must be a beautiful lady" I thought it was nice, although he was quite old, so either he was complimenting me, or trying to chat me up or wanting my mum's number, god knows?! But anyhow, thought it was rather adorable.

All in all, not a bad week so far - fingers crossed for the rest of it, although I originally had a night off on Friday to get wasted but it's had to be cancelled due to other commitments, was hoping to go drinking with The Fizz but she's now got to work, so think I may as well earn money also, at least that way I can afford Kiwiland in February.

Pipsywoo Is...

Pipsywoo Is...getting fed up with her head and how easily her Facebook status has over taken her life.
It was originally a bit of fun, some make me laugh, others are factual BUT...lately, it's become a bit of an 80's rom com gone bad, really bad!

Everything I do, I "Status" it in my head:

Pipsywoo Is:
...making a cup of coffee.
...going to the toilet.
...going out to get fucked.
...listening to motown.
...drooling over a photo of someone.
...at work.
...thinking of something to write here (never had this one before, always have plenty to say, that's the problem!).

But lately, I've been doing the voice over in my head, think a classic episode of 'The Wonder Years', everything I do is accompanied by "Pipsywoo is...", this is not a good state to be in...not at all.

It's got to the point, where I'm finding ways to get around the constant setting of "Is", Pipsywoo is glad that she went out, etc, not good at all.
Am banning myself from a status!

Maybe If I had a proper job where I'm busy from start to finish, like those rare days here, I wouldn't have as much time to think of these stupid things but the case is that I'm told to distract myself if I get bored and that as long as I do my job, no one cares what I actually do - oh, ok!

I am seriously going to re-evaluate my facebook dedication and maybe start finding other things to do but the internet is a rather boring place!

Freaking Old Age

When I was younger, I could sleep for hours non stop, undisturbed sleep easily for at least 10-13 hours a go. I also used to have Sunday bath night (yeah, I'm that cool) I used to light candles, add oils and bubbles and settle in for an hour or two for total relaxation. I used to stay up for 2 days in a row and eat whatever I liked.

Nowadays, I find it hard to sleep for more than 8 hours max, I try but it never works, unless I'm ill. I run baths, settle in for a good hours reading and after 20 minutes I get bored and have to get out of the bath. As for staying up, I like regualrity in my life now and as for eating, I have to eat certain sized portions or I gain more weight then I'd like and I have to make sure I don't eat as many sweet foods.

It sucks being older in many ways but it is also so cool....I'm so more aware of who I am and what I like, am having more fun and don't bother hanging around people who bore me now a days, etc.

Pucker Up!

I've been thinking for a while about how certain acts that we humans do, are extremely strange.
Why do we shake hands? Why do we kiss? Why do we clap to show appreciation? And sex, what on earth is that about?!

The main one that confuses me is kissing, it doesn't appear to really do anything health wise and when the kiss is right, it sends shivers right through you're whole system and makes you light headed, but is that because we relate it to a sexual act, or because of nerve endings and where they are connected too.

I've had my share of kisses over the years:
My first kiss was when I was about 7 years old, it was sloppy and vile, I thought that he'd licked my entire face - horrid! (But thank you Jo, it means a lot that you shared your boyfriend with me for my first kiss).

I've had the tight mouth kisser, when they hardly move their mouth or lips.
The guy who always follow every kiss with a peck on the lips.
The kisser who never used his tongue, ever!!! Literally kissed me as though we were 80.
I've had the kisser who used only tongue, no lips, no warm up.
The guy who had no rhythm.
I've kissed the guy who used the inside of his lips, so it was quite sloppy.
The guy who always tilted his head to the left - pretty awkward!
And the guy who was perfect in everyway, other than his halitosis.

I've discussed this matter with a few of my ladies friends and I think we are set on the perfect kiss being the following:
Lips, full pouty lips with no tongue to begin with, good pattern and rhythm of movement, not too open or closed.
When stepping up a gear, maybe a little more open and a bit of tongue, working well with the rhythm.
When the passion heats up, obviously more tongue and probably a little more open but only when the passion level is right.

I personally love it when the man stiffens his top lip, adore it in fact, but I also love stubble tingle on my top lip, so maybe I'm a little weird.

But kissing, it's awfully good fun but a random act that's never truly been explained!

Some random Kissing facts:
* Kissing prevents cavities and plaque build-up by stimulating saliva production while preventing gingivitis through the calcium present in saliva.
* Kissing stimulates over 30 facial muscles which smoothes out skin and increase blood circulation to the face.
* Kissing burns 12 calories per five-second episode and three passionate kisses a day will help you lose one pound!
*Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) as those that are released when you engage in intense exercise such as running a marathon or skydiving. This causes your heart to beat faster and your breathing to become deep and irregular.
* Kissing stabilizes cardiovascular activity, decreases high blood pressure, and lowers cholesterol.
* Kissing prevents the formation of the stress hormone glucocorticoids which causes high blood pressure, muscle weakening and insomnia.
* Kissing does its part to vaccinate people from new germs. Saliva contains bacteria, 80% of them are common to all people with 20% unique to each person. By sharing saliva with a partner, you are stimulating your immune system to respond to the different bacteria you are being exposed to. The result is that your immune system creates certain anti-bodies to these new bacteria, which in effect vaccinates you against these germs. This process is called cross-immunotherapy.
* Finally, you may not be surprised to know that kissing offers an express analysis of genetic compatibility. While you are kissing, your brain conducts instant chemical analysis of your partner's saliva and issues a "verdict" of your genetic compatibility. Think about it. Don't you know much more about what you like or don't like in a person after one kiss? And kissing is much more fun than taking a relationship inventory!

Info from: http://www.celebratelove.com/thekiss.htm

Personal ads

I'm currently reading a book (yeah I know, a book - reading - me, never thought it was possible, did you?), anyhow, within this book the lady is going through a divorce and she's put a personal ad in a paper. Her personal ad is so precise and rather scary - if I was a bloke, I wouldn't apply...no way.

So, I set about thinking about the things she put in her ad, aren't they things you're suppose to learn and discover during the dating period, the fun things to learn and try to memorise. I'm not sure if any of you (myspace friends of mine) remember but a while a go I wrote a personal ad on my myspace blog (due to friends insisting it's not right for a girl to be single and happy, so I cracked under the pressure and it also made me laugh, A LOT)...I'm sure it'll have changed a little since I wrote it but if I was going to write a hugely precise personal ad, what would I put in it and what would I forget by mistake...I think mine would read something like this:

I like my sleep but normally between 3-11am, I'm a complete night owl. I love to hate daytime tv. I adore bad American comedies that I can ridicule. I love finding spelling mistakes in magazines, papers and especially menus. I'm generally a light hearted girl and relatively easy going. I love banter, am quick witted and have a dark sense of humour. I've the table manners to eat with anyone from the Queen to a pack of wild dogs, other wise known as children. I love the little things, smells, flowers, nature, tokens of friendships, entering a warm cosy house from the cold, sparklers, photography, friends laughter. My friends and family generally come first. I love time with myself, as much as I love time with friends. I like doing crosswords alone, I hate people helping me, unless I've asked them too. I love going outside, walking in the countryside, bike rides, etc but I also adore a day on the sofa watching films and scoffing my face. I'm pretty independent, so you'll need to be so too. I can be one of the guys but don't treat me like this all the time, I am a girl after all. I love to shop for anything and nothing but I hate shopping during the sales. I love my friends and will understand and defend their actions to the skies. I find it very hard to say no, please don't test me, I feel guilty for a lot of what I don't do. I can be a bit of a neat freak. I love high heels but I generally keep them for special occasions or emotional pick me ups. I'm a cynical optimist and yes that is possible. I love dressing up, whether it's fancy dress or for dates. I love eating out and going out. I know what I like and what I don't, if I'm unsure or unresearched I'll let you know. I love going to art galleries, museums and locations with good history value. I'm generally accepting of people's opinions, I may not agree with them but I respect the right to have an opinion. I'm mac based, not pc, therefore I need it simple and straight up! I'm a fighter not a debater.

You see, I could go on but I won't...the only problem with this is that, I've spoilt the first half of getting to know someone, some of these will either be said in conversation, learnt in time or mentioned along the line...it's the whole point of getting to know someone and there is nothing better than the first fight in a new relationship, where you learn more about your than you did before.

I'd rather someone learnt this, I'd rather they didn't know some of it, I'd rather it was found out in the old fashioned sense of the world. Maybe that's why I always go for the old fashioned way and it's probably also why I don't like the idea of speed dating, dating websites, etc - I'd rather just one day bump in to someone, I like the mystery of never knowing when I may meet someone or how I may meet them. I believe in happily ever after and like to hope it'll work out one day, I'm in no hurry for it to do so, just happy to hang about and see what happens...maybe that's why I'm so wary of these places and ways to hurry up such a natural occurrence. Who knows?!

Dancers so tiny

One of my all time favourite songs is Elton John' Tiny Dancers, yes it's a cliche song, many love it, many don't understand it and many just don't like Elton but i find it such an uplifting song, it's beat and general tune is full of hope and life, it makes me want to stand up, dance and shout from the roof tops, it makes me want to experience everything life has to offer in one huge gulp - and why? how come? what is it about that songs that makes me full of happiness? Even when I'm crying my most painful tears I sing the lyrics out loud and bright with a smile on my face.

It starts, climaxes and falls all in about 3.5 minutes, it could end there but for some reason Elton starts up again and continues for another 3 minutes, it's almost like life i suppose, just when you think you're out and done, something happens and you have faith again, not nessecarily when you need that reassuring pick me up but it always comes along, normally when you've just started to pull yourself out of your lull, as you've realised that you're the only one in control.

It also is from that most fabulous film "Almost Famous", which yes i have just finished watching, that film makes me smile and for no other reason than when it first came out, my oldest brother Julian was at uni in York and he phoned me after he finished watching to say that it was a great film and how Kate Hudson's character reminded him a lot of me - not sure if he was calling me a crazy groupie or a free spirit but i still always remember that comment, it was one of the first compliments he'd ever said to me and one of the first times I remember my brother having acknowledged me as an individual, rather than his annoying little sister.
The film also reminds me of the times I toured with the 22-20s, god I miss those guys - they were so talented, still are in fact and such incredible blokes - the friendliest, generous, caring guys, who loved having trusted individuals at hand to make them feel that some sanity exsisted during a crazy period of abnormalness. I find it hard listening to their music now a days, I find it's like listening to a dead person talk, it's an odd peculiar feeling that makes me warm with reminising, happy with fond memories and cold with the memory that it can never be again...so bizzarre.

I've had such a bizarre period in my life recently, I found happiness from within, for the first time in a while - since I clutched to straws. I feel whole again and I feel whole on my own, instead of needing someone elses reassurance.
I've discovered I've some disquiet inside me, some painful memories i wish weren't so, some amazing friends who i haven't acknowledged properly and the ability to make myself happy or sad - it's up to me and me alone.

I'd been lost for a while, since Jan or maybe April, I'd been trudging on, getting through it day by day, i had thought I was involved in life but I wasn't, I was in fact making life happen, because i needed distracting. I feel that when i need to, I'll be able to fall in love again and be able to trust that person, to not use and abuse because it's there or because they are hurting...but because they want to feel loved and be loved and because they couldn't imagine a life without me in it.
I'll find this eventually, one of my rocks from the last year summed it up best, I've just been unfortuante in life to have choosen those who are broken, needing something to lean against and hold them together, until they feel strong enough to go and fix themselves. This I believe and even though some of those haven't been the greatest and may have made me feel worthless, they've also taught me a lot of things about life and myself - isn't that the most important lesson of all?

I want to also forgive those who have hurt me, for their selfish acts and stupid actions through careless thought, I shall do so in the long run but right now, I need to make my most loved feel loved.

I am finally back to wanting to say what I've always wanted to say to people, without fear of ridicule or upset. I'm free to remind these people how special they are and to not put prices on their heads because they feel a need to justify to others.
I want to make my friends feel as lucky as i do for having them in my life. I'm a huge believer in saying things, while you can, instead of a coffin, because you didn't have the guts to say it when you might have gotten a reaction. I thank my parents all the time for having done everything they did and providing me with the childhood I had, I'm extremely lucky and I'm aware and very grateful for that, more than many would probably know.

Sorry for this drivel that started out so promising but when you are feeling happy, content and reflective, you can't help but want to share it with the world.

More cynical bullshit tomorrow. Promise. x

Words worth indeed

I'm addicted, yep I mean truly addicted but not in the proper way, like my mate Luke would be, I mean in a rubbish way. What am I addicted too...well it's a very simple addiction - I'm addicted to words.
BUT, not in the same way others are, strange long words that mean the same as a simple word but show you've a brain and a memory, no I'm addicted to words as in Facebook scrabulous and Bella Crosswords.

Now I know what you're thinking but you can stop right there!

As a child, one of our games on holiday was to try and make words out of the number plates of the other cars, it's a simple game and keeps kids entertained for hours, especially when you're at the age of not knowing how to spell - I won many a time, as my brother had to let me win, I didn't know any better (age card always win). But I still have a habit of doing so to this day, while driving or seeing the odd sign, etc.

Scrabulous is a lot of fun. Friends you assumed would be good at it are rubbish, people who you thought would kick your arse don't, people who are just overly intelligent get non-stop 7 letters but fail at the 2, 3, 4's. etc - it's truly fabulous!!!
I'd say I'm a level pegger, some people I can beat, others anialte me and I have fun the whole time through, as I learn new words, be them all 3-5 letters but never the less, I'm using my brain power.
It's got to the point where I'm apply the number plate game to scrabble, what letters have I got, what can i spell?!
It's as simple my numberplate, is like a bad dream of scrabble tiles - VSISWZV - spell what?

As for Bella crosswords, you may have scoffed (Axl I know you will have but you'll eat your words), they are some of the most random and hard crosswords I've ever done. I took two in to work the other day, Chips and I did one each, they were pretty regular (not fashion, gossip, film, etc based, proper crosswords) BUT... recently, they've stepped up a key. It appears that in monthly cycles, the crosswords get harder and harder and then return to regular everyday ones. They are impossible!

I tried one last night, that was the cryptic bitch crossword, I've posted it below and if anyone can complete it, I commend them. I've challenge many a person to them and no one has done it yet, I even asked the fountain of knowledge on crosswords (The Mother) and to no prevail!
If you do complete it, without help of books and dictionaries, etc - send it to: Aren't you a clever dick!

Hence my desire to know more and more words and want to conquer these bastard people with there scrabble tiles and crosswords in the crappy mags. Damn them!

Crossword from hell

Scabby Elbow!

I have a scab on my elbow, it's all thanks to The Boy deciding he was bigger and stronger than me in The Cellar the other night, so we scrapped and my elbow got scraped down the brick wall...at the time I was pretty wankered, so didn't feel it but the next day, it was all sore and gross.
Every time I touched it or put it on something it hurt...it finally scabbed over, in an impressive form, for a surface scrap, not a proper cut and a few days later, it's at that point where my scab has started to make my skin itch - I really want to pick it but I know that will start off some bleeding or pussing. Normally I'd pick it without thought but it's in an awkward place and was really irritating when I first did it, although it is starting to peel up implying that it's ready for a picking...

So basically the question is: To pick or not to pick?

You're pathetic!!!

There are certain people in this world who should grow the fuck up - they are pathetic, childish and selfish and should take a really long look at themselves, before they start treating people, who tried to be their friends, to a good old stabbing in the front!!!

Although if they grew up, they'd have to take a look at their actions and selves in the mirror and take responsibilty for everything they've ever done, how they've treated people, etc and for some narrow shouldered people, that's far to much weight to bare, oh well off to the shed with a length of rope. Put us all out of our misery, you waste of space and air!!!

How dare you think you can upset my friends? Try to upset me, that's fine but never shit on my friends, as they are kind caring and don't deserve your actions - no one fucking does!
My favourite fact is that the one person, who you claim to love is who you're shitting on most, (i hate to say this but..) he deserves it, we did what we did for him and him alone but he couldn't see the wood through the trees and foolishly followed his heart...turning his back on a loyal best friend of many years, who'd have done anything for him. The only reason I think he deserves it, is how he's treated that said friend since all your shit hit the fan...if he'd ever been a friend to him, he'd never have said or acted how he has. Being blinded by love can only be responsible for a certain amount and he excelled that, a long time a go. Poor boy will have the shock of his life, when he finally sees you for who you are!!!

If you do happen to ever want to grow up or learn from this, note two things - there is no such thing as a free hot dinner and never shit on your own doorstep!

And always remember, never get to sure or cocky, as fate has a funny way of making sure everyone gets what they deserve and your comuppence is just around the corner.

Why won't everyone just fuck off!!!

So far today I've been rude and blunt to someone on the phone, been asked 50,000 times why I'm not going to Reading Festival, sworn a lot at many a traffic light turning red (fucking bastards), got pissed off at someone as they wanted to know if their artist was a)still at our studio and b)awake. And made a promise to myself that if I ever got the chance, I'd run over one of my best friends ex's, because he's a fucking CUNT!!!
So yes, I admit it, I am in a foul mood, really foul mood and I don't want to snap out of it, not at all, i am revelling in it and loving it, a lot!
There are many a reason to why I'm in such a horrid mood, mainly because I am tired, so tired and fed up - work and life seems never ending but this is nothing to complain about, I'm being paid and enjoy my jobs, so that's fine.
I moved house last week, am still knackered. I don't live in cardboard city anymore, which is nice but I still haven't had any time to chill and do nothing, I've had half an hour or so here or there but nothing more.
I've also had the mild stress of cleaning the old house, what fun, etc, etc, etc - the list is endless, right now it is but it'll stop very soon, which i can't wait...it's all cool.

Now to explain my being rude to someone on the phone, the guy fucking deserved it...it's so socially inept that he doesn't have a very nice phone manner and he's never thought about changing it, so in my eyes i'm doing a service to others who have to talk to him. He never says "goodbye", i mean this is basic polite conversation - what the fuck is up with that. And he also starts the conversation with "Hi it's George", as if that's going to make me fall to the floor or rush his call through sooner or do some other amazing shit, just because it's George and secondly, why the fuck doesn't he start the conversation with what the fuck he wants, rather than who it is - he's always so awkward on the phone, i hate answering the phone to him, oh so much!

The traffic lights explain themselves, bunch of conspiring motherfuckers!!!

As for Reading, if anyone else askes me why I'm not going, I'm going to simply answer "Fuck off, that's why!".

How the fuck do i know if her artist, yes HER artist is still here - i arrive at 10am, most artists don't wake until lunchtime and secondly, can i see through fucking brick? No i don't think i fucking can - so fucking phone your artist and find the fuck out!

And as for my best mate's ex, he best fucking watch out the next time he's walking along the Cowley Road, I'll happily get points to knock him flying - god being run over really is too good for him, torture is even too good for him, i hate him so much...more than anyone else...which I'll get back to later.

Right now, the one thing that pisses me off more than anything is presumptious people, i find them more rude than ignorant people - fucking cunts!!!
A few of my beliefs on often brain patterns for presumptious people:
You've done it before, so you will again and because you've done it before, you'll feel awful at the idea of saying no, so you'll do it - taking advantage, fucking cunts!!!
I'm foreign, I know I shouldn't presume but I will, as we can blame it on cultural differences and then you'll also do it, because you're too polite to say no - Cunts, fuck off!!!
You've always done it before, so I'm not going to ask if you need help or take any initivite for your sake, you obviously enjoy doing it.
I'm a cunt. I can't be bothered to take responsibilty for my actions, as I'm a cunt. I have no real friends, as I've spent my entire life lying to myself and my friends, so stand there with a pan and brush, while I shit on my own doorstep and then you can clean it up - spineless, lonely CUNT!
And my all time favourite: I'm a fucking cunt and know you're nice, so I'll deal with it, you generous foolish prick.

These are some of the cunty actions I've had of late, of absolute and utter cunty pricks who have decided to take advantage of me, because, god knows why, because I'm nice, because as long as you've never fucked me or my friends over, I'll treat you how I'd like to be treated, fuck knows but I hate them all and wish a huge selective bomb would wipe them the fuck out!
Above are a few, there are others but I can't be arsed, I'm in a bad mood but I've discovered the weirdest thing lately and I don't know where to file it, other than Limbo, which I hate as I call it a cop out. But you'll have to be a friend of mine my myspace to read that, as it's far to personal for here.

Rice

Now Surely, Uncle Ben would be rolling over in his grave, if he knew the makers of his rice were making it convieniently for the microwave?
Now I suck at making Rice, it's an art form of which I can't do but I still think microwave rice is really, really wrong!!!